Children are born with an incredible spirit. Everything is new, fascinating and thought provoking. As parents, it should be our goal to keep this spirit alive and fresh for as long as possible. Unfortunately, we often unwittingly do things that squash the spirit in our children. Here are some common spirit breakers and some spirit menders. See if you’re guilty of doing things that can break the spirit. Then try some of these spirit menders to help get you back on track.
Spirit Breakers
• Squashing Dreams – Your little boy tells you that when he grows up he wants to be an astronaut and fly to outer space. Trying to instill some reason in him, you inform him of how difficult it is to be an astronaut; how smart he’ll have to be, how much education it requires, etc.
• Belittling Talent – Your daughter is great at soccer, but her grades are not as good as you’d like them to be. When she acts proud of scoring the winning goal, you say, “it would be far more impressive if you got an A in math”.
• Humiliation – Parents sometimes resort to embarrassing their child in order to get them to change behavior. “See, son, little Johnny doesn’t have accidents in his pants, and he’s your age.” Not only is this tactic ineffective; it breaks the spirit.
• Brushing off what your child thinks is fascinating – Children have a tendency to get somewhat obsessed with things. Maybe it annoys you that your son spends hours watching the stars through his telescope. However, if you give him the impression that being fascinated with the stars is silly, he may become ashamed of his interests and be afraid to pursue the things that really matter to him.
Spirit Menders
• Having a curious mind – If you show interest in how things work, and share this interest with your child, you fuel their natural curiosity and interest.
• Being involved in what they like – Your children have activities that bring them joy, join in those activities with them! Get off the couch and participate!
• Show that you’re proud – Be proud of whatever they accomplish – and let them know it. You can never love them too much and you can never tell them too many times that you’re proud of their accomplishments.
• Listen to them - Your children have fascinating original voices listen to their likes, dislikes, stories and experiences.
Take a deep breath and begin to be present, loving and compassionate today. It's not too late to mend your child's spirit.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Tips on Separation Anxiety from Kid's Health
Unfortunately, teary and tantrum-filled goodbyes are a very common part of a child's earliest years. Around the first birthday, it is common for kids to develop separation anxiety, getting upset when a parent tries to leave them with someone else. Though separation anxiety is a perfectly normal part of childhood development, it can be unsettling. Understanding what your child is going through and having a few coping strategies in mind can go a long way toward helping both of you get through it.
How Separation Anxiety Develops
When your baby was first born, you likely noticed that he or she adapted pretty well to other caregivers. This is typical for most infants. You probably felt more anxiety about being separated than your child did when you first left him or her with a relative, babysitter, or a day care provider! As long as their needs are being met, babies younger than 6 months typically adjust well to other people.
Sometime between 4-7 months, a baby typically develops a sense of object permanence, and begins to learn that things and people exist even when they're out of sight. This is when babies typically start to play the "dropsy" game, when they drop things over the side of the high chair, look for them, and expect the adult to retrieve what they've dropped (which, once retrieved, get dropped again!).
The same thing occurs with their parents. Babies realize that there's only one of you, and when he or she can't see you, that means you've gone away. However, at this point, your child doesn't yet understand the concept of time and doesn't know if or when you'll come back. So whether you're in the kitchen, in the next bedroom, or at the office, it's all the same to your toddler. You've disappeared. Your child will do whatever he or she can to prevent this from happening.
Between 8 months old 1 year old, your child is growing into a more independent toddler - yet he or she is even more uncertain about being separated from you. This is when separation anxiety typically develops, and your child may become agitated and upset whenever you try to leave him or her. Whether you need to go into the next room for just a few seconds, leave your child with a sitter for the evening, or drop off your child at day care, you may find that your child cries, clings to you, and resists attention from others.
The timing of separation anxiety can vary widely from child to child. Some kids may experience it later, between 18 months and 2-1/2 years of age. Some may never experience it. And for others, there are certain life stresses that can trigger feelings of anxiety about being separated from a parent: a new child care situation or caregiver, a new sibling, moving to a new place, or tension at home.
How long does separation anxiety last? It varies from child to child. And it also depends on the child and how the parent responds. In some cases, depending on a child's temperament, separation anxiety can be persistent from infancy and last through the elementary school years. In cases where the separation anxiety interferes with an older child's normal activities, it can be the sign of a deeper anxiety disorder. In cases where the separation anxiety appears out of the blue in an older child, it can be an indication of another problem that the child may be dealing with, like bullying or abuse.
Keep in mind that separation anxiety is usually different from the normal feelings an older child has when he or she doesn't want a parent to leave. In those cases, the distress can usually be overcome if the child is distracted enough, and those feelings will not re-emerge until the parent returns and the child remembers that the parent left.
And your child does understand the effect his or her behavior has on you. If you come running back into the room every time your child cries and then stay with your child longer or cancel your plans completely, your child will continue to use this strategy to avoid separation.
What You May Be Feeling
During this stage, you're likely to experience a host of different emotions. It may be gratifying to feel that your child is finally as attached to you as you are to him or her. At the same time, you're likely to feel guilty about taking time out for yourself, leaving your child with a caregiver, or going to work. And you may start to feel overwhelmed by the amount of attention your child seems to need from you.
Try to keep in mind that your child's unwillingness to leave you is a good sign that healthy attachments have developed between the two of you. Eventually your child will be able to remember that you always return after you leave, and these memories will be enough to comfort him or her while you are gone. This also gives your child a chance to develop his or her own coping skills and a little independence.
Making Goodbyes Easier
There are a number of strategies you can use to help ease your child (and yourself) through this difficult period.
* Timing is everything. Try not to start day care or child care with an unfamiliar person between the ages of 8 months and 1 year, when separation anxiety is first likely to present itself. Also, try not to leave your child when he or she is likely to be tired, hungry, or restless. If at all possible, schedule your departures for after naps and mealtimes.
* Practice. Practice being apart from each other, and introduce new people and places gradually. If you're planning to leave your child with a relative or a new babysitter, then invite that person over in advance so they can spend time together while you're in the room. If your child is starting at a new day care center or preschool, make a few visits there together before a full-time schedule begins. Practice leaving your child with a caregiver for short periods of time so that he or she can get used to being away from you.
* Be calm and consistent. Create a goodbye ritual during which you say a pleasant, loving, and firm goodbye. Stay calm and show confidence in your child. Reassure him or her that you'll be back - and explain how long it will be until you return using concepts your child will understand (such as after lunch) because your child can't yet understand time. Give him or her your full attention when you say goodbye, and when you say you're leaving, mean it; coming back will only make things worse.
* Follow through on promises. It's important to make sure that you return when you have promised to return. This is critical, and there can be no exceptions. This is the only way your child will develop the confidence that he or she can make it through this time.
Kids with separation anxiety disorder fear being lost from their family members and are often convinced that something bad will happen when they're apart. It's a good idea to talk with your child's doctor if your child is showing signs of this, which include:
* panic symptoms (such as nausea, vomiting, or shortness of breath) or panic attacks before a parent leaves
* nightmares about separation
* fear of sleeping alone
* excessive worry about being lost or kidnapped or going places without a parent
For most kids, the anxiety of being separated from a parent passes without any need for medical attention. But if you have concerns, talk to your child's doctor.
Updated and reviewed by: Michael J. Harkness, MD www.kidshealth.com
How Separation Anxiety Develops
When your baby was first born, you likely noticed that he or she adapted pretty well to other caregivers. This is typical for most infants. You probably felt more anxiety about being separated than your child did when you first left him or her with a relative, babysitter, or a day care provider! As long as their needs are being met, babies younger than 6 months typically adjust well to other people.
Sometime between 4-7 months, a baby typically develops a sense of object permanence, and begins to learn that things and people exist even when they're out of sight. This is when babies typically start to play the "dropsy" game, when they drop things over the side of the high chair, look for them, and expect the adult to retrieve what they've dropped (which, once retrieved, get dropped again!).
The same thing occurs with their parents. Babies realize that there's only one of you, and when he or she can't see you, that means you've gone away. However, at this point, your child doesn't yet understand the concept of time and doesn't know if or when you'll come back. So whether you're in the kitchen, in the next bedroom, or at the office, it's all the same to your toddler. You've disappeared. Your child will do whatever he or she can to prevent this from happening.
Between 8 months old 1 year old, your child is growing into a more independent toddler - yet he or she is even more uncertain about being separated from you. This is when separation anxiety typically develops, and your child may become agitated and upset whenever you try to leave him or her. Whether you need to go into the next room for just a few seconds, leave your child with a sitter for the evening, or drop off your child at day care, you may find that your child cries, clings to you, and resists attention from others.
The timing of separation anxiety can vary widely from child to child. Some kids may experience it later, between 18 months and 2-1/2 years of age. Some may never experience it. And for others, there are certain life stresses that can trigger feelings of anxiety about being separated from a parent: a new child care situation or caregiver, a new sibling, moving to a new place, or tension at home.
How long does separation anxiety last? It varies from child to child. And it also depends on the child and how the parent responds. In some cases, depending on a child's temperament, separation anxiety can be persistent from infancy and last through the elementary school years. In cases where the separation anxiety interferes with an older child's normal activities, it can be the sign of a deeper anxiety disorder. In cases where the separation anxiety appears out of the blue in an older child, it can be an indication of another problem that the child may be dealing with, like bullying or abuse.
Keep in mind that separation anxiety is usually different from the normal feelings an older child has when he or she doesn't want a parent to leave. In those cases, the distress can usually be overcome if the child is distracted enough, and those feelings will not re-emerge until the parent returns and the child remembers that the parent left.
And your child does understand the effect his or her behavior has on you. If you come running back into the room every time your child cries and then stay with your child longer or cancel your plans completely, your child will continue to use this strategy to avoid separation.
What You May Be Feeling
During this stage, you're likely to experience a host of different emotions. It may be gratifying to feel that your child is finally as attached to you as you are to him or her. At the same time, you're likely to feel guilty about taking time out for yourself, leaving your child with a caregiver, or going to work. And you may start to feel overwhelmed by the amount of attention your child seems to need from you.
Try to keep in mind that your child's unwillingness to leave you is a good sign that healthy attachments have developed between the two of you. Eventually your child will be able to remember that you always return after you leave, and these memories will be enough to comfort him or her while you are gone. This also gives your child a chance to develop his or her own coping skills and a little independence.
Making Goodbyes Easier
There are a number of strategies you can use to help ease your child (and yourself) through this difficult period.
* Timing is everything. Try not to start day care or child care with an unfamiliar person between the ages of 8 months and 1 year, when separation anxiety is first likely to present itself. Also, try not to leave your child when he or she is likely to be tired, hungry, or restless. If at all possible, schedule your departures for after naps and mealtimes.
* Practice. Practice being apart from each other, and introduce new people and places gradually. If you're planning to leave your child with a relative or a new babysitter, then invite that person over in advance so they can spend time together while you're in the room. If your child is starting at a new day care center or preschool, make a few visits there together before a full-time schedule begins. Practice leaving your child with a caregiver for short periods of time so that he or she can get used to being away from you.
* Be calm and consistent. Create a goodbye ritual during which you say a pleasant, loving, and firm goodbye. Stay calm and show confidence in your child. Reassure him or her that you'll be back - and explain how long it will be until you return using concepts your child will understand (such as after lunch) because your child can't yet understand time. Give him or her your full attention when you say goodbye, and when you say you're leaving, mean it; coming back will only make things worse.
* Follow through on promises. It's important to make sure that you return when you have promised to return. This is critical, and there can be no exceptions. This is the only way your child will develop the confidence that he or she can make it through this time.
Kids with separation anxiety disorder fear being lost from their family members and are often convinced that something bad will happen when they're apart. It's a good idea to talk with your child's doctor if your child is showing signs of this, which include:
* panic symptoms (such as nausea, vomiting, or shortness of breath) or panic attacks before a parent leaves
* nightmares about separation
* fear of sleeping alone
* excessive worry about being lost or kidnapped or going places without a parent
For most kids, the anxiety of being separated from a parent passes without any need for medical attention. But if you have concerns, talk to your child's doctor.
Updated and reviewed by: Michael J. Harkness, MD www.kidshealth.com
What shall we do today - Activity Board
Help your children to learn daily rhythm and routines with activity boards. Two that we love to post for My Very Own School are the "What shall we do today board" and "The daily schedule". When your children have an image of the order of their daily activities they experience mastery and growing independence.
Your children will delight in telling you "What's Next" in their day.
Search www.lakeshorelearning.com and see what boards are best for your family. Get organized with graphics and help your children thrive.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Teach your 2, 3 and 4 year olds the rhythm and routine of school this summer!
The summer is a great time to practice the rhythm and routine of school in your home with your children. By 18-24 months children are ready to learn rhythms and routines. Make your family a My Very Own School Schedule two or three days a week and implement story time, outdoor play time and group activity time. Wait until you see how well your home runs when there is some order and routine. Not only will your children love it but you will too!
Here are some of the typical school experiences you can experiment with in your own home. Research online, talk with your fiends and go visit a preschool. For more ideas also go to www.mailbox.com, the very best resource for early childhood teachers and You! You can buy their annual activity book for a years worth of excellent activities.
Summer's Here and My Very Own School is IN!
Circle or group time: Children sit together and the coach initiates a conversation about topics such as the weather, the calendar, the seasons, a field trip, or an upcoming holiday. Sometimes she leads a discussion about a special theme or group project. The children learn concepts of time and space and gain new vocabulary words.
Free choice: Children choose from a variety of different activities available in the classroom: block building, puzzles, dress-up, water or sand play, drawing, or painting. They initiate their own play, either alone or with other children. They learn how to work independently, take turns, share, and play cooperatively with others.
Group activity: During this time, children may learn a song or dance. They may participate in making up a story, preparing a meal, planning a village, or working on a science or art project. They practice new skills, develop fine motor control, learn how to communicate their ideas and needs effectively, and how to work together as a team.
Snack: As they eat, preschoolers learn social and practical skills: how to set the table, to pass the juice and crackers, to carry on a conversation.
Outdoor play: Climbing, running, jumping, bouncing balls, and crawling through tunnels helps children develop large muscle control, motor coordination, and balance.
Clean-up: As they clear the table or put away the blocks, children learn how to plan, organize, and work with others.
Story time: Children gather together in a comfortable corner of the room to listen as the coach tells a story or reads from a book. They look at the illustrations and discuss them. The teacher asks questions about the story, helping children to learn to predict what will happen next. She encourages them to think about the characters and plot and to use new vocabulary from the story.
Here are some of the typical school experiences you can experiment with in your own home. Research online, talk with your fiends and go visit a preschool. For more ideas also go to www.mailbox.com, the very best resource for early childhood teachers and You! You can buy their annual activity book for a years worth of excellent activities.
Summer's Here and My Very Own School is IN!
Circle or group time: Children sit together and the coach initiates a conversation about topics such as the weather, the calendar, the seasons, a field trip, or an upcoming holiday. Sometimes she leads a discussion about a special theme or group project. The children learn concepts of time and space and gain new vocabulary words.
Free choice: Children choose from a variety of different activities available in the classroom: block building, puzzles, dress-up, water or sand play, drawing, or painting. They initiate their own play, either alone or with other children. They learn how to work independently, take turns, share, and play cooperatively with others.
Group activity: During this time, children may learn a song or dance. They may participate in making up a story, preparing a meal, planning a village, or working on a science or art project. They practice new skills, develop fine motor control, learn how to communicate their ideas and needs effectively, and how to work together as a team.
Snack: As they eat, preschoolers learn social and practical skills: how to set the table, to pass the juice and crackers, to carry on a conversation.
Outdoor play: Climbing, running, jumping, bouncing balls, and crawling through tunnels helps children develop large muscle control, motor coordination, and balance.
Clean-up: As they clear the table or put away the blocks, children learn how to plan, organize, and work with others.
Story time: Children gather together in a comfortable corner of the room to listen as the coach tells a story or reads from a book. They look at the illustrations and discuss them. The teacher asks questions about the story, helping children to learn to predict what will happen next. She encourages them to think about the characters and plot and to use new vocabulary from the story.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Toddler Autonomy
As you baby grows, he will most surely enter the realm of independence and desire a level of autonomy needed to continue to grow.
Your toddler has not yet acquired all the skills necessary to function independently, which creates a whole lotta frustration within this little being who believes he’s ready to take on the world.
While their favorite word may become “no”, yours should not. Using “no” excessively only takes away the power of the word and encourages your tot to use it as freely. Creating space in your home that is a 100% free zone enables them to have fun in a safe setting, while allowing you to relax knowing that you won’t need to intervene every moment. Allow your child to make some decisions, no matter how wacky.
If she really wants to wear her purple boots and old Halloween costume while going to the grocery store, setting the limit that it can be worn to the store but must be removed by dinner allows your child to taste independence without dominating you in the process.
Furthermore, allowing your child days to express her growing independence by wearing mommy’s shoes while helping set the table or holding the dog’s leash as you return your pet to the backyard satisfies some of their hunger to be big! Remember, you are doing a great job and their budding desire to become their own little person is a reflection of their growing maturity.
A great read is Michelle LaRowe's Nanny to the rescue! Enjoy.
Your toddler has not yet acquired all the skills necessary to function independently, which creates a whole lotta frustration within this little being who believes he’s ready to take on the world.
While their favorite word may become “no”, yours should not. Using “no” excessively only takes away the power of the word and encourages your tot to use it as freely. Creating space in your home that is a 100% free zone enables them to have fun in a safe setting, while allowing you to relax knowing that you won’t need to intervene every moment. Allow your child to make some decisions, no matter how wacky.
If she really wants to wear her purple boots and old Halloween costume while going to the grocery store, setting the limit that it can be worn to the store but must be removed by dinner allows your child to taste independence without dominating you in the process.
Furthermore, allowing your child days to express her growing independence by wearing mommy’s shoes while helping set the table or holding the dog’s leash as you return your pet to the backyard satisfies some of their hunger to be big! Remember, you are doing a great job and their budding desire to become their own little person is a reflection of their growing maturity.
A great read is Michelle LaRowe's Nanny to the rescue! Enjoy.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Changing Newborn's Diaper: Essential Tips
You'd never guess that changing a baby's diaper could be a challenge until the day you change your first diaper. Baby wiggles and squiggles, you find the wipes are out of reach or you get a sweet shower from your newborn boy 'cause you didn't know to cover him up. Some babies do not like to be unclothed in the cool air and they cry with discomfort, others can't wait to get naked.
Here are a few essential tips if changing baby is a new skill for you.
To change your baby’s diaper:
• It’s best to wash your hands before changing your newborn’s diaper. Be sure to wash your hands with soap and water after each diaper change, too.
• Lay your baby on a clean surface. Take along a blanket or changing pad when you go out.
• Remove the dirty diaper.
• Use a washcloth dipped in clean, lukewarm water. Wash all the area on your baby that the diaper covers. Wipe from front to back to avoid infection.
• Every time you change a diaper, clean your baby’s umbilical cord. Use a cotton swab that you have dipped in rubbing alcohol. Squeeze it so that it is almost dry. Gently clean off the sticky stuff around the cord where it touches your baby’s tummy. The cord will fall off by itself in five to 10 days. Your baby may cry when you touch the wet swab to the cord. Be gentle.
Check with your doctor if your baby cries at other times when you touch the cord. Check with your doctor if the skin around the cord is red. If this advice is contrary to what your doctor has told you, do as your doctor says as every baby is different, your doctor knows you and your newborn best.
• When you put a clean diaper on your baby, fold the top to make the fit more secure. If you are using pins, put your hand between the pin and your baby’s skin. Do not let the diaper cover up the umbilical cord or belly button.
Newborns use about 10-12 diapers every day. Change them as soon as they are wet. This can prevent rashes. Have a place to put the soiled diapers and washcloths, best to wrap each soiled diaper separately in a baggie or plastic bag, this will control odor.
Remember, never take your hands off a newborn when changing them, safety first.
Here are a few essential tips if changing baby is a new skill for you.
To change your baby’s diaper:
• It’s best to wash your hands before changing your newborn’s diaper. Be sure to wash your hands with soap and water after each diaper change, too.
• Lay your baby on a clean surface. Take along a blanket or changing pad when you go out.
• Remove the dirty diaper.
• Use a washcloth dipped in clean, lukewarm water. Wash all the area on your baby that the diaper covers. Wipe from front to back to avoid infection.
• Every time you change a diaper, clean your baby’s umbilical cord. Use a cotton swab that you have dipped in rubbing alcohol. Squeeze it so that it is almost dry. Gently clean off the sticky stuff around the cord where it touches your baby’s tummy. The cord will fall off by itself in five to 10 days. Your baby may cry when you touch the wet swab to the cord. Be gentle.
Check with your doctor if your baby cries at other times when you touch the cord. Check with your doctor if the skin around the cord is red. If this advice is contrary to what your doctor has told you, do as your doctor says as every baby is different, your doctor knows you and your newborn best.
• When you put a clean diaper on your baby, fold the top to make the fit more secure. If you are using pins, put your hand between the pin and your baby’s skin. Do not let the diaper cover up the umbilical cord or belly button.
Newborns use about 10-12 diapers every day. Change them as soon as they are wet. This can prevent rashes. Have a place to put the soiled diapers and washcloths, best to wrap each soiled diaper separately in a baggie or plastic bag, this will control odor.
Remember, never take your hands off a newborn when changing them, safety first.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Your Baby's Reflexes
Instincts are powerful. Your baby is born with instinctive reflexes that assist in survival.
Here's a quick review of a few of your baby's reflexes, to help you marvel at your newborn.
• Moro or “startle” reflex: This occurs when your baby's head shifts position quickly. Or when her head falls backward. Or when your baby is startled by something loud. She will react by throwing out her arms and legs and extending her neck. Your baby will then quickly bring her arms together. She may cry when doing this. This reflex should go away after two months.
• Rooting reflex: This is how your baby hunts for her mother's breast. If you gently stroke the side of her cheek with your finger, she will turn her head toward your finger. This lasts for three to four months.
• Grasp reflex: Your baby will clench her fist around anything pressed into the palm of her hand. You can show this to a big brother or sister. Say, “The baby wants to hold on to your finger.” This reflex goes away at five to six months.
• Stepping reflex: If you hold a newborn baby upright under her arms with her feet on a hard surface, her feet will make a stepping action. This happens even though it is a long time before she is ready to stand or walk. This usually lasts a couple of months.
Ask your pediatrician if you have any questions about your baby's reflexes.
Here's a quick review of a few of your baby's reflexes, to help you marvel at your newborn.
• Moro or “startle” reflex: This occurs when your baby's head shifts position quickly. Or when her head falls backward. Or when your baby is startled by something loud. She will react by throwing out her arms and legs and extending her neck. Your baby will then quickly bring her arms together. She may cry when doing this. This reflex should go away after two months.
• Rooting reflex: This is how your baby hunts for her mother's breast. If you gently stroke the side of her cheek with your finger, she will turn her head toward your finger. This lasts for three to four months.
• Grasp reflex: Your baby will clench her fist around anything pressed into the palm of her hand. You can show this to a big brother or sister. Say, “The baby wants to hold on to your finger.” This reflex goes away at five to six months.
• Stepping reflex: If you hold a newborn baby upright under her arms with her feet on a hard surface, her feet will make a stepping action. This happens even though it is a long time before she is ready to stand or walk. This usually lasts a couple of months.
Ask your pediatrician if you have any questions about your baby's reflexes.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Live On The Bright Side In Your Relationship
Business is competitive, we all work hard, drive hard and live hard, BUT maybe it all doesn’t have to be this hard.
Having a successful career, successful relationships and an extraordinary life are complementary - All can be achieved. Get out of damage control and back into thriving relationships at work and at home with practical solutions that will change your life.
a. What Harvard says you can do to increase longevity and happiness
b. Three essential steps to successful relationships at work and home
c. The 5 Factor Makeover
Successful Relationships Lesson #1 – Live on the bright side.
Research shows that your viewpoint and attitude may impact your health, happiness and career success more than your genetics.
Successful Relationships Lesson #2– Choose your shoes. You choose what shoes you walk in, what path you take and who you take it with, be proactive not reactive and choose your shoes, don’t just wear any shoes someone offers you.
Successful Relationships Lesson #3– Learn how to push the STOP Button. Know when to stop yourself from making critical, demeaning, contemptuous and sarcastic comments. Edit yourself. People who avoid saying every critical thought when discussing touchy topics are consistently the happiest and most successful in their relationships.
Successful Relationships Lesson #4– Bored people are boring people.
If you aren’t sure what is interesting and intriguing about you, it’s time to find out. If you hear yourself say, I am tired of this job, life, relationship etc. it’s time to take charge, take a risk and make a change.
Successful Relationships Lesson #5– Forgiveness fosters health.
People often think that if they harbor anger it hurts the person they are angry with but anger only hurts you. People who let anger go and experience forgiveness experience less heart disease, anxiety and depression.
Having a successful career, successful relationships and an extraordinary life are complementary - All can be achieved. Get out of damage control and back into thriving relationships at work and at home with practical solutions that will change your life.
a. What Harvard says you can do to increase longevity and happiness
b. Three essential steps to successful relationships at work and home
c. The 5 Factor Makeover
Successful Relationships Lesson #1 – Live on the bright side.
Research shows that your viewpoint and attitude may impact your health, happiness and career success more than your genetics.
Successful Relationships Lesson #2– Choose your shoes. You choose what shoes you walk in, what path you take and who you take it with, be proactive not reactive and choose your shoes, don’t just wear any shoes someone offers you.
Successful Relationships Lesson #3– Learn how to push the STOP Button. Know when to stop yourself from making critical, demeaning, contemptuous and sarcastic comments. Edit yourself. People who avoid saying every critical thought when discussing touchy topics are consistently the happiest and most successful in their relationships.
Successful Relationships Lesson #4– Bored people are boring people.
If you aren’t sure what is interesting and intriguing about you, it’s time to find out. If you hear yourself say, I am tired of this job, life, relationship etc. it’s time to take charge, take a risk and make a change.
Successful Relationships Lesson #5– Forgiveness fosters health.
People often think that if they harbor anger it hurts the person they are angry with but anger only hurts you. People who let anger go and experience forgiveness experience less heart disease, anxiety and depression.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
My Very Own School @ Home
Many of the families with whom I work wish for their children to:
a) improve in-school behavior
b) develop better every-day routines
c) spend valuable enrichment time at home this summer
d) enjoy arts, crafts, games and play that will enhance learning
e) develop a summer schedule that adds enrichment to free play
Give your children ages 3-7 a Head-Start in school next year with our My Very Own School program. Our Family Coach, Dr. Lynne Kenney, teaches you how to bring school structure, art centers, music centers, nutrition, cooking, phonics, math, social studies and science into your home to help your children improve school performance, academic enrichment and school behavior for next year. Bring the success of school home for your children with this unique enrichment program.
1. Creating a school center in which learning can take place.
2. Writing a daily school schedule for the child.
3. Developing a curriculum that can be used within the schedule.
4. Establishing learning and enrichment goals.
5. Incorporating, play, art, music, and cooking to meet enrichment goals.
6. Organizing and labeling all enrichment materials.
7. Creating an organized activity closet for all enrichment items.
8. Providing brief written summary of work product and achievement toward goals.
Templates, tools and your own curriculum resources provided. Email at www.lynnekenney.com me to learn more.
a) improve in-school behavior
b) develop better every-day routines
c) spend valuable enrichment time at home this summer
d) enjoy arts, crafts, games and play that will enhance learning
e) develop a summer schedule that adds enrichment to free play
Give your children ages 3-7 a Head-Start in school next year with our My Very Own School program. Our Family Coach, Dr. Lynne Kenney, teaches you how to bring school structure, art centers, music centers, nutrition, cooking, phonics, math, social studies and science into your home to help your children improve school performance, academic enrichment and school behavior for next year. Bring the success of school home for your children with this unique enrichment program.
1. Creating a school center in which learning can take place.
2. Writing a daily school schedule for the child.
3. Developing a curriculum that can be used within the schedule.
4. Establishing learning and enrichment goals.
5. Incorporating, play, art, music, and cooking to meet enrichment goals.
6. Organizing and labeling all enrichment materials.
7. Creating an organized activity closet for all enrichment items.
8. Providing brief written summary of work product and achievement toward goals.
Templates, tools and your own curriculum resources provided. Email at www.lynnekenney.com me to learn more.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Spring Cleaning with Meryl Starr
Spring is here, finally. The days are longer and warmer and we are all looking forward to spending more time outside. Spring is a special time for me as its time for Spring Cleaning. For a Personal Organizer, Spring Cleaning is like Christmas, New Years and July 4th all wrapped up into one.
As I mention in the "To Do List" chapter of my book, The Personal Organizing Workbook, Spring is the perfect excuse to make a clean start. The following is a list of 10 easy ways to prepare of the season.
1) Scrub-a-dub-dub. It isn't called "spring cleaning" for nothing. Dust bunnies, cobwebs grime and dirt all have to go.
2) Glasswork. Wash your windows. Nothing brings in light like washing away that winter film.
3) Plant a Garden Now. Then, enjoy flowers, fresh herbs, and home-grown tomatoes this summer.
4) Research summer camps for the kids.
5) Make sure the air conditioner is up and running. Change the filter lately?
6) Cleaning Agents. Spring is the perfect time to get your carpets, rugs and upholstery cleaned by professionals.
7) Curtain Call. Replace the shower-curtain liner in your bathroom. Mold and mildew can build up and exacerbate allergies and asthma.
8) Keep a picnic basket and a blanket handy, so you can make the most of a sunny afternoon at a moment's notice.
9) Finish up those indoor projects you started and did not complete during the winter. Projects like painting your bedroom or organizing a box of photographs. Soon your attention will be outdoors and you will not revisit the indoor projects till October.
10) Waste Not. Don't forget to clean out your closets, drawers and cabinets. Mark two bins "keep" and "get rid of". Be cold, be heartless, be unforgiving. And don't forget to get a receipt when you donate your stuff to local charities.
I hope this list helps you to get the Spring Season off to an Organized start. In the meantime please look for me in April's issue of "Health Magazine" (page 118) on the newsstands now. In this article I tackle the subject of organizing your home office, most people's number one clutter zone.
Enjoy the warm weather,
All the best,
Meryl Starr
Personal Organizer
www.merylstarr.com
As I mention in the "To Do List" chapter of my book, The Personal Organizing Workbook, Spring is the perfect excuse to make a clean start. The following is a list of 10 easy ways to prepare of the season.
