The value of assigning tasks to your children

The majority of families with whom I work are facing issues of lack of control in their homes. They experience their children refusing to do as told, they feel their home lives could be better managed and they desire more peace and calm at home. Fundamentally, when I work with these families establishing a firm foundation of values is first. I have observed that if children are not clearly told what kind of family culture they live in and what behaviors are expected then they are confused and noncompliance is often the most common result.

Often, the first time I meet with a family we review what kind of family they wish to raise and then we begin to establish routines that will help them create the family they desire to live in. By assigning tasks to your children you are living with a value of helping your children become independent and resourceful. Therefore, one of my favorite tools in The Family Coach Toolbox is the ROUTINE TASKS LIST.

These task lists are essential for healthy family functioning. They serve two functions: 1) To help the family regain order and 2) To help the children begin to develop independent skills for health and wellness. Children as young at two years of age know that life experience have some order. They understand routine. A two year old knows that when she sits in her high-chair or at the family table that food is about to be served. They know that sitting comes first and eating comes second. This is the beginning of their understanding that some predictability exists in their world.

Morning and evening routines are the most basic routines to establish. While every family does routines differently, there are some basic tasks children need to complete each day before going to school. Of course, they need to get up, get dressed, get their teeth brushed, brush their hair, eat breakfast and head off to school.

Begin developing task lists by sitting down with your children, yes, even the young ones and talk about basic routines.

"Each morning when we get up we have a lot to do." "What do you do each morning?" "What order do you like to do things in?"

Write down the parts of the child's routine. Let them draw them and color them and write them out to their ability level. With a young child they can draw pictures and you can write underneath the pictures for them. Some children like to bathe in the morning others like to complete their homework in the morning. Write it all down. Then take a white magic marker board, the size you can hang on a bedroom door, and write a list of five tasks. Keep it simple so that your children can experience success.

Your board might look like this:

• Make my bed

• Get dressed

• Eat breakfast

• Brush my teeth

• Brush my hair

Or like this:

• Take a shower

• Get dressed

• Brush my teeth

• Brush my hair

• Eat breakfast

Create a task list for each child, recognizing that they may benefit from different routines. However the routine best works for you and your child, that is how you will write it down. Identifying routines and assigning written tasks to your children helps them become masterful independent children.

Spring Cleaning with Meryl Starr

Spring is here, finally. The days are longer and warmer and we are all looking forward to spending more time outside. Spring is a special time for me as its time for Spring Cleaning. For a Personal Organizer, Spring Cleaning is like Christmas, New Years and July 4th all wrapped up into one.

As I mention in the "To Do List" chapter of my book, The Personal Organizing Workbook, Spring is the perfect excuse to make a clean start. The following is a list of 10 easy ways to prepare of the season.

1) Scrub-a-dub-dub. It isn't called "spring cleaning" for nothing. Dust bunnies, cobwebs grime and dirt all have to go.

2) Glasswork. Wash your windows. Nothing brings in light like washing away that winter film.

3) Plant a Garden Now. Then, enjoy flowers, fresh herbs, and home-grown tomatoes this summer.

4) Research summer camps for the kids.

5) Make sure the air conditioner is up and running. Change the filter lately?

6) Cleaning Agents. Spring is the perfect time to get your carpets, rugs and upholstery cleaned by professionals.

7) Curtain Call. Replace the shower-curtain liner in your bathroom. Mold and mildew can build up and exacerbate allergies and asthma.

8) Keep a picnic basket and a blanket handy, so you can make the most of a sunny afternoon at a moment's notice.

9) Finish up those indoor projects you started and did not complete during the winter. Projects like painting your bedroom or organizing a box of photographs. Soon your attention will be outdoors and you will not revisit the indoor projects till October.

10) Waste Not. Don't forget to clean out your closets, drawers and cabinets. Mark two bins "keep" and "get rid of". Be cold, be heartless, be unforgiving. And don't forget to get a receipt when you donate your stuff to local charities.

I hope this list helps you to get the Spring Season off to an Organized start. In the meantime please look for me in April's issue of "Health Magazine" (page 118) on the newsstands now. In this article I tackle the subject of organizing your home office, most people's number one clutter zone.

Enjoy the warm weather,

All the best,

Meryl Starr
Personal Organizer
www.merylstarr.com