Spirit Menders

Children are born with an incredible spirit. Everything is new, fascinating and thought provoking. As parents, it should be our goal to keep this spirit alive and fresh for as long as possible. Unfortunately, we often unwittingly do things that squash the spirit in our children. Here are some common spirit breakers and some spirit menders. See if you’re guilty of doing things that can break the spirit. Then try some of these spirit menders to help get you back on track.

Spirit Breakers

• Squashing Dreams – Your little boy tells you that when he grows up he wants to be an astronaut and fly to outer space. Trying to instill some reason in him, you inform him of how difficult it is to be an astronaut; how smart he’ll have to be, how much education it requires, etc.

• Belittling Talent – Your daughter is great at soccer, but her grades are not as good as you’d like them to be. When she acts proud of scoring the winning goal, you say, “it would be far more impressive if you got an A in math”.

• Humiliation – Parents sometimes resort to embarrassing their child in order to get them to change behavior. “See, son, little Johnny doesn’t have accidents in his pants, and he’s your age.” Not only is this tactic ineffective; it breaks the spirit.

• Brushing off what your child thinks is fascinating – Children have a tendency to get somewhat obsessed with things. Maybe it annoys you that your son spends hours watching the stars through his telescope. However, if you give him the impression that being fascinated with the stars is silly, he may become ashamed of his interests and be afraid to pursue the things that really matter to him.

Spirit Menders

• Having a curious mind – If you show interest in how things work, and share this interest with your child, you fuel their natural curiosity and interest.

• Being involved in what they like – Your children have activities that bring them joy, join in those activities with them! Get off the couch and participate!

• Show that you’re proud – Be proud of whatever they accomplish – and let them know it. You can never love them too much and you can never tell them too many times that you’re proud of their accomplishments.

• Listen to them - Your children have fascinating original voices listen to their likes, dislikes, stories and experiences.

Take a deep breath and begin to be present, loving and compassionate today. It's not too late to mend your child's spirit.

Live On The Bright Side In Your Relationship

Business is competitive, we all work hard, drive hard and live hard, BUT maybe it all doesn’t have to be this hard.

Having a successful career, successful relationships and an extraordinary life are complementary - All can be achieved. Get out of damage control and back into thriving relationships at work and at home with practical solutions that will change your life.

a. What Harvard says you can do to increase longevity and happiness
b. Three essential steps to successful relationships at work and home
c. The 5 Factor Makeover

Successful Relationships Lesson #1 – Live on the bright side.
Research shows that your viewpoint and attitude may impact your health, happiness and career success more than your genetics.

Successful Relationships Lesson #2– Choose your shoes. You choose what shoes you walk in, what path you take and who you take it with, be proactive not reactive and choose your shoes, don’t just wear any shoes someone offers you.

Successful Relationships Lesson #3– Learn how to push the STOP Button. Know when to stop yourself from making critical, demeaning, contemptuous and sarcastic comments. Edit yourself. People who avoid saying every critical thought when discussing touchy topics are consistently the happiest and most successful in their relationships.

Successful Relationships Lesson #4– Bored people are boring people.
If you aren’t sure what is interesting and intriguing about you, it’s time to find out. If you hear yourself say, I am tired of this job, life, relationship etc. it’s time to take charge, take a risk and make a change.

Successful Relationships Lesson #5– Forgiveness fosters health.
People often think that if they harbor anger it hurts the person they are angry with but anger only hurts you. People who let anger go and experience forgiveness experience less heart disease, anxiety and depression.

"Mommy are you listening?"

Really being present when we interact with our children is important to their self-esteem and attachment. Here is a lovely quote from themindfulparent.org, sit down with a cup of tea, visit their site and learn to be more mindful and attentive with your beautiful child.

"Our days are filled. We experience moments that fly by and moments that pass at a slower pace. No matter how frenetic the pace, there are occasional lulls.

Today, allow the lull to serve as a cue to open awareness to your child.

In the stillness of this moment
I imagine my child
Breathing softly

Calm your mind, breathe deeply and appreciate the quiet of the moment. Even if there is some noise around you, inside yourself you are able to open to the spaciousness of the moment.

Bring your awareness to your child, wherever he or she may be. Let the stillness of the moment resonate as you imagine your child amid the same stillness. Sense your child breathing softly, just as you breathe softly.

As you direct awareness to your child, sense your child opening awareness to your presence in his or her life. Smile."

Take a moment each day to be present and attentive to your children, it will fill you with joy.

Books to read:

Mindful Parenting: Meditations, Verses, & Visualizations for a More Joyful Life (2006) by Scott Rogers.

Everyday Blessing: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting (1993) by Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn.