The value of assigning tasks to your children

The majority of families with whom I work are facing issues of lack of control in their homes. They experience their children refusing to do as told, they feel their home lives could be better managed and they desire more peace and calm at home. Fundamentally, when I work with these families establishing a firm foundation of values is first. I have observed that if children are not clearly told what kind of family culture they live in and what behaviors are expected then they are confused and noncompliance is often the most common result.

Often, the first time I meet with a family we review what kind of family they wish to raise and then we begin to establish routines that will help them create the family they desire to live in. By assigning tasks to your children you are living with a value of helping your children become independent and resourceful. Therefore, one of my favorite tools in The Family Coach Toolbox is the ROUTINE TASKS LIST.

These task lists are essential for healthy family functioning. They serve two functions: 1) To help the family regain order and 2) To help the children begin to develop independent skills for health and wellness. Children as young at two years of age know that life experience have some order. They understand routine. A two year old knows that when she sits in her high-chair or at the family table that food is about to be served. They know that sitting comes first and eating comes second. This is the beginning of their understanding that some predictability exists in their world.

Morning and evening routines are the most basic routines to establish. While every family does routines differently, there are some basic tasks children need to complete each day before going to school. Of course, they need to get up, get dressed, get their teeth brushed, brush their hair, eat breakfast and head off to school.

Begin developing task lists by sitting down with your children, yes, even the young ones and talk about basic routines.

"Each morning when we get up we have a lot to do." "What do you do each morning?" "What order do you like to do things in?"

Write down the parts of the child's routine. Let them draw them and color them and write them out to their ability level. With a young child they can draw pictures and you can write underneath the pictures for them. Some children like to bathe in the morning others like to complete their homework in the morning. Write it all down. Then take a white magic marker board, the size you can hang on a bedroom door, and write a list of five tasks. Keep it simple so that your children can experience success.

Your board might look like this:

• Make my bed

• Get dressed

• Eat breakfast

• Brush my teeth

• Brush my hair

Or like this:

• Take a shower

• Get dressed

• Brush my teeth

• Brush my hair

• Eat breakfast

Create a task list for each child, recognizing that they may benefit from different routines. However the routine best works for you and your child, that is how you will write it down. Identifying routines and assigning written tasks to your children helps them become masterful independent children.