1) Scrub-a-dub-dub. It isn't called "spring cleaning" for nothing. Dust bunnies, cobwebs grime and dirt all have to go.
2) Glasswork. Wash your windows. Nothing brings in light like washing away that winter film.
3) Plant a Garden Now. Then, enjoy flowers, fresh herbs, and home-grown tomatoes this summer.
4) Research summer camps for the kids.
5) Make sure the air conditioner is up and running. Change the filter lately?
6) Cleaning Agents. Spring is the perfect time to get your carpets, rugs and upholstery cleaned by professionals.
7) Curtain Call. Replace the shower-curtain liner in your bathroom. Mold and mildew can build up and exacerbate allergies and asthma.
8) Keep a picnic basket and a blanket handy, so you can make the most of a sunny afternoon at a moment's notice.
9) Finish up those indoor projects you started and did not complete during the winter. Projects like painting your bedroom or organizing a box of photographs. Soon your attention will be outdoors and you will not revisit the indoor projects till October.
10) Waste Not. Don't forget to clean out your closets, drawers and cabinets. Mark two bins "keep" and "get rid of". Be cold, be heartless, be unforgiving. And don't forget to get a receipt when you donate your stuff to local charities.
I hope this list helps you to get the Spring Season off to an Organized start. In the meantime please look for me in April's issue of "Health Magazine" (page 118) on the newsstands now. In this article I tackle the subject of organizing your home office, most people's number one clutter zone.
Enjoy the warm weather,
All the best,
Meryl Starr
Personal Organizer
www.merylstarr.com
Sunday, April 6, 2008
I was a really good mom before I had kids
I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids -- "I don't know how she does it!" is an oft-heard refrain about mothers today. Funnily enough, most moms agree—they have no idea how they get it done, or whether they even want the job. Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile spoke to mothers of every stripe—working, stay-at-home, part-time—and found a surprisingly similar trend in their interviews. After enthusing about her lucky life for twenty minutes, a mother would then break down and admit that her child's first word was "Shrek." As one mom put it, "Am I happy? The word that describes me best is challenged." Fresh from the front lines of modern motherhood comes a book that uncovers the guilty secrets of moms today . . . in their own words. I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids recognizes the craziness and offers real solutions, so that mothers can step out of the madness and learn to love motherhood as much as they love their kids.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
The Family Schedule
A family schedule is a central component of establishing rhythm and routines in your family. Family schedules guide your child’s life to enhance predictability and mastery.
Do you have a family schedule? Do you know what happens in your family Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday?
It’s time to actually write your schedule out for all to see.
Start with a piece of paper or better yet, a piece of large cardboard. Draw out your family schedule. You might even go to a teacher's store and buy a school-sized schedule, they are so fun to mark up, write on and change over time.
Let’s begin with Monday, what does your day look like? Remember it's not the time that matters, it's the order of the activities, that's what establishes family rhythm.
• Time to wake-up, get dressed and go to school
• School-Time
• After-school Activity Time
• Homework-Time
• Dinner-Time
• Outdoor Play/Sports Time
• Reading-Time
• Bed-Time
Now for each day, write out your schedule.
Talk with your spouse and your kids about the family schedule. What does your schedule look like? Draw it out, hang it up and enjoy the structure and predictability it provides.
Do you have a family schedule? Do you know what happens in your family Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday?
It’s time to actually write your schedule out for all to see.
Start with a piece of paper or better yet, a piece of large cardboard. Draw out your family schedule. You might even go to a teacher's store and buy a school-sized schedule, they are so fun to mark up, write on and change over time.
Let’s begin with Monday, what does your day look like? Remember it's not the time that matters, it's the order of the activities, that's what establishes family rhythm.
• Time to wake-up, get dressed and go to school
• School-Time
• After-school Activity Time
• Homework-Time
• Dinner-Time
• Outdoor Play/Sports Time
• Reading-Time
• Bed-Time
Now for each day, write out your schedule.
Talk with your spouse and your kids about the family schedule. What does your schedule look like? Draw it out, hang it up and enjoy the structure and predictability it provides.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Spoiling Your Children
Spoiling your children is about avoiding the hard work of setting limits and boundaries. Listen in...
Your Family Mission: Secret #1 Raising Successful Children
We all want to raise happy successful children. But how do you go about it? You read books, watch videos, and talk with friends. But what is your plan? Do you have
a plan? We all spend much time thinking about and planning for the birth of our children but what is the plan for raising our children?
Applying principles that have been practiced in business by experts such as Michael Gerber, Stephen Covey and Dan Sullivan is a fine place to start.
If you have ever read First Things First by Stephen Covey or The Personal Organizing Workbook by Meryl Starr, you are likely well on your way to planning for and living in a successful family.
Here are five secrets from The Family Coach Playbook to begin developing your plan to raise successful children in a happy home.
Secret 1: Establish your family mission statement. That’s’ right. Every family needs one but few families have a written mission statement. Your family mission statement clarifies the kind of family you live in. Every family has a reason for being. You are most likely to raise successful children if you know exactly what your family mission is.
Let’s reflect on your mission for a moment.
• Do you have a mission?
• Were you raised in a family with a mission?
• When you reflect back, if your family mission was undefined, define it.
• What did your family stand for?
• What messages were communicated to you about what you did, how you did it and why you did it?
Take the time to talk with your spouse and your children about the kind of family you are and the kind of family you want to be.
• Why does your family exist?
• What kind of family do you want to be?
• What do you really care about?
• What really matters to you?
As parents, when you think about the kind of family you want to raise, why do you feel this way?
• Do you want to raise children who are respectful? Why?
• Do you want to raise children who value their education? Why?
• Do you want to live in a happy home? Why?
• Do you want to live in a peaceful home? Why?
• Do you want to live in an organized home? Why?
Take everyone’s viewpoint into consideration. Everyone’s original voice makes a valuable contribution to who you become as a family. Whether your children are ages 4, 9 or 15, talk with your children about what kind of family they want to be raised in.
Ask questions of your children to begin the dialogue:
• What kind of family do you want to live in?
• What kind of family do you want us to be?
• What kinds of activities do you want to do as a family?
• When your friends come over to play, what do you want them to see?
• How can we make our home a place your friends want to come to?
• What do you see in your friend’s homes that you wish we had or did here?
• How will our choices at home affect our choices at school?
• How will our choices at home affect our choices at dance class, chess club or on the soccer field?
Your family mission is the foundation of your family.
Take out a piece of paper, a large piece of cardboard or a marker board and draw out what matters to everyone. Let your children draw on it, scribble notes, draw pictures, make a model of your family home and design the kind of family you want to live in. This allows you to define your life rather than be lead by it.
When it comes time to write your mission statement down, use words, pictures, maps and notations. Then synthesize your family notes into one paragraph.
We are the kind of family who…
Here are a few examples written by real families like yours:
“The mission of our family is to provide a home environment that encourages honesty, fairness, respect and love. We work together to ensure that each member of our family feels important and has the support and the tools they need to reach their higher goals.”
“We reach out to others to promote respect for all people in our daily life.”
“We are a family that regards education as the foundation of success. Having reached our educational goals we will give back to others in order to share our success.”
Enjoy the process. Celebrate the discussion. Then post your family mission for all to see. Communicate often about the kind of family you are and how you behave reflects upon who you are as a family.
When family members exhibit behaviors that are contrary to your mission, gently remind them of the kind of family you are.
“James, you took your sister’s iPod without asking. In our family we respect one another’s property. How can you use her iPod and show your sister respect at the same time?”
“Sarah, you ignored your mom when she asked you to finish your homework. In our family we respect one another’s words, let’s try that again, in a way that shows your mom that you respect her request.”
In the next piece on Five Secrets To Raising Successful Children: The Family Coach Way, we will review Secret 2 - Establish your family values. So check back soon.
a plan? We all spend much time thinking about and planning for the birth of our children but what is the plan for raising our children?
Applying principles that have been practiced in business by experts such as Michael Gerber, Stephen Covey and Dan Sullivan is a fine place to start.
If you have ever read First Things First by Stephen Covey or The Personal Organizing Workbook by Meryl Starr, you are likely well on your way to planning for and living in a successful family.
Here are five secrets from The Family Coach Playbook to begin developing your plan to raise successful children in a happy home.
Secret 1: Establish your family mission statement. That’s’ right. Every family needs one but few families have a written mission statement. Your family mission statement clarifies the kind of family you live in. Every family has a reason for being. You are most likely to raise successful children if you know exactly what your family mission is.
Let’s reflect on your mission for a moment.
• Do you have a mission?
• Were you raised in a family with a mission?
• When you reflect back, if your family mission was undefined, define it.
• What did your family stand for?
• What messages were communicated to you about what you did, how you did it and why you did it?
Take the time to talk with your spouse and your children about the kind of family you are and the kind of family you want to be.
• Why does your family exist?
• What kind of family do you want to be?
• What do you really care about?
• What really matters to you?
As parents, when you think about the kind of family you want to raise, why do you feel this way?
• Do you want to raise children who are respectful? Why?
• Do you want to raise children who value their education? Why?
• Do you want to live in a happy home? Why?
• Do you want to live in a peaceful home? Why?
• Do you want to live in an organized home? Why?
Take everyone’s viewpoint into consideration. Everyone’s original voice makes a valuable contribution to who you become as a family. Whether your children are ages 4, 9 or 15, talk with your children about what kind of family they want to be raised in.
Ask questions of your children to begin the dialogue:
• What kind of family do you want to live in?
• What kind of family do you want us to be?
• What kinds of activities do you want to do as a family?
• When your friends come over to play, what do you want them to see?
• How can we make our home a place your friends want to come to?
• What do you see in your friend’s homes that you wish we had or did here?
• How will our choices at home affect our choices at school?
• How will our choices at home affect our choices at dance class, chess club or on the soccer field?
Your family mission is the foundation of your family.
Take out a piece of paper, a large piece of cardboard or a marker board and draw out what matters to everyone. Let your children draw on it, scribble notes, draw pictures, make a model of your family home and design the kind of family you want to live in. This allows you to define your life rather than be lead by it.
When it comes time to write your mission statement down, use words, pictures, maps and notations. Then synthesize your family notes into one paragraph.
We are the kind of family who…
Here are a few examples written by real families like yours:
“The mission of our family is to provide a home environment that encourages honesty, fairness, respect and love. We work together to ensure that each member of our family feels important and has the support and the tools they need to reach their higher goals.”
“We reach out to others to promote respect for all people in our daily life.”
“We are a family that regards education as the foundation of success. Having reached our educational goals we will give back to others in order to share our success.”
Enjoy the process. Celebrate the discussion. Then post your family mission for all to see. Communicate often about the kind of family you are and how you behave reflects upon who you are as a family.
When family members exhibit behaviors that are contrary to your mission, gently remind them of the kind of family you are.
“James, you took your sister’s iPod without asking. In our family we respect one another’s property. How can you use her iPod and show your sister respect at the same time?”
“Sarah, you ignored your mom when she asked you to finish your homework. In our family we respect one another’s words, let’s try that again, in a way that shows your mom that you respect her request.”
In the next piece on Five Secrets To Raising Successful Children: The Family Coach Way, we will review Secret 2 - Establish your family values. So check back soon.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Read, Read, Read Read more...with your children
Summer is approaching and you will spend hours and hours playing with your children. You'll drive them to playdates, take them to the pool, play in the sprinklers and make memories every day. This Summer, give your children a head up in school, read with them every day. Research shows that children who read with their parents do much better in school than children for whom reading is not a valued family activity.
After you have read a few pages or completed a book (depending on your child's attention span) extend the activity by talking about, drawing about or acting about the book, its characters and themes. Reading doesn't have to be just about the printed word, it is about how you bring the story to life!
Here are some of the top 25 books for children. Enjoy!
Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White
Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak
The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein
Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss
Good Night Moon by Margaret Wise Brown
I Love You Forever by Robert N. Munsch
Because of Winn Dixie by Kate DiCamillo
Oh! The Places You Will Go by Dr. Seuss
The Little House by Virginia Lee Burton
The Polar Express by Chris Van Allsburg
Skippyjon Jones by Judy Schachner
Thank You Mr. Falker by Patricia Polacco
The Cat In The Hat by Dr. Seuss
The Lorax by Dr. Seuss
The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo
The Mitten by Jan Brett
Crunching Carrots, Not Candy by Judy Slack
Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus by Mo Willlems
Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst
Are You My Mother? by P.D. Eastman
Corduroy by Don Freeman
Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse by Kevin Henkes
Stellaluna by Janell Cannon
For more books visit http://www.nea.org/readacross/resources/catalist.html.
After you have read a few pages or completed a book (depending on your child's attention span) extend the activity by talking about, drawing about or acting about the book, its characters and themes. Reading doesn't have to be just about the printed word, it is about how you bring the story to life!
Here are some of the top 25 books for children. Enjoy!
Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White
Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak
The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein
Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss
Good Night Moon by Margaret Wise Brown
I Love You Forever by Robert N. Munsch
Because of Winn Dixie by Kate DiCamillo
Oh! The Places You Will Go by Dr. Seuss
The Little House by Virginia Lee Burton
The Polar Express by Chris Van Allsburg
Skippyjon Jones by Judy Schachner
Thank You Mr. Falker by Patricia Polacco
The Cat In The Hat by Dr. Seuss
The Lorax by Dr. Seuss
The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo
The Mitten by Jan Brett
Crunching Carrots, Not Candy by Judy Slack
Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus by Mo Willlems
Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst
Are You My Mother? by P.D. Eastman
Corduroy by Don Freeman
Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse by Kevin Henkes
Stellaluna by Janell Cannon
For more books visit http://www.nea.org/readacross/resources/catalist.html.
My Very Own School @ Home
Give your children a Head-Start in school next year with our My Very Own School program. The Family Coach, Dr. Lynne Kenney, teaches you how to bring school structure, art centers, music centers, nutrition, cooking, phonics, math, social studies and science into your home to help your children improve school performance, academic enrichment and school behavior for next year. Bring the success of school home for your children with this unique enrichment program.
Creating A Personalized Program: Day 1
1. Evaluate children's current enrichment needs.
2. Develop personalized curriculum.
3. Establish learning and enrichment goals.
4. Plan for center development.
5. Determine learning templates, curriculum activities and time-frames.
Setting Up The Program: Day 2
1. Develop learning centers.
2. Create activity closets.
3. Write daily schedule.
4. Implement My Very Own School schedule and activities.
5. Choose parent, teacher or coach.
6. Finalize assessment and feedback forms.
Your family can use the My Very Own School Schedule to help organize each summer day to help the days run smoothly or you can implement My Very Own School as an activity in your home 4-8 hours per week. Either way, your children will love the activities, they'll feel confident about learning and you'll enjoy the experiences and memories you share.
Creating A Personalized Program: Day 1
1. Evaluate children's current enrichment needs.
2. Develop personalized curriculum.
3. Establish learning and enrichment goals.
4. Plan for center development.
5. Determine learning templates, curriculum activities and time-frames.
Setting Up The Program: Day 2
1. Develop learning centers.
2. Create activity closets.
3. Write daily schedule.
4. Implement My Very Own School schedule and activities.
5. Choose parent, teacher or coach.
6. Finalize assessment and feedback forms.
Your family can use the My Very Own School Schedule to help organize each summer day to help the days run smoothly or you can implement My Very Own School as an activity in your home 4-8 hours per week. Either way, your children will love the activities, they'll feel confident about learning and you'll enjoy the experiences and memories you share.
Abrakadoodle: Art For Children
Art is a critical component of early learning with children. Art enhances imagination, creativity and critical thinking skills. Research shows that math and science skills are also enhanced through art. With so many school districts moving art out of their curriculums enrichment at home is needed. A great resource for your family is Abrakadoodle, a national art enrichment program with exceptional programming, a cool blog and many activities you can do at home with your own children. Who's the little Matisse living in your home?
Everyone is an artist, visit Abrakadoodle to see how you can help your children discover art.
Consider this idea from the Abrakadoodle blog:
What color was your day?
Art can be introduced into your child’s life in so many fun ways! Color evokes powerful emotions in us all, and each of us perceives color in different ways. What’s fun is to find out how your child reacts to color as an individual. Forget the preconceived notions of what people are supposed to think about a certain color, which is commonly known as the psychology of color.
Co-create a color wheel, chart or box with your child. You can use the basic colors or add lots of additional colors, depending upon your child’s age and interest. Perhaps your child will want to color white paper to create a personalized palette. Once you have your colors organized, you can have some fun exploring them.
We traditionally greet our child after school with a “Hello, how was your day?” What if you changed this up and said, “Hi, what color was your day?” Instead of hearing the typical, “Fine,” “Ok,” “Boring,” “Hard,” etc, you could engage in a colorful conversation. Your child could use the color palette to express the color or colors of the day that best suits his or her experience. Maybe it was a purple day. The question is: what does that color mean to your son or daughter? So, you’ll have to ask questions, such as: “What made today a ‘red’ day?” Perhaps the day was more than one color, and that’s okay, too. As long as your child does not feel judged for his or her feelings about colors and emotions, then you can give your child yet another way to colorfully express him/herself and expand visual perception. It's also an imaginative way to show interest in your child.
Posted by Karin Machusic, Editor at 7:03 PM on Mar 4, 2008 http://abrakadoodle.blogspot.com/
Everyone is an artist, visit Abrakadoodle to see how you can help your children discover art.
Consider this idea from the Abrakadoodle blog:
What color was your day?
Art can be introduced into your child’s life in so many fun ways! Color evokes powerful emotions in us all, and each of us perceives color in different ways. What’s fun is to find out how your child reacts to color as an individual. Forget the preconceived notions of what people are supposed to think about a certain color, which is commonly known as the psychology of color.
Co-create a color wheel, chart or box with your child. You can use the basic colors or add lots of additional colors, depending upon your child’s age and interest. Perhaps your child will want to color white paper to create a personalized palette. Once you have your colors organized, you can have some fun exploring them.
We traditionally greet our child after school with a “Hello, how was your day?” What if you changed this up and said, “Hi, what color was your day?” Instead of hearing the typical, “Fine,” “Ok,” “Boring,” “Hard,” etc, you could engage in a colorful conversation. Your child could use the color palette to express the color or colors of the day that best suits his or her experience. Maybe it was a purple day. The question is: what does that color mean to your son or daughter? So, you’ll have to ask questions, such as: “What made today a ‘red’ day?” Perhaps the day was more than one color, and that’s okay, too. As long as your child does not feel judged for his or her feelings about colors and emotions, then you can give your child yet another way to colorfully express him/herself and expand visual perception. It's also an imaginative way to show interest in your child.
Posted by Karin Machusic, Editor at 7:03 PM on Mar 4, 2008 http://abrakadoodle.blogspot.com/
Saturday, March 29, 2008
In Defense of Food - An expert's review
Each month I eagerly await, Carol Kenney's health and nutrition newsletter. It is always informative and witty. This month Carol expanded on the history of foods and systems. I know you'll all enjoy her insights. Carol is a Board Certified Holistic Health Practitioner in New York City. Visit her at www.pathways4heath.com.
"Released at the start of this year, Michael Pollan’s In Defense of Food immediately climbed to the top of the New York Times’ Book Best Seller List. Amazing, really…a book about foods as “systems” reaching such heights. What can explain such success? Michael Pollan is funny and certainly his humor is a draw. But, I suspect his success goes beyond this.
“Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” Don’t you love it! Sometimes simple words work best to convey the most profound and most complex of ideas. Timing is everything, they say, and today these words seem to touch a common chord.
Some 30 years ago, Annemarie Colbin started describing foods as systems and our body as a system uniquely designed with just the right software to eat foods in their whole, not- fractured, form. This is the holistic lens: the whole is greater than the sum of the parts; the whole, as a system, works in mysterious and powerful ways, never to be fully understood by science through the “reductionist” lens of the microscope. How can you appreciate the flavor, aroma, and life-force energy and essence of a plump, juicy vine-ripen tomato by the listing of its vitamins, minerals, and calories? And, a tomato is not like a television…we cannot strip it down to all its minute parts and then reassemble it in all its complexity. Nature hides this magic and gives us no instruction book.
Annemarie Colbin’s Book of Whole Meals and Food and Healing long ago carried this holistic message. It was a message ripe before its time. After all, back then the food and advertising industries were just clicking into high gear to spread before us a rich panoply of freshly-invented products, drawing us in with convenience, novelty, price, and long shelf-lives. With each year, cheap, fractured convenience foods allowed us to spend less and less of our income at the supermarket and less and less of our time in the kitchen.
In recent decades, we have grown to expect “new” products to be interesting, fun, and innovative. Today, food advertising budgets of $32 billion annually help support the introduction of some 17,000 new fractured, processed, fortified “foods.” In reality, these are just “retreads” made to look new. They are largely blends reconfigured from our three main agricultural surplus crops…wheat, corn, and soy. Hidden in a variety of forms in these packaged, convenience foods, corn, wheat, and soy contribute 1580 calories per person to our daily food supply. There is little room for much else.
But the pendulum can swing only so far before it reverses direction. How exciting this year to see Michael Pollan bring the concept of foods as systems to mainstream thinking. Perhaps we are using a new lens to cut through the hype surrounding fast foods and convenience products to recognize that something is missing at the supermarket in terms of quality and lifestyle. As we see our nation, and increasingly the world, suffering more and more from allergies, obesity, diabetes, and a variety of other chronic diseases, we consumers seem more and more ready and open to start to look for causes. They are not hard to find.
To name just two: Wheat, corn, and soy, of course, are major allergens. Corn and soy are also two of the key crops that are genetically manipulated: 60% of all corn and 85% of all soybeans grown today in the United States are genetically engineered.
In Defense of Food is a fun read. And, Food and Healing continues to offer timeless truths, incredible depth, and great health-giving wisdom for any era."
"Released at the start of this year, Michael Pollan’s In Defense of Food immediately climbed to the top of the New York Times’ Book Best Seller List. Amazing, really…a book about foods as “systems” reaching such heights. What can explain such success? Michael Pollan is funny and certainly his humor is a draw. But, I suspect his success goes beyond this.
“Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” Don’t you love it! Sometimes simple words work best to convey the most profound and most complex of ideas. Timing is everything, they say, and today these words seem to touch a common chord.
Some 30 years ago, Annemarie Colbin started describing foods as systems and our body as a system uniquely designed with just the right software to eat foods in their whole, not- fractured, form. This is the holistic lens: the whole is greater than the sum of the parts; the whole, as a system, works in mysterious and powerful ways, never to be fully understood by science through the “reductionist” lens of the microscope. How can you appreciate the flavor, aroma, and life-force energy and essence of a plump, juicy vine-ripen tomato by the listing of its vitamins, minerals, and calories? And, a tomato is not like a television…we cannot strip it down to all its minute parts and then reassemble it in all its complexity. Nature hides this magic and gives us no instruction book.
Annemarie Colbin’s Book of Whole Meals and Food and Healing long ago carried this holistic message. It was a message ripe before its time. After all, back then the food and advertising industries were just clicking into high gear to spread before us a rich panoply of freshly-invented products, drawing us in with convenience, novelty, price, and long shelf-lives. With each year, cheap, fractured convenience foods allowed us to spend less and less of our income at the supermarket and less and less of our time in the kitchen.
In recent decades, we have grown to expect “new” products to be interesting, fun, and innovative. Today, food advertising budgets of $32 billion annually help support the introduction of some 17,000 new fractured, processed, fortified “foods.” In reality, these are just “retreads” made to look new. They are largely blends reconfigured from our three main agricultural surplus crops…wheat, corn, and soy. Hidden in a variety of forms in these packaged, convenience foods, corn, wheat, and soy contribute 1580 calories per person to our daily food supply. There is little room for much else.
But the pendulum can swing only so far before it reverses direction. How exciting this year to see Michael Pollan bring the concept of foods as systems to mainstream thinking. Perhaps we are using a new lens to cut through the hype surrounding fast foods and convenience products to recognize that something is missing at the supermarket in terms of quality and lifestyle. As we see our nation, and increasingly the world, suffering more and more from allergies, obesity, diabetes, and a variety of other chronic diseases, we consumers seem more and more ready and open to start to look for causes. They are not hard to find.
To name just two: Wheat, corn, and soy, of course, are major allergens. Corn and soy are also two of the key crops that are genetically manipulated: 60% of all corn and 85% of all soybeans grown today in the United States are genetically engineered.
In Defense of Food is a fun read. And, Food and Healing continues to offer timeless truths, incredible depth, and great health-giving wisdom for any era."
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Tuesday April 8th 2008 Next Angry Monster Class
Today's children experience frustration, anger, tantrums and meltdowns, it's a part of growing up. Learn how to teach your children ages 4-12 about cavemen and thinkers, evaluating the meaning of meltdowns and sensory interventions sure to bring peace to your home. Practice strategies and skills to tame those angry moments with The Family Coach Dr. Lynne Kenney. Parents only 6:30-7:45pm.
a. What is the angry monster
b. How can we use our thinkers to manage our cavemen
c. How exercise can make a difference
d. Sensory tools and equipment
e. Sensory gardens
Call Brie at 480-860-8488 to schedule.
a. What is the angry monster
b. How can we use our thinkers to manage our cavemen
c. How exercise can make a difference
d. Sensory tools and equipment
e. Sensory gardens
Call Brie at 480-860-8488 to schedule.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Taming Your Toddlers Tantrums
Don’t get too frustrated – tantrums are normal. Little guys and gals with a limited vocabulary need to act out their emotions. The first step to avoiding tantrums is understanding what causes them. There are several common reasons:
• Frustration: Toddlers are just beginning to need to have some control; but of course, most of their life is still out of their control. They want to be able to communicate, but their vocabulary is limited. They want to do things for themselves, but are often unable. They want to have things their way, but often can’t. All of these things create frustration, and cause tantrums.
• Feeling overwhelmed – Hunger, fatigue and discomfort can all make a child feel overwhelmed and cause tantrums.
• Needing attention – Toddlers often act out just because they don’t feel they’re getting enough attention. Try spending some more quality time playing with them and you may see an improvement in the number of tantrums.
The best way to deal with tantrums is to plan ahead, so that they never start. There are some fairly easy ways to prevent tantrums; here are a few to get you started.
• Don’t put them in stressful situations when they’re tired or hungry – Taking a toddler to run errands when he’s hungry is asking for trouble.
• Establish a routine – Toddlers thrive on routine, because knowing what to expect is comforting to them. Big activities like meals and naps should happen at about the same time each day. Be sure that your child is getting some interaction with other children, too. Playgroups or preschool are a big help, because your child learns that rules apply to everyone.
• Give them some control – Your child will respond positively to the opportunity to make some choices. Make them simple; such as choosing between cereal and a waffle for breakfast. The more you can create situations where your child feels in control, the less they’ll resist you.
Remember that tantrums are a phase you really can’t avoid. However, your response to them will, in part, determine how long you have to deal with them. Don’t give in to your toddler’s demands – that’s just teaching them that tantrums work!
Instead, redirect their behavior and don’t lose your cool. If you create situations that avoid tantrums, and you handle them effectively when they do occur, you can rest assured that your child will outgrow them.
For more help read: Nanny To The Rescue by Michelle LaRowe.
• Frustration: Toddlers are just beginning to need to have some control; but of course, most of their life is still out of their control. They want to be able to communicate, but their vocabulary is limited. They want to do things for themselves, but are often unable. They want to have things their way, but often can’t. All of these things create frustration, and cause tantrums.
• Feeling overwhelmed – Hunger, fatigue and discomfort can all make a child feel overwhelmed and cause tantrums.
• Needing attention – Toddlers often act out just because they don’t feel they’re getting enough attention. Try spending some more quality time playing with them and you may see an improvement in the number of tantrums.
The best way to deal with tantrums is to plan ahead, so that they never start. There are some fairly easy ways to prevent tantrums; here are a few to get you started.
• Don’t put them in stressful situations when they’re tired or hungry – Taking a toddler to run errands when he’s hungry is asking for trouble.
• Establish a routine – Toddlers thrive on routine, because knowing what to expect is comforting to them. Big activities like meals and naps should happen at about the same time each day. Be sure that your child is getting some interaction with other children, too. Playgroups or preschool are a big help, because your child learns that rules apply to everyone.
• Give them some control – Your child will respond positively to the opportunity to make some choices. Make them simple; such as choosing between cereal and a waffle for breakfast. The more you can create situations where your child feels in control, the less they’ll resist you.
Remember that tantrums are a phase you really can’t avoid. However, your response to them will, in part, determine how long you have to deal with them. Don’t give in to your toddler’s demands – that’s just teaching them that tantrums work!
Instead, redirect their behavior and don’t lose your cool. If you create situations that avoid tantrums, and you handle them effectively when they do occur, you can rest assured that your child will outgrow them.
For more help read: Nanny To The Rescue by Michelle LaRowe.
Tips for A Better Life - 2008
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today.'
5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.
14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.
18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
26. Forgive everyone for everything.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
28. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
29. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
30. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
31. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
33. Do the right thing!
34. Call your family often. (Or email them to death!!!) Hey I'm thinking of Ya! =)
35. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.
Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.
The day my close friend, Lisa told me she and her family were moving to snow country she sent this to me, it softened the blow. Are you living with Lisa's rules?
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today.'
5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.
14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.
18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
26. Forgive everyone for everything.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
28. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
29. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
30. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
31. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
33. Do the right thing!
34. Call your family often. (Or email them to death!!!) Hey I'm thinking of Ya! =)
35. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.
Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.
The day my close friend, Lisa told me she and her family were moving to snow country she sent this to me, it softened the blow. Are you living with Lisa's rules?
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Betsy Graham on Mealtime Matters
Houstonfamilymagazine.com quotes one of our favorite local experts Betsy Graham on feeding your children for health and wellness. Check it out:
Betsy Graham, M.A., of Mealtime Matters emphasizes another important factor: coming up with creative, fun ways to present food for kids. “Kids like to feel creative and active, whether helping prepare or eat foods,” says Graham. “Use cookie cutters to make cool shapes, include little containers of dipping sauces and dressings, find new ways to wrap foods.” Kids have short attention spans and like to stay interested. Although you don’t want to include too many choices and overwhelm them, you do want to break lunches down into smaller, interesting portions.
“Instead of including one giant sandwich and a whole apple,” illustrates Graham, “cut the apple into bite-size slices, include yogurt or a fun dip, and make sandwiches in little shapes.” “Stores like Costco and Sam’s Club sell in packs of hundreds two-ounce disposable containers with lids. These are perfect for dipping sauces, condiments and dressings,” adds Campbell.
Try these other ideas from Village Table and other meal-prep experts to create healthy lunches that your kids will enjoy:
* Tortilla roll-ups are always a big hit! Use whole wheat tortillas.
* Peanut butter and raisins mixed together and stored in a two-ounce disposable container makes a wonderful dip for celery or carrots!
* Cowboy or cowgirl beanies-n-weanies—mix your child’s favorite canned beans with pre-cooked, organic hot dogs. Kids won’t mind eating them cold if you remind them that cowboys and cowgirls don’t have stoves or ovens “out on the range.”
* Boiled eggs—chill and wrap in foil. Package alongside other cold items, such as frozen fruit boxes or frozen grapes. For kids who like edamame, this can be packed frozen, as well.
* Tuna sandwiches—use a two-ounce disposable container to store the tuna filling separately from the sandwich bread. Kids will enjoy assembling it at lunchtime and it keeps the sandwich from getting soggy. Remember to include a plastic spoon or knife.
* Cracker “melts” with chicken or turkey topped with melted cheese that has been firmed up by refrigeration.
* A “nutty apple”—a small apple with a Popsicle stick inserted, frosted with peanut butter, and then rolled in crushed granola or nuts and refrigerated to firm up.
Visit www.holistic.com for more ideas for packing healthy lunches. Also look for the Texas Department of Agriculture, Food and Nutrition Division’s upcoming flyer, Nutritious + Quick + Easy = School Meals That Pass the Test, and visit www.squaremeals.org to learn more about healthier snacks or foods for healthy eating. www.eatwellbewell.org is the Arizona Nutrition site for kids and families.
For children with eating challenges visit http://www.popsiclecenter.org/resources/index.asp.
Betsy Graham, M.A., of Mealtime Matters emphasizes another important factor: coming up with creative, fun ways to present food for kids. “Kids like to feel creative and active, whether helping prepare or eat foods,” says Graham. “Use cookie cutters to make cool shapes, include little containers of dipping sauces and dressings, find new ways to wrap foods.” Kids have short attention spans and like to stay interested. Although you don’t want to include too many choices and overwhelm them, you do want to break lunches down into smaller, interesting portions.
“Instead of including one giant sandwich and a whole apple,” illustrates Graham, “cut the apple into bite-size slices, include yogurt or a fun dip, and make sandwiches in little shapes.” “Stores like Costco and Sam’s Club sell in packs of hundreds two-ounce disposable containers with lids. These are perfect for dipping sauces, condiments and dressings,” adds Campbell.
Try these other ideas from Village Table and other meal-prep experts to create healthy lunches that your kids will enjoy:
* Tortilla roll-ups are always a big hit! Use whole wheat tortillas.
* Peanut butter and raisins mixed together and stored in a two-ounce disposable container makes a wonderful dip for celery or carrots!
* Cowboy or cowgirl beanies-n-weanies—mix your child’s favorite canned beans with pre-cooked, organic hot dogs. Kids won’t mind eating them cold if you remind them that cowboys and cowgirls don’t have stoves or ovens “out on the range.”
* Boiled eggs—chill and wrap in foil. Package alongside other cold items, such as frozen fruit boxes or frozen grapes. For kids who like edamame, this can be packed frozen, as well.
* Tuna sandwiches—use a two-ounce disposable container to store the tuna filling separately from the sandwich bread. Kids will enjoy assembling it at lunchtime and it keeps the sandwich from getting soggy. Remember to include a plastic spoon or knife.
* Cracker “melts” with chicken or turkey topped with melted cheese that has been firmed up by refrigeration.
* A “nutty apple”—a small apple with a Popsicle stick inserted, frosted with peanut butter, and then rolled in crushed granola or nuts and refrigerated to firm up.
Visit www.holistic.com for more ideas for packing healthy lunches. Also look for the Texas Department of Agriculture, Food and Nutrition Division’s upcoming flyer, Nutritious + Quick + Easy = School Meals That Pass the Test, and visit www.squaremeals.org to learn more about healthier snacks or foods for healthy eating. www.eatwellbewell.org is the Arizona Nutrition site for kids and families.
For children with eating challenges visit http://www.popsiclecenter.org/resources/index.asp.
Friday, March 14, 2008
ADHD Executive Function Deficits and Meditation
"A UCLA study shows that only about half of children diagnosed with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD, exhibit the cognitive defects commonly associated with the condition.
The study also found that in populations where medication is rarely prescribed to treat ADHD, the prevalence and symptoms of the disorder are roughly equivalent to populations in which medication is widely used.
The results of the first large, longitudinal study of adolescents and ADHD, conducted among the population of northern Finland, appeared in several papers in a special section of the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry published in December and are currently online.
ADHD is a common, chronic behavioral disorder characterized by inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity that is thought to affect some 5 to 10 percent of school-age children worldwide.
In adolescence, ADHD is generally associated with cognitive deficits, particularly with working memory and inhibition, which have been linked to overall intelligence and academic achievement, according to UCLA psychiatry professor Susan Smalley, who headed the research. Interestingly, the study showed that these deficits are only present in about half of adolescents diagnosed with ADHD.
Part of the explanation may lie in the common method for diagnosing the disorder. The researchers found that ADHD is an extreme on a normal continuum of behavior that varies in the population, much like height, weight or IQ. Its diagnosis, and thus its prevalence, is defined by where health professionals "draw the line" on this continuum, based on the severity of the symptoms and overall impairment.
However, children with cognitive deficits do not show increased levels of inattention or hyperactivity when compared with other children diagnosed with ADHD, the study found, suggesting that behavior-rating scales alone are not sensitive enough to differentiate between the two groups. Additional psychological testing is recommended to confirm the presence of cognitive impairments."
This is why we often refer the children in our practice for a brief Neuropsychological assessment with a board certified child neuropsychologist. These evaluations are important in recommending a course of intervention. Some children may benefit from executive brain function training others may be subject to misdiagnosis, others may be twice gifted. Children really do come in all shapes and sizes and it is central to their well-being that we learn as much about them as possible to provide them with what they need.
Curiously, we also regard interventions such as mindfulness training, meditation and yoga to be important aspects of intervention for ADHD.
Read what researcher Dr. Susan Smalley has to say about meditation on her thoughtful blog. www.huffingtonpost.com/susan-smalley/medication-or-meditation-_b_14839.html
Then visit www.drthomasebrown.com and read about current research on brain development and ADHD as well. Happy learning.
The study also found that in populations where medication is rarely prescribed to treat ADHD, the prevalence and symptoms of the disorder are roughly equivalent to populations in which medication is widely used.
The results of the first large, longitudinal study of adolescents and ADHD, conducted among the population of northern Finland, appeared in several papers in a special section of the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry published in December and are currently online.
ADHD is a common, chronic behavioral disorder characterized by inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity that is thought to affect some 5 to 10 percent of school-age children worldwide.
In adolescence, ADHD is generally associated with cognitive deficits, particularly with working memory and inhibition, which have been linked to overall intelligence and academic achievement, according to UCLA psychiatry professor Susan Smalley, who headed the research. Interestingly, the study showed that these deficits are only present in about half of adolescents diagnosed with ADHD.
Part of the explanation may lie in the common method for diagnosing the disorder. The researchers found that ADHD is an extreme on a normal continuum of behavior that varies in the population, much like height, weight or IQ. Its diagnosis, and thus its prevalence, is defined by where health professionals "draw the line" on this continuum, based on the severity of the symptoms and overall impairment.
However, children with cognitive deficits do not show increased levels of inattention or hyperactivity when compared with other children diagnosed with ADHD, the study found, suggesting that behavior-rating scales alone are not sensitive enough to differentiate between the two groups. Additional psychological testing is recommended to confirm the presence of cognitive impairments."
This is why we often refer the children in our practice for a brief Neuropsychological assessment with a board certified child neuropsychologist. These evaluations are important in recommending a course of intervention. Some children may benefit from executive brain function training others may be subject to misdiagnosis, others may be twice gifted. Children really do come in all shapes and sizes and it is central to their well-being that we learn as much about them as possible to provide them with what they need.
Curiously, we also regard interventions such as mindfulness training, meditation and yoga to be important aspects of intervention for ADHD.
Read what researcher Dr. Susan Smalley has to say about meditation on her thoughtful blog. www.huffingtonpost.com/susan-smalley/medication-or-meditation-_b_14839.html
Then visit www.drthomasebrown.com and read about current research on brain development and ADHD as well. Happy learning.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Protein and Children
Yesterday at the Dietary Conference of the Arizona Department of Health Services we had a great discussion on how much protein our children need each day.
As a general rule, between 10 percent and 15 percent of your total calories should come from protein. So, as an adult, if you consume 2,000 calories per day, at least 200 should come from protein, or about 50 grams.
You should try to eat around one gram of protein per one kilogram of body weight, or around 0.4 grams per pound. An easier way to figure this out in your head is to take your weight, divide it in half, and subtract 10.
How does this apply to children. Protein requirements depend on a child's age and weight. For example, the average 4-6 year old preschooler requires about 22 grams of protein a day, while an older 7-10 year old requires about 28 grams of protein a day.
Many children eat sugary foods such as cereal and pop tarts for breakfast when they really would benefit better from a serving of protein with a complex carbohydrate for breakfast. Good Sources of protein include:
Milk
Soy Milk
Eggs
Cheese
Yogurt
Peanut Butter
Lean Meats, Fish, and Poultry
Beans, Tofu, Lentils, and other Legumes
Whole grains, including bread and pasta
Nuts and Seeds
So for breakfast consider serving:
Peanut butter on sliced apples or Asian pears
Almond butter on whole grain toast
whole grain cereal with organic skim milk
Chicken and brown rice with small pieces of cooked vegetables such as carrots or asparagus
Mixed berries with organic yogurt
Buckwheat pancakes with bananas or berries
Melted cheese on whole grain toast
Organic macaroni and cheese
Turkey meatballs with organic tomato sauce
It's easy and fun to feed children protein to fuel their school days, consider reading:
Lunch Lessons: Changing the Way We Feed Our Children by Ann Cooper, Lisa M. Holmes, Mehmet C. Oz.
The Healthy Lunchbox by American Diabetes Association, Marie McClendon, Cristy Shauck, Marie McClendon, Cristy Shauck
http://www.chefann.com/blog/
http://www.eatwellbewell.org/
http://www.angrymoms.org/
As a general rule, between 10 percent and 15 percent of your total calories should come from protein. So, as an adult, if you consume 2,000 calories per day, at least 200 should come from protein, or about 50 grams.
You should try to eat around one gram of protein per one kilogram of body weight, or around 0.4 grams per pound. An easier way to figure this out in your head is to take your weight, divide it in half, and subtract 10.
How does this apply to children. Protein requirements depend on a child's age and weight. For example, the average 4-6 year old preschooler requires about 22 grams of protein a day, while an older 7-10 year old requires about 28 grams of protein a day.
Many children eat sugary foods such as cereal and pop tarts for breakfast when they really would benefit better from a serving of protein with a complex carbohydrate for breakfast. Good Sources of protein include:
Milk
Soy Milk
Eggs
Cheese
Yogurt
Peanut Butter
Lean Meats, Fish, and Poultry
Beans, Tofu, Lentils, and other Legumes
Whole grains, including bread and pasta
Nuts and Seeds
So for breakfast consider serving:
Peanut butter on sliced apples or Asian pears
Almond butter on whole grain toast
whole grain cereal with organic skim milk
Chicken and brown rice with small pieces of cooked vegetables such as carrots or asparagus
Mixed berries with organic yogurt
Buckwheat pancakes with bananas or berries
Melted cheese on whole grain toast
Organic macaroni and cheese
Turkey meatballs with organic tomato sauce
It's easy and fun to feed children protein to fuel their school days, consider reading:
Lunch Lessons: Changing the Way We Feed Our Children by Ann Cooper, Lisa M. Holmes, Mehmet C. Oz.
The Healthy Lunchbox by American Diabetes Association, Marie McClendon, Cristy Shauck, Marie McClendon, Cristy Shauck
http://www.chefann.com/blog/
http://www.eatwellbewell.org/
http://www.angrymoms.org/
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Low Glycemic Carbohydrates
We had a great talk last night at the Picky Eaters Class at North Scottsdale Pediatrics. You parents really are amazing!
Here is list of low glycemic carbohydrates to serve with protein in the morning to get your children off to a healthy start. Combing two ounces of protein with one serving of complex carbohydrates is just what your kids need to study and thrive in school all day. Add a few slices of Asian Pear or 1/2 cup fresh berries to the plate. Happy eating for health and wellness!
Beans (Garbanzo, Pinto, Kidney, White), 1/3 cup
Bread (Whole-wheat, Multi-grain, Pumpernickel, Rye, Sourdough, Oatmeal), 1 slice
Corn, 1/2 cup
Couscous (cooked), 1/3 cup
Crackers (whole-grain), 3/4 oz
Oatmeal (cooked), 1/2 cup
Pasta (cooked al dente), 1/2 cup
Peas (green), 1/2 cup
Peas (split, black-eyed), 1/3 cup
Pita (whole-grain, 6 inch), 1/2
Rice (cooked, brown), 1/3 cup
Roll (whole-grain, small), 1
Sweet Potatoes, Yams, 1/3 cup
Here is list of low glycemic carbohydrates to serve with protein in the morning to get your children off to a healthy start. Combing two ounces of protein with one serving of complex carbohydrates is just what your kids need to study and thrive in school all day. Add a few slices of Asian Pear or 1/2 cup fresh berries to the plate. Happy eating for health and wellness!
Beans (Garbanzo, Pinto, Kidney, White), 1/3 cup
Bread (Whole-wheat, Multi-grain, Pumpernickel, Rye, Sourdough, Oatmeal), 1 slice
Corn, 1/2 cup
Couscous (cooked), 1/3 cup
Crackers (whole-grain), 3/4 oz
Oatmeal (cooked), 1/2 cup
Pasta (cooked al dente), 1/2 cup
Peas (green), 1/2 cup
Peas (split, black-eyed), 1/3 cup
Pita (whole-grain, 6 inch), 1/2
Rice (cooked, brown), 1/3 cup
Roll (whole-grain, small), 1
Sweet Potatoes, Yams, 1/3 cup
Monday, March 10, 2008
Model Behavior - Lead By Example
Following our conscience can be tough at any age. But, for children, whose conscience is still developing, it can be a real challenge. So, how can you help your child do the right thing when faced with a dilemma? Here are some helpful hints to get (and keep) your child on the right track.
• Lead by example – We all have situations that require us to make moral decisions. When these situations arise, make sure you’re doing the right thing yourself, and make sure to talk about it with your kids. I’m not talking about tooting your own horn. But, if you’re in a sticky situation and your child is aware of it, letting them know that you had a choice to make – and that the choice was difficult, will help them to think through situations when they arise. If they see you taking the moral high ground, they’ll be much more likely to do so as well.
• Teach empathy – Let your children see situations that help them develop empathy. We’re often so consumed with providing a good life for our children, that we fail to show our children that not everyone has it as good. Why not spend part of this Thanksgiving serving meals at a soup kitchen? Or helping out with Toys for Tots this Christmas? When your children develop empathy for others, they’re more likely to consider how their decisions might hurt other people. This gives them that little “voice” that helps them do the right thing.
• Praise Positive Behavior - When you witness your child doing the right thing, point it out. Sharing their toys, cleaning up a mess they made without being told, and following the rules at home without complaint are all situations that deserve your praise. If you make your children feel good about doing the right thing, they’ll want to do it.
• Have Appropriate Consequences for Not Doing the Right Thing – Sometimes, when your children choose not to do the right thing, the results include lying, cheating and stealing. These behaviors should be addressed with consequences that they’ll remember. Don’t cover up for your child help him be accountable.
For instance, if you catch your child stealing, you should make him return the item to the owner at once, and fess up to what he did as part of the punishment. It’s likely that having to own up to what he did will teach him a lesson he’ll never forget.
It is possible to raise empathetic, sympathetic and caring kids in today’s self absorbed world. It just takes some attention, calm and caring on your part.
• Lead by example – We all have situations that require us to make moral decisions. When these situations arise, make sure you’re doing the right thing yourself, and make sure to talk about it with your kids. I’m not talking about tooting your own horn. But, if you’re in a sticky situation and your child is aware of it, letting them know that you had a choice to make – and that the choice was difficult, will help them to think through situations when they arise. If they see you taking the moral high ground, they’ll be much more likely to do so as well.
• Teach empathy – Let your children see situations that help them develop empathy. We’re often so consumed with providing a good life for our children, that we fail to show our children that not everyone has it as good. Why not spend part of this Thanksgiving serving meals at a soup kitchen? Or helping out with Toys for Tots this Christmas? When your children develop empathy for others, they’re more likely to consider how their decisions might hurt other people. This gives them that little “voice” that helps them do the right thing.
• Praise Positive Behavior - When you witness your child doing the right thing, point it out. Sharing their toys, cleaning up a mess they made without being told, and following the rules at home without complaint are all situations that deserve your praise. If you make your children feel good about doing the right thing, they’ll want to do it.
• Have Appropriate Consequences for Not Doing the Right Thing – Sometimes, when your children choose not to do the right thing, the results include lying, cheating and stealing. These behaviors should be addressed with consequences that they’ll remember. Don’t cover up for your child help him be accountable.
For instance, if you catch your child stealing, you should make him return the item to the owner at once, and fess up to what he did as part of the punishment. It’s likely that having to own up to what he did will teach him a lesson he’ll never forget.
It is possible to raise empathetic, sympathetic and caring kids in today’s self absorbed world. It just takes some attention, calm and caring on your part.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Begin the New Year with a New Skill
It takes about ten minutes a day to develop a new skill. Just add it up. 10 minutes a day times, let's say 300 days a year, that's enough to be pretty good at something.
Learning a new skill is fun for you and sets a great example for your kids. Take a pottery class at your local community college, learn to rollerblade, try your hand at knitting, pick up a guitar, dance a jig – it doesn’t matter what it is, just give it a shot.
If you don’t like it, fine. You don’t have to do it again. If you find you do like it, though, you can keep at it and perhaps develop it into a hobby or favorite pastime.
You do a great job of helping your kids develop and learn new things - but what about you? When was the last time you learned a new skill? It’s easy to overlook our own need for challenge, learning, and yes, fun.
Learning a new skill is fun for you and sets a great example for your kids. Take a pottery class at your local community college, learn to rollerblade, try your hand at knitting, pick up a guitar, dance a jig – it doesn’t matter what it is, just give it a shot.
If you don’t like it, fine. You don’t have to do it again. If you find you do like it, though, you can keep at it and perhaps develop it into a hobby or favorite pastime.
You do a great job of helping your kids develop and learn new things - but what about you? When was the last time you learned a new skill? It’s easy to overlook our own need for challenge, learning, and yes, fun.
Hey Mom! Spring Is Time To Learn A New Skill
You do a great job of helping your kids develop and learn new things - but what about you? When was the last time you learned a new skill? It’s easy to overlook your own need for challenge, learning, and yes, fun.
It takes about ten minutes a day to develop a new skill. Just add it up. Ten minutes a day, times let's say 300 days a year, that's enough to be pretty good at something.
Learning a new skill is fun for you and sets a great example for your kids. Take a pottery class at your local community college, learn to rollerblade, try your hand at knitting, piano, guitar or jazz music – it doesn’t matter what it is, just give it a shot. If you don’t like it, fine. You don’t have to do it again, congratulate yourself for daring to try. If you find you do like it, though, you can keep at it and perhaps develop it into a hobby or favorite pastime.
Take the plunge! Learn something new.
It takes about ten minutes a day to develop a new skill. Just add it up. Ten minutes a day, times let's say 300 days a year, that's enough to be pretty good at something.
Learning a new skill is fun for you and sets a great example for your kids. Take a pottery class at your local community college, learn to rollerblade, try your hand at knitting, piano, guitar or jazz music – it doesn’t matter what it is, just give it a shot. If you don’t like it, fine. You don’t have to do it again, congratulate yourself for daring to try. If you find you do like it, though, you can keep at it and perhaps develop it into a hobby or favorite pastime.
Take the plunge! Learn something new.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Time To Keep A Journal
There's no better time than the beginning of the year to create a journal.
Journaling is an excellent way to carve out some “me” time when you can think, ponder, and express yourself. It doesn’t have to be a long time – just five or ten minutes is enough. And you don’t need a fancy leather-bound journal; a simple spiral notebook works just fine.
Start each entry with the date and time, and then write about whatever is most on your mind. You might want to describe your feelings, your frustrations, your joys or your sorrows. Over time, you can look back at your entries as points of reference for yourself.
For example, you may see a pattern of feelings that occur in certain situations, or you may use it as a record of your fitness activities.
Write notes to your children, collect little stickies, magazine articles, school-work or songs and keep them in your journal. Your journal is one of your best sources of self-expression.
If you are having difficulty knowing where to begin start with these ideas:
Everyday thoughts
What I did to maintain my health
Negative habits I avoided
Things I did well today
What I want to do more of
Skills I wish to develop
What I want to invest my energy in
What I want to invest my money in
What I want to invest my time in
How I can show my children I love them more
How I can show my husband I love him more
Regardless of how you approach your journaling, writing is an excellent outlet for you. Start today and make time for a journal – you’ll be glad you did.
Journaling is an excellent way to carve out some “me” time when you can think, ponder, and express yourself. It doesn’t have to be a long time – just five or ten minutes is enough. And you don’t need a fancy leather-bound journal; a simple spiral notebook works just fine.
Start each entry with the date and time, and then write about whatever is most on your mind. You might want to describe your feelings, your frustrations, your joys or your sorrows. Over time, you can look back at your entries as points of reference for yourself.
For example, you may see a pattern of feelings that occur in certain situations, or you may use it as a record of your fitness activities.
Write notes to your children, collect little stickies, magazine articles, school-work or songs and keep them in your journal. Your journal is one of your best sources of self-expression.
If you are having difficulty knowing where to begin start with these ideas:
Everyday thoughts
What I did to maintain my health
Negative habits I avoided
Things I did well today
What I want to do more of
Skills I wish to develop
What I want to invest my energy in
What I want to invest my money in
What I want to invest my time in
How I can show my children I love them more
How I can show my husband I love him more
Regardless of how you approach your journaling, writing is an excellent outlet for you. Start today and make time for a journal – you’ll be glad you did.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Put Family Fun on the Calendar
The New Year is a great time to plan your Extraordinary Family Fun for the entire year. Take one of those calendars you received for the holidays and plan out family activities for the coming year.
Begin by placing all your family birthdays on the calendar. Talk with your children about how they wish to spend their birthday and have some fun researching birthday party ideas - just the two of you.
Visit the online calendar for your local newspaper and write down cool events and happenings.
Take your school calendar and write down all the holidays.
Celebrate with Friday is Family Date Night and assign date nights between one parent and one child, the other parent, grandmother, or relative can cozy up with the remaining children for a group date. This fosters nurturance and attachment with your children as you schedule these special relationship moments for your family.
Get hip and put community events, art classes, cooking classes and freebees on the calendar today!
Visit the following resources for more ideas:
http://www.dailycandy.com/
http://www.cardfountain.com/printable_calendars/fun1.php
http://familyfun.go.com/printables/
Begin by placing all your family birthdays on the calendar. Talk with your children about how they wish to spend their birthday and have some fun researching birthday party ideas - just the two of you.
Visit the online calendar for your local newspaper and write down cool events and happenings.
Take your school calendar and write down all the holidays.
Celebrate with Friday is Family Date Night and assign date nights between one parent and one child, the other parent, grandmother, or relative can cozy up with the remaining children for a group date. This fosters nurturance and attachment with your children as you schedule these special relationship moments for your family.
Get hip and put community events, art classes, cooking classes and freebees on the calendar today!
Visit the following resources for more ideas:
http://www.dailycandy.com/
http://www.cardfountain.com/printable_calendars/fun1.php
http://familyfun.go.com/printables/
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Picky Eater Tips and Tricks
Okay, step away from the cookie.
The holidays are over and this means bringing your whole family back to healthier eating habits.
Yes, even your picky toddler. Toddlers are notoriously picky eaters who often choose 1-2 foods for weeks at a time. Offering a variety of healthy choices empowers your tot to choose a more nutritious route. Remember toddlers are grazers so respect their tiny tummies.
Here are a few ways to tantalize your picky tot:
1. Keep small containers of all sorts of mixed goodies including chopped veggies and fruit at eye level in the fridge.
2. Allowing him to dip his bite-sized broccoli into a less than healthy dipping sauce might also encourage bold tasting behavior.
Caramel, jelly, cheeses and dressing may do the trick.
3. Be patient. It will take some time before your child gets used to the variety of flavors and textures that different foods provide.
4. Introduce new foods in between a bite of old favorites.
5. A bite of a high texture food such as peas may go down easier with a teaspoon of vanilla yogurt before and after.
6. Pay attention to how your tot responds to different textures, some kids show a preference for smooth, chewy or crunchy textures.
7. Be flexible and stay patient your child’s journey into the realm of new foods can be exhilarating.
While our New Years resolutions often revolve around diet and exercise,
modeling healthy habits throughout the year will help your picky toddler grow.
The holidays are over and this means bringing your whole family back to healthier eating habits.
Yes, even your picky toddler. Toddlers are notoriously picky eaters who often choose 1-2 foods for weeks at a time. Offering a variety of healthy choices empowers your tot to choose a more nutritious route. Remember toddlers are grazers so respect their tiny tummies.
Here are a few ways to tantalize your picky tot:
1. Keep small containers of all sorts of mixed goodies including chopped veggies and fruit at eye level in the fridge.
2. Allowing him to dip his bite-sized broccoli into a less than healthy dipping sauce might also encourage bold tasting behavior.
Caramel, jelly, cheeses and dressing may do the trick.
3. Be patient. It will take some time before your child gets used to the variety of flavors and textures that different foods provide.
4. Introduce new foods in between a bite of old favorites.
5. A bite of a high texture food such as peas may go down easier with a teaspoon of vanilla yogurt before and after.
6. Pay attention to how your tot responds to different textures, some kids show a preference for smooth, chewy or crunchy textures.
7. Be flexible and stay patient your child’s journey into the realm of new foods can be exhilarating.
While our New Years resolutions often revolve around diet and exercise,
modeling healthy habits throughout the year will help your picky toddler grow.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Children's Supplements
Some moms have been asking what supplements to consider for their children.
Some pediatricians will say that nutrients are best found in food not supplements.
That is true but with high levels of corn, petroleum and pesticides in foods, if your children aren't eating whole foods you may want to consider some vitamins such as Nordic Naturals makes omega 3,6,9 and DHA formulas as well as a decent tasting multi for enhancement of biological assimilation.
Nordic Berries, Omega 3,6,9 junior and DHA junior are available at Wild Oats and Sprouts.
Happy Eating!
Some pediatricians will say that nutrients are best found in food not supplements.
That is true but with high levels of corn, petroleum and pesticides in foods, if your children aren't eating whole foods you may want to consider some vitamins such as Nordic Naturals makes omega 3,6,9 and DHA formulas as well as a decent tasting multi for enhancement of biological assimilation.
Nordic Berries, Omega 3,6,9 junior and DHA junior are available at Wild Oats and Sprouts.
Happy Eating!
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Don't skip breakfast
Think gasoline prices are high? The cost of not fueling your body in the morning is much higher.
During childhood we were all told time and again that breakfast is one meal not to be skipped.
Now as moms ourselves, it’s necessary to set a good example regarding the importance of breakfast.
It is essential to get the nutrients and vitamins our bodies need in order to seize the day.
While our bodies need plenty of sleep, getting up 10 minutes earlier in the morning to eat breakfast will improve your academic or professional performance more than those 10 additional minutes of sleep. If still short on time, grab a fast break snack bag filled with fruit, cereal, raisins, or granola to ignite your system.
Weight control starts with your first healthy meal of the day.
Miss breakfast? Miss losing pounds.
Studies show that your child’s ability to perform in school is greatly enhanced when a nourishing breakfast is offered at the start of each day.
Concentration, behavior, hand-eye coordination, and of course, energy, are all propelled by ingesting a hearty meal.
As individuals, we need the energy gained from breakfast to enable us to make it through our chaotic days.
As parents, we need to ensure the same is supplied to our children.
During childhood we were all told time and again that breakfast is one meal not to be skipped.
Now as moms ourselves, it’s necessary to set a good example regarding the importance of breakfast.
It is essential to get the nutrients and vitamins our bodies need in order to seize the day.
While our bodies need plenty of sleep, getting up 10 minutes earlier in the morning to eat breakfast will improve your academic or professional performance more than those 10 additional minutes of sleep. If still short on time, grab a fast break snack bag filled with fruit, cereal, raisins, or granola to ignite your system.
Weight control starts with your first healthy meal of the day.
Miss breakfast? Miss losing pounds.
Studies show that your child’s ability to perform in school is greatly enhanced when a nourishing breakfast is offered at the start of each day.
Concentration, behavior, hand-eye coordination, and of course, energy, are all propelled by ingesting a hearty meal.
As individuals, we need the energy gained from breakfast to enable us to make it through our chaotic days.
As parents, we need to ensure the same is supplied to our children.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Model Marriage
What does your marriage teach your children? Is your marriage an example of love and respect or one of disharmony and suspicion? Take a good hard look at what your marriage teaches your children. It’s extremely important for your child’s own future marriage.
Children learn what marriage is all about from watching their parents. They learn what’s ok and not ok with regard to how to treat a spouse. They learn how they can expect a spouse to treat them. They can learn that marriage is a union that provides support, love and comfort or they learn that marriage is full of fighting and breaking of spirit.
Studies show that children whose parents divorce are more likely to divorce themselves. If one spouse comes from a divorced family, the marriage is twice as likely to dissolve. When both spouses come from a divorced family, they are nearly three times as likely to divorce.
We also know that children who are exposed to abuse when they are children are more likely to be abusers themselves. When boys see their father being verbally or physically abusive to their mother, they are three times as likely to verbally or physically abusive their own wives.
So, you have the power to give your children the inside track when it comes to having a happy marriage. Take a look at the everyday interactions between you and your spouse. Do you speak to each other with respect? When you fight, do you fight fairly? Do you stick to the issues or do you name call and attack character? Are you affectionate with each other? Do you spend time nurturing your relationship? When you talk about your spouse, are you speaking ill of him or complimenting him? Do your children believe that you love each other? Do they believe that you like each other?
Your marriage is a powerful model for your children. Pay attention to how you and your spouse interact and make changes where needed. If you’re not proud of what your marriage is teaching your children, then your marriage may need some help. Seek out the help you need as a couple so that you can have a happy marriage – and so that your children can, too.
Children learn what marriage is all about from watching their parents. They learn what’s ok and not ok with regard to how to treat a spouse. They learn how they can expect a spouse to treat them. They can learn that marriage is a union that provides support, love and comfort or they learn that marriage is full of fighting and breaking of spirit.
Studies show that children whose parents divorce are more likely to divorce themselves. If one spouse comes from a divorced family, the marriage is twice as likely to dissolve. When both spouses come from a divorced family, they are nearly three times as likely to divorce.
We also know that children who are exposed to abuse when they are children are more likely to be abusers themselves. When boys see their father being verbally or physically abusive to their mother, they are three times as likely to verbally or physically abusive their own wives.
So, you have the power to give your children the inside track when it comes to having a happy marriage. Take a look at the everyday interactions between you and your spouse. Do you speak to each other with respect? When you fight, do you fight fairly? Do you stick to the issues or do you name call and attack character? Are you affectionate with each other? Do you spend time nurturing your relationship? When you talk about your spouse, are you speaking ill of him or complimenting him? Do your children believe that you love each other? Do they believe that you like each other?
Your marriage is a powerful model for your children. Pay attention to how you and your spouse interact and make changes where needed. If you’re not proud of what your marriage is teaching your children, then your marriage may need some help. Seek out the help you need as a couple so that you can have a happy marriage – and so that your children can, too.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Rules for Autism Spectrum Kids (and every other child as well)
For about five years I have been going into family homes and doing "Environmental Engineering", recommending:
Color changes to the home environment
Lighting updates
Sensory gardens
Use of blanket holders with organic cotton blankets
Pantry re-organization etc.
For families of chidlren with anxiety, separation anxiety, depression, emotional melt-down, constant tantrums, oppositionalism and sensory issues. This article was the first time I have seen such tips in writing so I copied the whole article for EVERY family to read.
These tips are from Autism Today. They are practical for children in every family, I even use them in ours. Dr. K.
7 Essential Tips For Calming Children With Autism Spectrum Disorders
Let's face it, it's difficult to deal with some children with autism spectrum disorders, so that's why we need to have solutions ready at our fingertips.
1. USE ROUTINES, NOT LIP SERVICE!
Set up a crystal clear, daily structure before the day begins and decrease power struggles.. Think structure, structure, structure. Why get caught in crisis at the last minute for yourself and all concerned. People, especially in the autism spectrum need routine and structure. Be pro-active and structure minded even if you're not. Learn to cut down on directing with words as you begin to chose words with careful thought and consideration and sparingly. A little goes a long way.
2. CHANGE ENVIRONMENT RATHER THAN THE CHILD!
Look around you. If you actually make physical, concrete changes in your household, school, or community setting and change what needs to be changed such as location of furniture, color, lighting, clothing, chaos etc. People in the autism spectrum are especially sensitive to sensory conditions such as sound, lighting, physical touch and so on. This way the environment rather than you dictate the rules and your child can enjoy independence this way!
3. FOLLOW THROUGH WITH FOLLOW UP…FOLLOW UP…FOLLOW UP
Use your routines and rules you set in motion and then make sure they are doing what they are supposed to. By doing so, you are not the bad guy and they will have to deal with the natural consequences of their actions. With those in the autism spectrum, they respond well to follow-up as they thing in concrete terms rather than abstract ones. This can be your salvation and teaches the kids what will happen in the real world. Natural consequences can be difficult for them to comprehend therefore responses and behavior may get worse before it gets better but hang in there.
4. GROUND YOURSELF, NOT THE KIDS WITH GROUND RULES!
Keep your credibility and your word with your kids. Though it's hard at times, stick-to-it-ive-ness is your key to long term success. Kids in the spectrum disorder can actually enjoy grounding and time-outs due to their egocentric nature so be careful. Use masterful logic and reason and don't let them break you down or it will break you up!
5. NEGOTIATION ISN'T JUST FOR ADULTS
When creating rules for your kids, do so with them, not just for them whenever possible. This way they will buy into the process and will be more likely to cooperate. The rules are great for kids with autism as it helps them stay anchored. They will also surprise you many times with their comprehension of what is actually going on. Even if they are non-verbal, this does not mean they are not understanding or communicating so get the buy in.
6. BREAK TASKS INTO SMALL CHUNKS
If you overwhelm them it's no wonder they fight back. By breaking down the tasks into do-able tasks you are ensuring their feeling of success and even raising their own self-esteem. The more they have mastery over their environment the better they will feel about themselves. This should begin as small as need be with small decisions, small responsibilities etc and work up to larger ones. When deciding on the type of task to complete, try to use the seemingly insignificant activities that fill each child's day.
When working with people in this spectrum, life skills are very important to integrate at an early age. Social stories and visual cues can be quite helpful as a reminder. You can place pictures and/or text on a place they normally see so they can easily access this. Its good to put words next to pictures so they can learn to associate the meaning.
7. GIVE KIDS THE "HEAD OF THE TABLE"
Let them be in charge of their responsibilities though its tempting to try and avoid taking over the responsibility. In the short term it may seem easier but that's only if you want to continue doing this for them, in the case of parenting, when they are over 20! They can be rather convincing, none-the-less, hang in there. You can balance your decision to give the responsibility back by maintaining a supportive and caring attitude rather than being the bad guy!
Source: http://www.autismtoday.com/tips.htm
Color changes to the home environment
Lighting updates
Sensory gardens
Use of blanket holders with organic cotton blankets
Pantry re-organization etc.
For families of chidlren with anxiety, separation anxiety, depression, emotional melt-down, constant tantrums, oppositionalism and sensory issues. This article was the first time I have seen such tips in writing so I copied the whole article for EVERY family to read.
These tips are from Autism Today. They are practical for children in every family, I even use them in ours. Dr. K.
7 Essential Tips For Calming Children With Autism Spectrum Disorders
Let's face it, it's difficult to deal with some children with autism spectrum disorders, so that's why we need to have solutions ready at our fingertips.
1. USE ROUTINES, NOT LIP SERVICE!
Set up a crystal clear, daily structure before the day begins and decrease power struggles.. Think structure, structure, structure. Why get caught in crisis at the last minute for yourself and all concerned. People, especially in the autism spectrum need routine and structure. Be pro-active and structure minded even if you're not. Learn to cut down on directing with words as you begin to chose words with careful thought and consideration and sparingly. A little goes a long way.
2. CHANGE ENVIRONMENT RATHER THAN THE CHILD!
Look around you. If you actually make physical, concrete changes in your household, school, or community setting and change what needs to be changed such as location of furniture, color, lighting, clothing, chaos etc. People in the autism spectrum are especially sensitive to sensory conditions such as sound, lighting, physical touch and so on. This way the environment rather than you dictate the rules and your child can enjoy independence this way!
3. FOLLOW THROUGH WITH FOLLOW UP…FOLLOW UP…FOLLOW UP
Use your routines and rules you set in motion and then make sure they are doing what they are supposed to. By doing so, you are not the bad guy and they will have to deal with the natural consequences of their actions. With those in the autism spectrum, they respond well to follow-up as they thing in concrete terms rather than abstract ones. This can be your salvation and teaches the kids what will happen in the real world. Natural consequences can be difficult for them to comprehend therefore responses and behavior may get worse before it gets better but hang in there.
4. GROUND YOURSELF, NOT THE KIDS WITH GROUND RULES!
Keep your credibility and your word with your kids. Though it's hard at times, stick-to-it-ive-ness is your key to long term success. Kids in the spectrum disorder can actually enjoy grounding and time-outs due to their egocentric nature so be careful. Use masterful logic and reason and don't let them break you down or it will break you up!
5. NEGOTIATION ISN'T JUST FOR ADULTS
When creating rules for your kids, do so with them, not just for them whenever possible. This way they will buy into the process and will be more likely to cooperate. The rules are great for kids with autism as it helps them stay anchored. They will also surprise you many times with their comprehension of what is actually going on. Even if they are non-verbal, this does not mean they are not understanding or communicating so get the buy in.
6. BREAK TASKS INTO SMALL CHUNKS
If you overwhelm them it's no wonder they fight back. By breaking down the tasks into do-able tasks you are ensuring their feeling of success and even raising their own self-esteem. The more they have mastery over their environment the better they will feel about themselves. This should begin as small as need be with small decisions, small responsibilities etc and work up to larger ones. When deciding on the type of task to complete, try to use the seemingly insignificant activities that fill each child's day.
When working with people in this spectrum, life skills are very important to integrate at an early age. Social stories and visual cues can be quite helpful as a reminder. You can place pictures and/or text on a place they normally see so they can easily access this. Its good to put words next to pictures so they can learn to associate the meaning.
7. GIVE KIDS THE "HEAD OF THE TABLE"
Let them be in charge of their responsibilities though its tempting to try and avoid taking over the responsibility. In the short term it may seem easier but that's only if you want to continue doing this for them, in the case of parenting, when they are over 20! They can be rather convincing, none-the-less, hang in there. You can balance your decision to give the responsibility back by maintaining a supportive and caring attitude rather than being the bad guy!
Source: http://www.autismtoday.com/tips.htm
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Yoga and Kids
Yoga benefits children in so many ways. It teaches them to harness their inner lion, breath through tough moments and live more flexibly in mind and body. This past week I have been developing a yoga and meditation workshop for kids at North Scottsdale Pediatrics. This has caused me to read a lot, as always:).
Look for the workshop this Fall at the North office.
You might enjoy this article, just reading it is soothing.
"Children derive enormous benefits from yoga. Physically, it enhances their flexibility, strength, coordination, and body awareness. In addition, their concentration and sense of calmness and relaxation improves. Doing yoga, children exercise, play, connect more deeply with the inner self, and develop an intimate relationship with the natural world that surrounds them. Yoga brings that marvelous inner light that all children have to the surface."
http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/210.cfm
OMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. Dr. K
Look for the workshop this Fall at the North office.
You might enjoy this article, just reading it is soothing.
"Children derive enormous benefits from yoga. Physically, it enhances their flexibility, strength, coordination, and body awareness. In addition, their concentration and sense of calmness and relaxation improves. Doing yoga, children exercise, play, connect more deeply with the inner self, and develop an intimate relationship with the natural world that surrounds them. Yoga brings that marvelous inner light that all children have to the surface."
http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/210.cfm
OMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. Dr. K
Monday, July 23, 2007
WHEN DISCIPLINE STYLES VARY
GETTING ON THE SAME PAGE – WHEN YOUR DISCIPLINE STYLES VARY
Disciplining your children can be difficult. We often struggle with determining the appropriate consequence and with following through as we’ve promised. But, things can really get complicated when we’re two people who have very different styles of discipline try to parent together.
Good Cop, Bad Cop
It’s not unusual for one parent to be far stricter than the other. But, allowing each parent to discipline as they see fit when they know their style is different from that of their spouse sets you up to have your child play one parent against the other. Your child will soon learn to go to the more lenient parent with issues, leaving out the stricter parent. The child may even ask the “nice” parent to intervene on their behalf with the “mean” one. Neither of you is receiving a great deal of respect from your child when this situation is allowed to arise. Plus, it’s likely to cause issues in your marriage, because you never agree on how the other handles discipline situations.
Meeting in the Middle
If your parenting styles differ significantly, you’re going to need to discuss every discipline situation for a while. You should make the rule that no consequences should be delivered by either parent alone. Sit down and discuss each and every situation. You can begin by discussing what each of you would do if you had to deal with the situation alone, and then choose a disciplinary action that both of you can support.
After a while, some patterns will be established, and each of you will have a good idea of how to handle a situation on your own in a way that would be acceptable to your partner, too.
A United Front
It’s critical that you and your partner present a united front to your child. Children need to understand that mom and dad are working together to make the rules and provide clear direction. Showing your child that both parents are on the same page and that standards and consequences are fully supported by both parties will have a positive impact on your child’s behavior. Children look to us to set the rules; inconsistency between parents is confusing to them. So, hook up with your partner and create clear rules and consequences for breaking them that everyone can understand and support.
One book I highly recommend is Supernanny, she says it like it is.
Disciplining your children can be difficult. We often struggle with determining the appropriate consequence and with following through as we’ve promised. But, things can really get complicated when we’re two people who have very different styles of discipline try to parent together.
Good Cop, Bad Cop
It’s not unusual for one parent to be far stricter than the other. But, allowing each parent to discipline as they see fit when they know their style is different from that of their spouse sets you up to have your child play one parent against the other. Your child will soon learn to go to the more lenient parent with issues, leaving out the stricter parent. The child may even ask the “nice” parent to intervene on their behalf with the “mean” one. Neither of you is receiving a great deal of respect from your child when this situation is allowed to arise. Plus, it’s likely to cause issues in your marriage, because you never agree on how the other handles discipline situations.
Meeting in the Middle
If your parenting styles differ significantly, you’re going to need to discuss every discipline situation for a while. You should make the rule that no consequences should be delivered by either parent alone. Sit down and discuss each and every situation. You can begin by discussing what each of you would do if you had to deal with the situation alone, and then choose a disciplinary action that both of you can support.
After a while, some patterns will be established, and each of you will have a good idea of how to handle a situation on your own in a way that would be acceptable to your partner, too.
A United Front
It’s critical that you and your partner present a united front to your child. Children need to understand that mom and dad are working together to make the rules and provide clear direction. Showing your child that both parents are on the same page and that standards and consequences are fully supported by both parties will have a positive impact on your child’s behavior. Children look to us to set the rules; inconsistency between parents is confusing to them. So, hook up with your partner and create clear rules and consequences for breaking them that everyone can understand and support.
One book I highly recommend is Supernanny, she says it like it is.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Green Kids Online
Recently, a mum in my practice asked me how to help her children "Go Green." There are many excellent books on green-living. Ms. Gregory wrote an article on Suite 101 in 2006 with links for Kids who want to Go Green. It's a great start!
Let me know what Green resources you love.
Lynne
Green Kids Online
Resources for Teaching Children Green Habits
© Shirley Siluk Gregory
Dec 18, 2006
A guide to Websites designed to teach children about green and healthy living, biodiversity and protecting natural resource.
If you’re looking for ways to help your child understand the importance of green living habits, consider bookmarking some of these instructive Websites designed especially for kids:
A Walk in the Woods, created by the University of Illinois Extension Service, aims to help third- through fifth-graders students “gain an appreciation of nature.”
http://www.urbanext.uiuc.edu/woods/
Adventures with Bobbie Bigfoot provides an interactive quiz to help kids understand how food choices, transportation choices and more affect a person's ecological footprint.
http://www.kidsfootprint.org/index.html
AIRNow for Kids is part of the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency's Air Quality Index pages. It features two sections to help kindergarteners and first-graders, as well as 7- to 10-year-olds, learn more about pollution and their local air quality.
http://airnow.gov/index.cfm?action=aqikids_new.main
Be Different, Live Different, Buy Different, Make a Difference is a youth-targeted site created by the World Wildlife Fund and the Center for a New American Dream. Its aim is to “to help young people learn how they can make a difference by buying differently.”
http://www.ibuydifferent.org/about_us.asp
Biodiversity: Everything Counts!, part of the American Museum of Natural History's Website, offers a guide to close-to-home biodiversity, even for kids who live in cities.
http://ology.amnh.org/biodiversity/index.html
EcoKids is Earth Day Canada's environmental Website for kids. It features online games, links for homework help and contests, as well as printable resources for parents and teachers.
http://www.ecokids.ca/pub/index.cfm
EEK!, created by the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources, offers information to help youngsters recycle, conserve water, plant trees and learn about nature.
http://www.dnr.state.wi.us/org/caer/ce/eek/index.htm
EERE Kids, part of the U.S. Department of Energy's Energy Efficiency and Renewable Energy Web pages, links kids to information about solar energy, alternative fuels, energy efficiency tips and more.
http://www.eere.energy.gov/kids
The EPA's Environmental Kids Club, while not the most appealing or user-friendly site, includes lots of features: games about recycling, information about endangered species, a guide to reducing greenhouse gases, an Earth Day activity book and more.
http://www.epa.gov/kids/
Green Teacher, though not specifically directed at children, offers resources for teachers who want to improve their students' environmental awareness.
http://www.greenteacher.com
KidsHealth, a site run by the The Nemours Foundation's Center for Children's Health Media, provides extensive information for kids on eating well, staying healthy, exercise, illnesses and the challenges of growing up.
http://www.kidshealth.org/kid/
The National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences Kids' Pages offers a wide selection of nature- and science-oriented games, brainteasers, stories and downloadable coloring books about the environment, jokes and more.
http://www.niehs.nih.gov/kids/home.htm
The National Resources Defense Council's Make Waves! section features information on how to protect oceans and wildlife, a guide for eliminating environment and health problems in schools, and links to other green-oriented Websites for kids
http://www.nrdc.org/makewaves/
The National Wildlife Federation's Kids and Families site includes ideas from kids and adults about how to enjoy the outdoors, a Green Hour blog on the importance of letting kids play outside, a guide to gardening for wildlife, and information on subscriptions to the National Wildlife Federation's children's magazines.
http://www.nwf.org/kids/
The San Diego Natural History Museum's Kids' Habitat site includes illustrated guides to California's reptiles and amphibians, arthropods and marine life.
http://www.sdnhm.org/kids/index.html
The U.S. EPA's Website also features a section designed to help kids learn about chemical they might find in their homes.
http://www.epa.gov/kidshometour/
Let me know what Green resources you love.
Lynne
Green Kids Online
Resources for Teaching Children Green Habits
© Shirley Siluk Gregory
Dec 18, 2006
A guide to Websites designed to teach children about green and healthy living, biodiversity and protecting natural resource.
If you’re looking for ways to help your child understand the importance of green living habits, consider bookmarking some of these instructive Websites designed especially for kids:
A Walk in the Woods, created by the University of Illinois Extension Service, aims to help third- through fifth-graders students “gain an appreciation of nature.”
http://www.urbanext.uiuc.edu/woods/
Adventures with Bobbie Bigfoot provides an interactive quiz to help kids understand how food choices, transportation choices and more affect a person's ecological footprint.
http://www.kidsfootprint.org/index.html
AIRNow for Kids is part of the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency's Air Quality Index pages. It features two sections to help kindergarteners and first-graders, as well as 7- to 10-year-olds, learn more about pollution and their local air quality.
http://airnow.gov/index.cfm?action=aqikids_new.main
Be Different, Live Different, Buy Different, Make a Difference is a youth-targeted site created by the World Wildlife Fund and the Center for a New American Dream. Its aim is to “to help young people learn how they can make a difference by buying differently.”
http://www.ibuydifferent.org/about_us.asp
Biodiversity: Everything Counts!, part of the American Museum of Natural History's Website, offers a guide to close-to-home biodiversity, even for kids who live in cities.
http://ology.amnh.org/biodiversity/index.html
EcoKids is Earth Day Canada's environmental Website for kids. It features online games, links for homework help and contests, as well as printable resources for parents and teachers.
http://www.ecokids.ca/pub/index.cfm
EEK!, created by the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources, offers information to help youngsters recycle, conserve water, plant trees and learn about nature.
http://www.dnr.state.wi.us/org/caer/ce/eek/index.htm
EERE Kids, part of the U.S. Department of Energy's Energy Efficiency and Renewable Energy Web pages, links kids to information about solar energy, alternative fuels, energy efficiency tips and more.
http://www.eere.energy.gov/kids
The EPA's Environmental Kids Club, while not the most appealing or user-friendly site, includes lots of features: games about recycling, information about endangered species, a guide to reducing greenhouse gases, an Earth Day activity book and more.
http://www.epa.gov/kids/
Green Teacher, though not specifically directed at children, offers resources for teachers who want to improve their students' environmental awareness.
http://www.greenteacher.com
KidsHealth, a site run by the The Nemours Foundation's Center for Children's Health Media, provides extensive information for kids on eating well, staying healthy, exercise, illnesses and the challenges of growing up.
http://www.kidshealth.org/kid/
The National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences Kids' Pages offers a wide selection of nature- and science-oriented games, brainteasers, stories and downloadable coloring books about the environment, jokes and more.
http://www.niehs.nih.gov/kids/home.htm
The National Resources Defense Council's Make Waves! section features information on how to protect oceans and wildlife, a guide for eliminating environment and health problems in schools, and links to other green-oriented Websites for kids
http://www.nrdc.org/makewaves/
The National Wildlife Federation's Kids and Families site includes ideas from kids and adults about how to enjoy the outdoors, a Green Hour blog on the importance of letting kids play outside, a guide to gardening for wildlife, and information on subscriptions to the National Wildlife Federation's children's magazines.
http://www.nwf.org/kids/
The San Diego Natural History Museum's Kids' Habitat site includes illustrated guides to California's reptiles and amphibians, arthropods and marine life.
http://www.sdnhm.org/kids/index.html
The U.S. EPA's Website also features a section designed to help kids learn about chemical they might find in their homes.
http://www.epa.gov/kidshometour/
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Telly The Tattle -Tale: Children Learn Through Stories and Metaphor
TELLY THE TATTLE-TALE (AND HOW SHE LEARNED TO BE QUIET)
Telly, her mother, and her little brother Roger were on their way home from school. "Roger forgot his pencils today," said Telly.
"Hush up, Telly," said Roger, blushing. But their mother still scolded him. Telly smiled.
Later, the family was sitting around the table enjoying dinner. "Roger's just pushing his peas around," said Telly.
"Hush up, Telly," said Roger, quickly dropping his fork. But their parents still scolded him. Telly smiled.
Later, the parents went upstairs to read while the kids went to their rooms to work on their homework. "Roger's playing video games and not working," said Telly.
"Hush UP, Telly!" shouted Roger, unplugging the video game. But their father still came in to scold him. Telly smiled a big, wide, smile, and then went back to work on her own assignment.
She was working on a watercolor for art class. It was going to be the biggest, best watercolor any kid had ever turned in, and she was sure to get a gold star on the school Good Behavior chart for it--maybe even two. She imagined herself putting the stars up on the chart, the eyes of all the other children on her. She closed her eyes and reached out her skinny finger to place the star--and her hand knocked the cup with the dirty paint water right onto the carpet.
She opened her eyes, looked down, and moaned: there was a big green puddle, soaking right into the carpet! Then she looked up and moaned again, because there sat Roger in the doorway, a huge smile on his face.
Roger would tell her parents about the puddle. Then it would be Telly who got scolded, and Roger who would get to smile. Her parents would call the school, and they would cross her name right off of the Good Behavior chart with a fat, black marker--no gold stars for her ever again. She felt herself starting to cry.
But suddenly, there was Roger, a big roll of paper towels in his hand. He dropped two paper towels over the puddle and waited. Before long, the green had soaked up into the towels. Then Roger picked up the towels and, like magic, the puddle was gone and the carpet was clean. Roger went back to his own room without a word.
The next night at dinner, they had peas again. Roger was pushing them around on his plate instead of eating them, and Telly opened her mouth to tell on him. And then she remembered the green puddle on the floor, and how frightened she had been--and how Roger hadn't told on her, when he had the chance. Instead of telling on him, she turned back to eating her own peas. But on her mouth was a smile. It was a bigger smile than her usual one, bigger and nicer, somehow.
Telly, her mother, and her little brother Roger were on their way home from school. "Roger forgot his pencils today," said Telly.
"Hush up, Telly," said Roger, blushing. But their mother still scolded him. Telly smiled.
Later, the family was sitting around the table enjoying dinner. "Roger's just pushing his peas around," said Telly.
"Hush up, Telly," said Roger, quickly dropping his fork. But their parents still scolded him. Telly smiled.
Later, the parents went upstairs to read while the kids went to their rooms to work on their homework. "Roger's playing video games and not working," said Telly.
"Hush UP, Telly!" shouted Roger, unplugging the video game. But their father still came in to scold him. Telly smiled a big, wide, smile, and then went back to work on her own assignment.
She was working on a watercolor for art class. It was going to be the biggest, best watercolor any kid had ever turned in, and she was sure to get a gold star on the school Good Behavior chart for it--maybe even two. She imagined herself putting the stars up on the chart, the eyes of all the other children on her. She closed her eyes and reached out her skinny finger to place the star--and her hand knocked the cup with the dirty paint water right onto the carpet.
She opened her eyes, looked down, and moaned: there was a big green puddle, soaking right into the carpet! Then she looked up and moaned again, because there sat Roger in the doorway, a huge smile on his face.
Roger would tell her parents about the puddle. Then it would be Telly who got scolded, and Roger who would get to smile. Her parents would call the school, and they would cross her name right off of the Good Behavior chart with a fat, black marker--no gold stars for her ever again. She felt herself starting to cry.
But suddenly, there was Roger, a big roll of paper towels in his hand. He dropped two paper towels over the puddle and waited. Before long, the green had soaked up into the towels. Then Roger picked up the towels and, like magic, the puddle was gone and the carpet was clean. Roger went back to his own room without a word.
The next night at dinner, they had peas again. Roger was pushing them around on his plate instead of eating them, and Telly opened her mouth to tell on him. And then she remembered the green puddle on the floor, and how frightened she had been--and how Roger hadn't told on her, when he had the chance. Instead of telling on him, she turned back to eating her own peas. But on her mouth was a smile. It was a bigger smile than her usual one, bigger and nicer, somehow.
Sunday, June 3, 2007
What Makes A Family Strong?
After enjoying ten days visiting with family, sharing meaningful moments with friends and their families, and learning how to express gratitude daily, I started thinking, "What makes a family strong?"
Several times this holiday we enjoyed the company of a very special family. The husband and wife were committed and loving. They spoke kindly to one another and the emotional tone at their family gatherings was one of enjoyment, sharing and relaxation. We ate slowly, we drank slowly, we kicked the soccer ball, then we played four square. The conversation ambled, it just walked where it wished, which was so enjoyable. Their daughter was full of glee. There was a natural ease about this family.
I did a spot of research when I got home and found a summary that is interesting.
See if you agree. Do you feel that these characteristics make a family strong?
What makes your family bonded, loving and strong?
What do you want to improve in order to make your family healthier and stronger?
What Makes a Family Strong?
Lucy Schrader, Building Strong Families Program Coordinator,
University of Missouri, Human Environmental Sciences Extension
Researchers believe that a combination of traits makes a family strong rather than just one single characteristic. Strengths come from how family members interact with each other, how they treat one another, and what families do as a group and as individuals to support the adults and children in the family.
In the August 2002 Child Trends Research Brief, researchers looked at family strengths data from two national surveys and found that adolescents and parents reported:
Being close to each other
Feeling concern and caring for one another
Interacting with each other
Their information suggests that the more strengths a family has, the better off the children will be. The researchers found a relationship between the following strengths and positive outcomes for children.
Strengths related to what families do:
1. Positive mental health in parents.
Children whose parents say that they feel calm, peaceful or happy are more likely than other children to be positively involved in school and less likely to act out or have emotional problems.
2. Everyday routines.
Families that tend to have regular routines and roles usually have children who do well in school and have greater self-control. Keeping these everyday routines (like eating together and doing household tasks) is associated with positive outcomes for adolescents. They are more likely to avoid delinquent behavior and less likely to use drugs.
3. Spending time together.
Having fun with one's family is related to better outcomes for adolescents. Again, adolescents are more likely to avoid delinquent behavior and less likely to use drugs. Quality time is important for happiness in family relationships.
4. Communication and praise.
Positive communication (being warm, respectful and interested in a child's opinions) is associated with the well-being of children. Two-way communication can encourage healthy behavior in adolescents.
Adolescents who have parents that use praise and who go to their parents for advice are less likely to have behavioral and emotional problems.
5. Monitoring, supervision, and involvement.
When parents use praise and encouragement, show awareness and monitor adolescents' schoolwork and social life, their children tend to do better in school and show more socially positive behaviors.
Interesting....Be strong.
Several times this holiday we enjoyed the company of a very special family. The husband and wife were committed and loving. They spoke kindly to one another and the emotional tone at their family gatherings was one of enjoyment, sharing and relaxation. We ate slowly, we drank slowly, we kicked the soccer ball, then we played four square. The conversation ambled, it just walked where it wished, which was so enjoyable. Their daughter was full of glee. There was a natural ease about this family.
I did a spot of research when I got home and found a summary that is interesting.
See if you agree. Do you feel that these characteristics make a family strong?
What makes your family bonded, loving and strong?
What do you want to improve in order to make your family healthier and stronger?
What Makes a Family Strong?
Lucy Schrader, Building Strong Families Program Coordinator,
University of Missouri, Human Environmental Sciences Extension
Researchers believe that a combination of traits makes a family strong rather than just one single characteristic. Strengths come from how family members interact with each other, how they treat one another, and what families do as a group and as individuals to support the adults and children in the family.
In the August 2002 Child Trends Research Brief, researchers looked at family strengths data from two national surveys and found that adolescents and parents reported:
Being close to each other
Feeling concern and caring for one another
Interacting with each other
Their information suggests that the more strengths a family has, the better off the children will be. The researchers found a relationship between the following strengths and positive outcomes for children.
Strengths related to what families do:
1. Positive mental health in parents.
Children whose parents say that they feel calm, peaceful or happy are more likely than other children to be positively involved in school and less likely to act out or have emotional problems.
2. Everyday routines.
Families that tend to have regular routines and roles usually have children who do well in school and have greater self-control. Keeping these everyday routines (like eating together and doing household tasks) is associated with positive outcomes for adolescents. They are more likely to avoid delinquent behavior and less likely to use drugs.
3. Spending time together.
Having fun with one's family is related to better outcomes for adolescents. Again, adolescents are more likely to avoid delinquent behavior and less likely to use drugs. Quality time is important for happiness in family relationships.
4. Communication and praise.
Positive communication (being warm, respectful and interested in a child's opinions) is associated with the well-being of children. Two-way communication can encourage healthy behavior in adolescents.
Adolescents who have parents that use praise and who go to their parents for advice are less likely to have behavioral and emotional problems.
5. Monitoring, supervision, and involvement.
When parents use praise and encouragement, show awareness and monitor adolescents' schoolwork and social life, their children tend to do better in school and show more socially positive behaviors.
Interesting....Be strong.
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