Making and keeping friends is a central part of entering school. Teaching your child prosocial friendship skills is a valuable part of your relationship with your children.
Where do you begin?
A. A few great books have been written on friendship skills. Ones from the American Girls library include: Friends: Making them and keeping them; The Feelings Book, and Stand Up For Yourself and Your Friends. For middle school children and teens Queen Bees and Wanna Bees is a must-read for parents. For parents who wish to coach their teens to health and wellness, The Parent as Coach by Diana Sterling is amazing for parents of teens.
B. Healthy friendship skills begin with confidence and self-respect. Children who have self-esteem are able to be kind, share, and include others in their friendship circles.
C. Knowing your own social style and what is unique about your child is another fine starting point. Emphasizing that everyone is different and we are all special in our own ways enhances acceptance and tolerance among children.
Here are a few, little discussed, tips on helping your children develop their friendship skills.
1. As young as age four you can begin to help your child discover his or her personal style. What kind of child is yours? Help her see that she is bright, funny, articulate, caring or thoughtful. Teach her how to recognize positive social skills in others so she chooses skillful friends who are likely to share her values.
2. In order to help your child see when she is using prosocial friendship skills, comment specifically on what your child does in her friendships that shows she cares.
“When Jose hurt his arm and you offered to sit with when he could not play, that was a kind thing to do.”
“Offering your sister your sweater at the skating rink when she was cold was a thoughtful thing to do.”
3. Teach your child to observe the behavior of others non-judgmentally in a manner that helps her to see how other people behave. Talk with her about how other people respond to that behavior.
4. As your child gets older help her develop the ability to observe the impact of her behavior on others.
5. Giving your children the words and actions to: a. enter into and exit social groups, b. include other people in their group and c. recognize what characteristics your child wants in his or her friends is invaluable.
Talk with your children about what makes a good friend. Write a short story or a book on what one does to show respect, integrity and honesty. If there is a school-mate who criticizes others or mocks others, that is not a friend you wish for your child to choose as a close mate. Draw distinctions between kids who are willing to lift one another up and those who desire to feel powerful by cutting others down.
Here are some sample social skills you might wish to introduce to your children one skill as a time. Role-play with your children, create positive conversations with your children and teach them the importance of learning these skills.
Sample List of Skills
• Accepting "No"
• Accepting Consequences
• Apologizing
• Arguing Respectfully
• Asking a Favor
• Asking Questions
• Being a Good Listener
• Being in a Group Discussion
• Conversational Skills
• Declining an Invitation
• Expressing Empathy
• Following Rules
• Good Sportsmanship
Developing friendship skills can be fun. So practice, play and enjoy with your children. Friendship will follow.
Showing posts with label moms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label moms. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
The Family Coach on Channel 12 LIVE March 24, 2009 Arizona Midday
Tune in to discuss - What is a blended family?
In a blended family, or stepfamily, one or both partners have been married before and one or both spouses has children from another relationship.
Blending is the process of redefining the family unit to include new parents and or new children. New grandparents, step-parents, aunts, uncles etc may also be involved. The processes of blending a family grows it exponentially.
The blending process includes many unanswered questions: Will we like each other? Who will make the rules? Who will enforce the rules? Will we all get along? Who will tuck me in at night? Will my parents still fight... on and on. It will help you and your children to feel safe and secure if you talk, communicate, share and explore the meaning of your new family, in your home and in the other homes involved.
It is your job as newly evolving blended parents to define for your children will be the family playing field. Defining the kind of family you wish to be will be a joint decision for all, even if the children are quite young.
So get ready for a democracy and begin with a mission statement, clarification of your values and family rules agreed on by all.
As expand your family, a few important things to remember are:
* Have a mission, a method and a plan. Talk with your new spouse about the kind of family you hope to be. Your expectations might differ.
* Discuss division of child-care teen-care responsibilities. Are you marrying someone who wants you care for their kids, how much, how, why etc.
* Be your most grown-up self. If you are becoming a blended family be ready to be the calmest, most mature, most patient adult possible because you will get tested and it is your job to stay calm and mature.
* Be patient . Good relationships take time and trust. Be ready to wait things out, be patient and keep circling back in your new relationships to build trust-filled experiences.
* Limit your expectations. Know that you will probably give a lot of time, energy, love and affection that will not be returned immediately. Think of it as making small investments that may one day yield a lot of interest, but don’t expect anything in return for now.
Given the right support, kids should gradually adjust to their new family members. It is your job to communicate openly, meet their needs for security and give them plenty of time to make a successful transition. If the transition remains bumpy for a long-time seek consultation there are many excellent books and clinicians experienced with blended families.
Resources on Amazon.com
Parenting Essentials ~ Dr. Lynne Kenney DVD
Stepcoupling: Creating and Sustaining a Strong Marriage in Today's Blended Family by Susan Wisdom and Jennifer Green
Blended Families: Creating Harmony as You Build a New Home Life by Maxine Marsolini
Smart Stepfamily, The: Seven Steps to a Healthy Family by Ron L. Deal
Parachutes for Parents: 12 New Keys to Raising Children for a Better World by Bobbie Sandoz-Merrill
In a blended family, or stepfamily, one or both partners have been married before and one or both spouses has children from another relationship.
Blending is the process of redefining the family unit to include new parents and or new children. New grandparents, step-parents, aunts, uncles etc may also be involved. The processes of blending a family grows it exponentially.
The blending process includes many unanswered questions: Will we like each other? Who will make the rules? Who will enforce the rules? Will we all get along? Who will tuck me in at night? Will my parents still fight... on and on. It will help you and your children to feel safe and secure if you talk, communicate, share and explore the meaning of your new family, in your home and in the other homes involved.
It is your job as newly evolving blended parents to define for your children will be the family playing field. Defining the kind of family you wish to be will be a joint decision for all, even if the children are quite young.
So get ready for a democracy and begin with a mission statement, clarification of your values and family rules agreed on by all.
As expand your family, a few important things to remember are:
* Have a mission, a method and a plan. Talk with your new spouse about the kind of family you hope to be. Your expectations might differ.
* Discuss division of child-care teen-care responsibilities. Are you marrying someone who wants you care for their kids, how much, how, why etc.
* Be your most grown-up self. If you are becoming a blended family be ready to be the calmest, most mature, most patient adult possible because you will get tested and it is your job to stay calm and mature.
* Be patient . Good relationships take time and trust. Be ready to wait things out, be patient and keep circling back in your new relationships to build trust-filled experiences.
* Limit your expectations. Know that you will probably give a lot of time, energy, love and affection that will not be returned immediately. Think of it as making small investments that may one day yield a lot of interest, but don’t expect anything in return for now.
Given the right support, kids should gradually adjust to their new family members. It is your job to communicate openly, meet their needs for security and give them plenty of time to make a successful transition. If the transition remains bumpy for a long-time seek consultation there are many excellent books and clinicians experienced with blended families.
Resources on Amazon.com
Parenting Essentials ~ Dr. Lynne Kenney DVD
Stepcoupling: Creating and Sustaining a Strong Marriage in Today's Blended Family by Susan Wisdom and Jennifer Green
Blended Families: Creating Harmony as You Build a New Home Life by Maxine Marsolini
Smart Stepfamily, The: Seven Steps to a Healthy Family by Ron L. Deal
Parachutes for Parents: 12 New Keys to Raising Children for a Better World by Bobbie Sandoz-Merrill
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Parenting High Ability Children: AAGT Parent Institute on March 28, 2009
This one-day, budget friendly conference on parenting high ability children will provide information, reassurance, and new friends for families trying to make sense of it all. People from all over Arizona come to this informative, positive event.
Arizona Association for Gifted and Talented
2009 Parent Institute: Parenting High Ability Children
Who: Parents, Grandparents, & Educators from all over Arizona
What: Seminars on parenting gifted children
Where: Sandra Day O’Connor College of Law at ASU
Date: Saturday, March, 28th, 2009
Time: 9:00 AM – 4:00 PM
Price: $25, pre-registration required. Go to www.aagtparentday.com
See you there.
Arizona Association for Gifted and Talented
2009 Parent Institute: Parenting High Ability Children
Who: Parents, Grandparents, & Educators from all over Arizona
What: Seminars on parenting gifted children
Where: Sandra Day O’Connor College of Law at ASU
Date: Saturday, March, 28th, 2009
Time: 9:00 AM – 4:00 PM
Price: $25, pre-registration required. Go to www.aagtparentday.com
See you there.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
The Skinny on Raising Happy Skillful Kids 3-8
At the request of several moms, in March I am launching four one hour mom coaching calls for parents wishing to raise happy, ethical, skillful kids. The series is $129 and is always enjoyed by all. Please let the moms with whom you work know about this opportunity.
Join The Circle of Moms Coaching Calls
March 9-30, 2009
Mondays at 11 am Mountain Time
Americans are good at parenting their young children, but teaching your children mastery and accountability in the KANGAROO YEARS ages 3-8 is a new experience. To help you -The Family Coach has set up a series of four coaching calls in MARCH for moms like you!
These calls are designed to provide moms of children ages 3-8 strategies to:
Create Your Extraordinary Family.
Communicate your expectations to your children.
Help your children to comply with family expectations.
Provide you with the words and actions to help you raise confident, ethical, caring children.
Teach you strategies to distinguish between skill deficits and willful non-compliance.
Help you use your family values to encourage peaceful interactions at home.
Establish bite-sized expectations so that your children become skillful and accomplished at home and at school.
www.lynnekenney.com
www.twittermoms.com/profile/LynneKenney
Join The Circle of Moms Coaching Calls
March 9-30, 2009
Mondays at 11 am Mountain Time
Americans are good at parenting their young children, but teaching your children mastery and accountability in the KANGAROO YEARS ages 3-8 is a new experience. To help you -The Family Coach has set up a series of four coaching calls in MARCH for moms like you!
These calls are designed to provide moms of children ages 3-8 strategies to:
Create Your Extraordinary Family.
Communicate your expectations to your children.
Help your children to comply with family expectations.
Provide you with the words and actions to help you raise confident, ethical, caring children.
Teach you strategies to distinguish between skill deficits and willful non-compliance.
Help you use your family values to encourage peaceful interactions at home.
Establish bite-sized expectations so that your children become skillful and accomplished at home and at school.
www.lynnekenney.com
www.twittermoms.com/profile/LynneKenney
Thursday, February 5, 2009
The GODDARD SCHOOL comes to Scottsdale
Welcome to The Goddard School® located in Scottsdale at 13940 N. Frank Lloyd Wright Blvd! We will be opening soon.
The Goddard School® can make a positive difference in your child's life. Our warm, loving atmosphere features a year round extended day program from 7 AM to 6 PM, Monday through Friday. Our program is designed to enhance the emotional, social, intellectual, and physical development of your child from six weeks to six years of age. We also offer after-school enrichment and a summer program for children up to seven years of age.
We take great pride in our faculty. Our experienced and degreed teachers provide a loving and nurturing environment for your children. Areas of growth and development are highlighted on our daily lesson plans, which our faculty brings to life in appropriate and attainable ways. Children are encouraged to progress at their own pace according to their individual needs and abilities. We are continually adding exciting curricular resources such as Music Appreciation, Apple Blossom Yoga, Time to Sign™, American Sign Language for children, Art History, Foreign Language Program, B.A.S.E. Fitness, and the Goddard Guide to Getting Along™! All of these enrichment programs are included in the tuition - there are no extra fees for participation.
To learn more about The Goddard School® please call (480) 451-5512.
Natalia Elfimova is the owner of the new Goddard School in Scottsdale. As a parent of a young daughter, Natalia recognizes the importance of a safe and nurturing learning environment. Her family is the basis for the reason that she chose Goddard. She has been a resident of the Scottsdale are for over ten years and is happy to be able to provide Goddard’s outstanding program to the children in the community.
The Goddard School® can make a positive difference in your child's life. Our warm, loving atmosphere features a year round extended day program from 7 AM to 6 PM, Monday through Friday. Our program is designed to enhance the emotional, social, intellectual, and physical development of your child from six weeks to six years of age. We also offer after-school enrichment and a summer program for children up to seven years of age.
We take great pride in our faculty. Our experienced and degreed teachers provide a loving and nurturing environment for your children. Areas of growth and development are highlighted on our daily lesson plans, which our faculty brings to life in appropriate and attainable ways. Children are encouraged to progress at their own pace according to their individual needs and abilities. We are continually adding exciting curricular resources such as Music Appreciation, Apple Blossom Yoga, Time to Sign™, American Sign Language for children, Art History, Foreign Language Program, B.A.S.E. Fitness, and the Goddard Guide to Getting Along™! All of these enrichment programs are included in the tuition - there are no extra fees for participation.
To learn more about The Goddard School® please call (480) 451-5512.
Natalia Elfimova is the owner of the new Goddard School in Scottsdale. As a parent of a young daughter, Natalia recognizes the importance of a safe and nurturing learning environment. Her family is the basis for the reason that she chose Goddard. She has been a resident of the Scottsdale are for over ten years and is happy to be able to provide Goddard’s outstanding program to the children in the community.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Join The Circle of Moms Coaching Calls
Join The Circle of Moms Coaching Calls
March 9-30, 2009
Americans are good at parenting their young children, but teaching your children mastery and accountability in the KANGAROO YEARS ages 3-8 is a new experience. To help you -The Family Coach has set up a series of four coaching calls in MARCH for moms like you!
These calls are designed to provide moms of children ages 3-8 strategies to:
Create Your Extraordinary Family.
Communicate your expectations to your children.
Help your children to comply with family expectations.
Provide you with the words and actions to help you raise confident, ethical, caring children.
Teach you strategies to distinguish between skill deficits and willful non-compliance.
Help you use your family values to encourage peaceful interactions at home.
Establish bite-sized expectations so that your children become skillful and accomplished at home and at school.
To sign-up for The Circle of Moms Coaching Series email Lynne at thefamilycoach@aol.com.
The series is $129 for four one hour classes.
This is an educational service provided by The Family Coach.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Thriving with ADHD
For all you who asked, here is the outline for the February 3, 2009 Teleconference Thriving with ADHD
What is ADHD
• A medical condition characterized by inattention, impulsivity and or hyperactivity
• Approximately 5-7 percent of school-aged children have ADHD
• 2 million children in US
• 5 million adults US
ADHD is not
• Lack of motivation
• Poor parenting
• A result of parenting
• Laziness
• Low intelligence
• Uncommon
Executive Function
• "Executive Function" refers to a set of mental processes that serve as the boss of our brain, the organizer, strategic planner and Chief Executive Officer of our brain.
• We use executive function when we perform activities such as planning, organizing, strategizing, paying attention to details and remembering information.
When The Boss is Out
• Difficulty with
– Problem solving
– Organization
– Managing behavior
– Mood modulation
– Starting and stopping behaviors
– Staying on task
EF Observable Behavior
• TIME MANAGEMENT
– Finish work on time
– Keep track of time
– Make and keep plans
• ATTENTION
– Stay on task
– Make and act on corrections while speaking, thinking, reading and writing
• ORGANIZING THOUGHTS TO COMMUNICATE THEM
– Ask for what one needs
– Communicate ides in a relevant sequential manner
– Express emotional state thoughtfully
– Act on self-corrections while speaking, thinking, reading and writing
EF Observable Behavior
• PLANNING
– Initiating relevant tasks
– Acting on independently generated ideas or plans
– Planning a project
– Projecting how much time is needed for a project
• MEMORY
– Holding information in working memory
– Retaining and using information in the moment
– Retrieving information from memory
– Keeping track of more than one thing at once
Additional Domains
• IMPULSIVITY
• MOOD MODULATION
• SENSORY STIMULATION
Co-morbid Issues
• ODD
• CD
• Tics
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Social issues
• Self-esteem
Managing ADHD
• Structure
• Organization
• Planning
• Mastery
• Family mission
• Family values
• Clear rules
• Clear expectations
• Clear consequences
Hear You Then.
Time: 11 am in Phoenix 1 pm ET 10 am PT
Cost: First class Free
Call in line: 712-429-0690 pin 884068#.
What is ADHD
• A medical condition characterized by inattention, impulsivity and or hyperactivity
• Approximately 5-7 percent of school-aged children have ADHD
• 2 million children in US
• 5 million adults US
ADHD is not
• Lack of motivation
• Poor parenting
• A result of parenting
• Laziness
• Low intelligence
• Uncommon
Executive Function
• "Executive Function" refers to a set of mental processes that serve as the boss of our brain, the organizer, strategic planner and Chief Executive Officer of our brain.
• We use executive function when we perform activities such as planning, organizing, strategizing, paying attention to details and remembering information.
When The Boss is Out
• Difficulty with
– Problem solving
– Organization
– Managing behavior
– Mood modulation
– Starting and stopping behaviors
– Staying on task
EF Observable Behavior
• TIME MANAGEMENT
– Finish work on time
– Keep track of time
– Make and keep plans
• ATTENTION
– Stay on task
– Make and act on corrections while speaking, thinking, reading and writing
• ORGANIZING THOUGHTS TO COMMUNICATE THEM
– Ask for what one needs
– Communicate ides in a relevant sequential manner
– Express emotional state thoughtfully
– Act on self-corrections while speaking, thinking, reading and writing
EF Observable Behavior
• PLANNING
– Initiating relevant tasks
– Acting on independently generated ideas or plans
– Planning a project
– Projecting how much time is needed for a project
• MEMORY
– Holding information in working memory
– Retaining and using information in the moment
– Retrieving information from memory
– Keeping track of more than one thing at once
Additional Domains
• IMPULSIVITY
• MOOD MODULATION
• SENSORY STIMULATION
Co-morbid Issues
• ODD
• CD
• Tics
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Social issues
• Self-esteem
Managing ADHD
• Structure
• Organization
• Planning
• Mastery
• Family mission
• Family values
• Clear rules
• Clear expectations
• Clear consequences
Hear You Then.
Time: 11 am in Phoenix 1 pm ET 10 am PT
Cost: First class Free
Call in line: 712-429-0690 pin 884068#.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Thrive with ADHD
There are an estimated 1.46 to 2.46 million children with ADHD in the United States, constituting 3 to 5 percent of the school student population.
It has been documented that approximately 25 to 30 percent of all children with ADHD also have learning disabilities. Likewise, children with ADHD have coexisting psychiatric disorders at a much higher rate.
These children and their parents need the skills to enhance attention, contain impulsivity, increase delay and manage their motors. Join a fruitful conversation as you learn to help your child thrive with ADHD and associated challenges.
Teleconference TUESDAY FEB 3, 2009 Thriving with ADHD - Whether your children are diagnosed with ADHD or not, this teleconference is for you if your children are overactive, impulsive or have executive function challenges.
Time: 11 am in Phoenix 1 pm ET 10 am PT
Cost: First class Free
Call in line: 712-429-0690 pin 884068#.
Hear you there!
It has been documented that approximately 25 to 30 percent of all children with ADHD also have learning disabilities. Likewise, children with ADHD have coexisting psychiatric disorders at a much higher rate.
These children and their parents need the skills to enhance attention, contain impulsivity, increase delay and manage their motors. Join a fruitful conversation as you learn to help your child thrive with ADHD and associated challenges.
Teleconference TUESDAY FEB 3, 2009 Thriving with ADHD - Whether your children are diagnosed with ADHD or not, this teleconference is for you if your children are overactive, impulsive or have executive function challenges.
Time: 11 am in Phoenix 1 pm ET 10 am PT
Cost: First class Free
Call in line: 712-429-0690 pin 884068#.
Hear you there!
Friday, January 30, 2009
Dr. Michele Borba on Manners
Simple Mom-Tested Secrets to Raising Well-Mannered Kids
By Dr. Michele Borba, www.simplemommysecrets.com
Excerpt from 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know: Getting Back to Basics and Raising Happy Kids by Michele Borba (Jossey-Bass Publishers, 2006)
All three of my sons attended a wonderful cooperative nursery school led by an incredibly caring teacher, Jeanette Thompson. The very first impression I had of the school was how well-mannered the children were. And, through the years as I put in my "coop" hours, I understood why her students were so polite: Mrs. Thompson never taught manners at a special time, instead she taught students manners all day long through her own example. Every sentence she ever uttered contained the word "please," "thank you," or "excuse me." It was impossible for her students not to be polite. She used to always tell the moms, "Manners are caught, not taught." Was she ever right! I also learned an important secret from my children's teacher: The first step to teaching kids good manners is to make sure you model them yourself.
Make no mistake, Mom: Courtesy does enhance our kids' chances of success! Scores of studies find that well-mannered children are more popular and do better in school. Notice how often they're invited to others' homes? Kids like to be around kids who are nice. Listen to teachers speak about them using such positive accolades. Courteous children have an edge later in life: the business world clearly tells us their first interview choices are those applicants displaying good social graces. They also get more "second" job interviews, and usually even the job. You just can't help but react positively to people who are polite and courteous. By prioritizing polite behaviors with our children, we can enhance their social competence and give them a big boost towards success. Here are five simple secrets to enhance good social graces in your children and give them that edge for a better life.
* Reward Courtesy. Good manners are among the simplest skills to teach children because they are expressed in just a few very specific behaviors. We can instantly point out good or poor manners to our kids: "Wow, nice manners! Did you notice the smile on Grandma's face when you thanked her for dinner?" or "Eating before waiting for the others to sit down wasn't polite," We can modify our children's manners: "Next time, remember to say 'Excuse Me' when you walk in front of someone." And we can always tune them up: "Before you ask for the dish, say "Please."
* Point Out the Value of Manners. Discuss with your children the value of good manners. You might say, "Using good manners helps you gain the respect of others. It's also a great way to meet new friends. Polite people just make the world a kinder place." Once kids understand the impact good manners have on others, they're more likely to incorporate courtesy in their own behavior.
* Teach a Manner a Week. When my children were young I taught them a jingle, "Hearts, like doors, will open with ease, if you learn to use these keys." We'd then print a manner a week on a large paper key and tape it on our kitchen door as a reminder. Every child in the neighborhood could recite not only our jingle, but name the manners that are the "keys to opening hearts." It helped me recognize "catching new manners" doesn't happen overnight: it takes consistency and effort to enhance them in our kids. So, how about teaching a "Manner a Week"? Write the manner on an index card, post it on your refrigerator, and then hold a contest to see how many times family members hear another member use the word. Here's a few to get you started: "Please., Thank you., May I?, Excuse me, I'm sorry., Pardon me., I'm glad to meet you,, You go first., and May I introduce....?"
* Correct Impoliteness Immediately. When your child uses an impolite comment, immediately correct the behavior by using the three "Bs" of discipline: "Be Brief, Be Private so no one but you and your child is aware you're correcting your child, and Be Specific." Here's how two parents used the three "Bs": Juan's mom waited for a private moment to point out his poor manners to him, "Starting your dinner without waiting first for Grandma to sit down, was impolite. Being polite means always respecting older people." Waiting for the right time when only Juan could hear his mom's correction, preserved his dignity but still let him know his behavior was unacceptable. When Kevin used a racist comment, his father immediately used the three Bs letting him know it was unacceptable: "That was a bigoted comment and could hurt someone's feelings. Please, don't ever use that word again."
* Practice Table Manners. A friend of mine who really wanted to make sure her children "caught good manners" started a unique family tradition: Once a month, she asks her children to help her plan a party. The children plan the menu, set their table--with only their "company dishes"--arrange a centerpiece of hand-picked flowers, and then sit in their "Sunday best." The party is just for their family, and it's the time my friend helps her children practice table manners such as "please pass," "thank you," "May I be excused?" (as well keeping your napkin on your lap, chewing with your mouth closed, waiting for others to speak, and learning which fork to use with each course). Yes, it takes a lot of work, but she swears it's worth it, especially when so many people comment on how well-behaved her children are.
A recent survey conducted by US News & World Report found nine out of ten Americans felt the breakdown of common courtesy has become a serious problem in this country. A huge seventy-eight percent of those polled said manners and good social graces have significantly eroded over past ten years, and is a major contributor to the breakdown of our values in this country. What a sad commentary! Using good manners will enhance your child's reputation in all arenas-home, school, and the community. Besides, kids like to be around other kids who are courteous and nice. So start boosting your child's social graces by using these simple secrets in your family.
Michele Borba, Ed.D. is a mom of three, a former teacher, and renowned educational consultant who has presented workshops to one million parents and teachers worldwide. Dr. Borba is the author of 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know: Getting Back to Basics and Raising Happy Kids (Jossey-Bass, April 2006).She is a frequent guest on Today, The Early Show, The View, and Fox & Friends. She is also the award-winning author of over 20 books including Parents Do Make a Difference, Don't Give Me That Attitude!, No More Misbehavin': 38 Difficult Behaviors and How to Stop Them, and Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me. Dr. Borba is an advisory board member for Parents. For more strategies and tips visit www.simplemommysecrets.com.
© 2006 by Michele Borba www.simplemommysecrets.com.
By Dr. Michele Borba, www.simplemommysecrets.com
Excerpt from 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know: Getting Back to Basics and Raising Happy Kids by Michele Borba (Jossey-Bass Publishers, 2006)
All three of my sons attended a wonderful cooperative nursery school led by an incredibly caring teacher, Jeanette Thompson. The very first impression I had of the school was how well-mannered the children were. And, through the years as I put in my "coop" hours, I understood why her students were so polite: Mrs. Thompson never taught manners at a special time, instead she taught students manners all day long through her own example. Every sentence she ever uttered contained the word "please," "thank you," or "excuse me." It was impossible for her students not to be polite. She used to always tell the moms, "Manners are caught, not taught." Was she ever right! I also learned an important secret from my children's teacher: The first step to teaching kids good manners is to make sure you model them yourself.
Make no mistake, Mom: Courtesy does enhance our kids' chances of success! Scores of studies find that well-mannered children are more popular and do better in school. Notice how often they're invited to others' homes? Kids like to be around kids who are nice. Listen to teachers speak about them using such positive accolades. Courteous children have an edge later in life: the business world clearly tells us their first interview choices are those applicants displaying good social graces. They also get more "second" job interviews, and usually even the job. You just can't help but react positively to people who are polite and courteous. By prioritizing polite behaviors with our children, we can enhance their social competence and give them a big boost towards success. Here are five simple secrets to enhance good social graces in your children and give them that edge for a better life.
* Reward Courtesy. Good manners are among the simplest skills to teach children because they are expressed in just a few very specific behaviors. We can instantly point out good or poor manners to our kids: "Wow, nice manners! Did you notice the smile on Grandma's face when you thanked her for dinner?" or "Eating before waiting for the others to sit down wasn't polite," We can modify our children's manners: "Next time, remember to say 'Excuse Me' when you walk in front of someone." And we can always tune them up: "Before you ask for the dish, say "Please."
* Point Out the Value of Manners. Discuss with your children the value of good manners. You might say, "Using good manners helps you gain the respect of others. It's also a great way to meet new friends. Polite people just make the world a kinder place." Once kids understand the impact good manners have on others, they're more likely to incorporate courtesy in their own behavior.
* Teach a Manner a Week. When my children were young I taught them a jingle, "Hearts, like doors, will open with ease, if you learn to use these keys." We'd then print a manner a week on a large paper key and tape it on our kitchen door as a reminder. Every child in the neighborhood could recite not only our jingle, but name the manners that are the "keys to opening hearts." It helped me recognize "catching new manners" doesn't happen overnight: it takes consistency and effort to enhance them in our kids. So, how about teaching a "Manner a Week"? Write the manner on an index card, post it on your refrigerator, and then hold a contest to see how many times family members hear another member use the word. Here's a few to get you started: "Please., Thank you., May I?, Excuse me, I'm sorry., Pardon me., I'm glad to meet you,, You go first., and May I introduce....?"
* Correct Impoliteness Immediately. When your child uses an impolite comment, immediately correct the behavior by using the three "Bs" of discipline: "Be Brief, Be Private so no one but you and your child is aware you're correcting your child, and Be Specific." Here's how two parents used the three "Bs": Juan's mom waited for a private moment to point out his poor manners to him, "Starting your dinner without waiting first for Grandma to sit down, was impolite. Being polite means always respecting older people." Waiting for the right time when only Juan could hear his mom's correction, preserved his dignity but still let him know his behavior was unacceptable. When Kevin used a racist comment, his father immediately used the three Bs letting him know it was unacceptable: "That was a bigoted comment and could hurt someone's feelings. Please, don't ever use that word again."
* Practice Table Manners. A friend of mine who really wanted to make sure her children "caught good manners" started a unique family tradition: Once a month, she asks her children to help her plan a party. The children plan the menu, set their table--with only their "company dishes"--arrange a centerpiece of hand-picked flowers, and then sit in their "Sunday best." The party is just for their family, and it's the time my friend helps her children practice table manners such as "please pass," "thank you," "May I be excused?" (as well keeping your napkin on your lap, chewing with your mouth closed, waiting for others to speak, and learning which fork to use with each course). Yes, it takes a lot of work, but she swears it's worth it, especially when so many people comment on how well-behaved her children are.
A recent survey conducted by US News & World Report found nine out of ten Americans felt the breakdown of common courtesy has become a serious problem in this country. A huge seventy-eight percent of those polled said manners and good social graces have significantly eroded over past ten years, and is a major contributor to the breakdown of our values in this country. What a sad commentary! Using good manners will enhance your child's reputation in all arenas-home, school, and the community. Besides, kids like to be around other kids who are courteous and nice. So start boosting your child's social graces by using these simple secrets in your family.
Michele Borba, Ed.D. is a mom of three, a former teacher, and renowned educational consultant who has presented workshops to one million parents and teachers worldwide. Dr. Borba is the author of 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know: Getting Back to Basics and Raising Happy Kids (Jossey-Bass, April 2006).She is a frequent guest on Today, The Early Show, The View, and Fox & Friends. She is also the award-winning author of over 20 books including Parents Do Make a Difference, Don't Give Me That Attitude!, No More Misbehavin': 38 Difficult Behaviors and How to Stop Them, and Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me. Dr. Borba is an advisory board member for Parents. For more strategies and tips visit www.simplemommysecrets.com.
© 2006 by Michele Borba www.simplemommysecrets.com.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Peggy Porter Can Change Your Life with Mompreneur Coaching
Peggy Porter is an entrepreneur coach whom I truly respect, read on and see if you are motivated for your better life - today. Best, Dr. K
The month of January is coming to a close and so I encourage you to ask yourself these questions:
Am I TRULY living the life that I want to live, the life I dream off?
Am I creating the business that offers financial prosperity as well as lots of time to spend with family?
Am I taking care of ME? Do I experience joy, vitality and happiness on a daily basis?
Do I love the life I am living while creating the life I want?
Do I want to be entering 2010 in the same place I am today?
If you answered NO to any of these questions, you are not alone. Many Mom Entrepreneurs struggle with bringing their vision for their family and business into reality.
The thing is, IT IS ABSOLUTELY POSSIBLE!
Then WHY do many mom entrepreneurs still struggle from year to year to make the changes they know and want to make?
Because we lose focus and motivation and life gets in the way. Overwhelm sets in as well as fear and self doubt and before we know it, another year rolls by and we are in the same place as we were last year.
How do I know this? Because it all happened to me on more than one occasion.
So are you tired of living this struggle? Are you REALLY READY to make some changes and DO things differently this year? Are you ready to think bigger about what your life can truly be?
I want to help you reach all your goals in 2009. How do I know I can do this? Because I know how effective having a coach can be. All the times I have been involved with a coach or a coaching program has been the time when I have experienced the most personal and professional growth AND I know the results clients have gotten from working with me. Coaching gives you the accountability, focus and structure that is needed to reach goals.
Presently, I have two openings for private platinum clients. This is a very structured, focused year long one on one coaching program. It will get you results if you are ready to make the commitments and step into the possibilities for your life and business.
This is what you will get as a platinum client...
Mom Entrepreneur Platinum Program
This is a 12 month program for the motivated Mom Entrepreneur who is ready to make the commitment to turn her life and business around!
Year long programs are not for everyone but they are for the client who wants to create a compelling vision for their life and business, break through barriers, set big, bold goals, and create clear action steps with weekly accountability.
The Platinum program consists of:
* 90 minute life assessment and goal setting call at the beginning of the program
* 3-1 hour sessions each and every month
* Monthly checklists to keep focused and on track
* Monthly goal setting on eliminating clutter, energy drains and tolerations
* Creating and committing to regular routines of self care
* 90 minute assessment at the 6 month mark
* Mp3 downloadable recording of each call
* Unlimited email coaching for the entire year
Sound like something you are be interested in? Email me or call 506-651-4550 before Feb 1, 2009 and we will set up an appointment to discuss the program and its suitability for you.
There is a quote that always comes to mind when I am feeling stuck...
"If you always do what you always did,
you will always get what you always got."
Are you ready to do things different? Email me at peggy@seekingbalance.ca
To Your Mom Entrepreneur Success,
Peggy Porter
The month of January is coming to a close and so I encourage you to ask yourself these questions:
Am I TRULY living the life that I want to live, the life I dream off?
Am I creating the business that offers financial prosperity as well as lots of time to spend with family?
Am I taking care of ME? Do I experience joy, vitality and happiness on a daily basis?
Do I love the life I am living while creating the life I want?
Do I want to be entering 2010 in the same place I am today?
If you answered NO to any of these questions, you are not alone. Many Mom Entrepreneurs struggle with bringing their vision for their family and business into reality.
The thing is, IT IS ABSOLUTELY POSSIBLE!
Then WHY do many mom entrepreneurs still struggle from year to year to make the changes they know and want to make?
Because we lose focus and motivation and life gets in the way. Overwhelm sets in as well as fear and self doubt and before we know it, another year rolls by and we are in the same place as we were last year.
How do I know this? Because it all happened to me on more than one occasion.
So are you tired of living this struggle? Are you REALLY READY to make some changes and DO things differently this year? Are you ready to think bigger about what your life can truly be?
I want to help you reach all your goals in 2009. How do I know I can do this? Because I know how effective having a coach can be. All the times I have been involved with a coach or a coaching program has been the time when I have experienced the most personal and professional growth AND I know the results clients have gotten from working with me. Coaching gives you the accountability, focus and structure that is needed to reach goals.
Presently, I have two openings for private platinum clients. This is a very structured, focused year long one on one coaching program. It will get you results if you are ready to make the commitments and step into the possibilities for your life and business.
This is what you will get as a platinum client...
Mom Entrepreneur Platinum Program
This is a 12 month program for the motivated Mom Entrepreneur who is ready to make the commitment to turn her life and business around!
Year long programs are not for everyone but they are for the client who wants to create a compelling vision for their life and business, break through barriers, set big, bold goals, and create clear action steps with weekly accountability.
The Platinum program consists of:
* 90 minute life assessment and goal setting call at the beginning of the program
* 3-1 hour sessions each and every month
* Monthly checklists to keep focused and on track
* Monthly goal setting on eliminating clutter, energy drains and tolerations
* Creating and committing to regular routines of self care
* 90 minute assessment at the 6 month mark
* Mp3 downloadable recording of each call
* Unlimited email coaching for the entire year
Sound like something you are be interested in? Email me or call 506-651-4550 before Feb 1, 2009 and we will set up an appointment to discuss the program and its suitability for you.
There is a quote that always comes to mind when I am feeling stuck...
"If you always do what you always did,
you will always get what you always got."
Are you ready to do things different? Email me at peggy@seekingbalance.ca
To Your Mom Entrepreneur Success,
Peggy Porter
Monday, January 12, 2009
Twitter Moms Blog
It's official, TwitterMoms now has featured contributors! Look for fun, thought-provoking posts everyday. