Model Marriage

What does your marriage teach your children? Is your marriage an example of love and respect or one of disharmony and suspicion? Take a good hard look at what your marriage teaches your children. It’s extremely important for your child’s own future marriage.

Children learn what marriage is all about from watching their parents. They learn what’s ok and not ok with regard to how to treat a spouse. They learn how they can expect a spouse to treat them. They can learn that marriage is a union that provides support, love and comfort or they learn that marriage is full of fighting and breaking of spirit.

Studies show that children whose parents divorce are more likely to divorce themselves. If one spouse comes from a divorced family, the marriage is twice as likely to dissolve. When both spouses come from a divorced family, they are nearly three times as likely to divorce.

We also know that children who are exposed to abuse when they are children are more likely to be abusers themselves. When boys see their father being verbally or physically abusive to their mother, they are three times as likely to verbally or physically abusive their own wives.

So, you have the power to give your children the inside track when it comes to having a happy marriage. Take a look at the everyday interactions between you and your spouse. Do you speak to each other with respect? When you fight, do you fight fairly? Do you stick to the issues or do you name call and attack character? Are you affectionate with each other? Do you spend time nurturing your relationship? When you talk about your spouse, are you speaking ill of him or complimenting him? Do your children believe that you love each other? Do they believe that you like each other?

Your marriage is a powerful model for your children. Pay attention to how you and your spouse interact and make changes where needed. If you’re not proud of what your marriage is teaching your children, then your marriage may need some help. Seek out the help you need as a couple so that you can have a happy marriage – and so that your children can, too.