The Family Meeting

Family meetings can be a valuable way to make family decisions, communicate information and discuss issues. Many families have never had a meeting, and aren’t really sure how to use this forum with their families. Your family meeting is the time to share opinions, reflect on current events, talk about life experiences, plan for the future and solve challenges. They can be structured or unstructured, just make sure that everyone has a say in how the meeting will be conducted. One family I know begins with an agenda, another passes around the "talking stick" so one person speaks at a time.

Here are some tips to get you started with your family meeting.

• They need not be a formal affair– Family meetings don’t require a lot of pomp and circumstance, just that everyone is present and tuned into the matter at hand. They can be held during dinner if that’s what’s most convenient.

• Use this time to praise in front of everyone– Offer congratulations for accomplishments at family meetings. Let everyone have the chance to recognize other family members.

• Keep it positive - Sometimes family meetings will have to address negative issues, but if you keep the tone of the meetings positive overall, they’re more likely to be viewed as helpful by your family.

• Family meetings are not group punishment – If your children are driving you nuts, busting their collective chops in a family meeting is not the answer. You don’t want your kids to dread family meetings. This is also not the time to single out a child for something they’ve done wrong. Do that in private.

• Family meetings are not for “laying down the law”, either – Successful family meetings involve everyone providing their opinion and input. Go around the table and ask for an opinion if someone’s not speaking up. If you plan to dictate change with no input from anyone else, use another venue.

• Do something fun once in a while – Throw in a surprise now and then. Why not have your family meeting at the bowling alley or the go kart track? Even playing a game at home at the end of the meeting can be a nice change.

• End on a happy note – Even if you’ve had to deliver bad news at this meeting, find something positive to end with. It will leave a better memory about the experience.

• Don’t have them too often – You don’t need to have a family meeting to discuss every little issue. They’ll carry more weight if you use them only for important issues.

Allowance Strategies

This morning my daughter said, "Mom I need my $20." She's seven. So I'm thinking how did we go from $2 to $20? Was I on vacation while this happened?

Deciding on whether to give an allowance, and how much to give can be tricky.

1. First, decide what items your child will have to use allowance for. Will he have to pay for his activities, like attending a movie with friends, buying non-necessary household items, clothing and gifts? Or is it just spending money? (Really, how many more Webkins do we need?)

2. Once you’ve determined the spending guidelines, it will help you determine a proper amount. Be careful of giving a large allowance without requiring any effort on your child’s part. Learning the value of hard earned money is a worthwhile lesson.

3. In addition, I’m a firm believer that kids shouldn’t be paid to do things like clean their rooms, because it’s important to for them to learn that they can, and should, take care of their things and contribute to our household.

4. Be clear on how much allowance they’ll receive, spending restrictions, and any requirements that are tied to receiving it.

5. Remember intrinsic motivation is more powerful than extrinsic motivation so think of remuneration in terms of time spent together, shared activities and love not just in terms of dollars.

Gotta go find my wallet.

Mommy Meditation

It’s likely that the last thing you feel able to do in your busy, busy day is set aside time to meditate. The benefits of meditation are endless. The role this ritual plays within parenthood is essential. Meditation can allow you to create exceptional inner peace, help you develop more confident parenting skills and bring your life order despite your feelings of complete disarray.

Meditation allows you to clear away your path for the day.

How To Make Meditation Happen:

1. In order to bring this peace to your morning, wake up slightly earlier than usual and begin the day with a sense of calm rather than rushing from one activity from sunrise to sunset.

2. To establish the habit of nurturing your spirit before bed after the kids have already been put down for sleep, leave those dishes for the morning and nurture yourself not the housework.

3. Set aside five minutes during the day, in the car while you wait for your children after school, at your desk or while waiting for others in a meeting or at lunch.

Now I Made Time What Do I Do?

A Few Simple Steps

1. Dim the lights and sit comfortably on your floor. You can use a pillow to sit on to aide your comfort and allow your spine to extend fully as you sit upright. Or, you may prefer to lie flat, with your arms resting to your side.

2. Focus on your breathing. Enjoy the feeling that is created as you slowly inhale and exhale slowly releasing the air and tension from your body.

3. Feel your chest expand and collapse, feel your shoulders drop and neck muscles loosen.

4. Let your mind focus on your breathing let all your thoughts fly into the sky.

It's really pretty simple, breathe relax and let go. How's that for Mommy Meditation.

The value of meditation is endless. Find the time. Your mind and body deserve it.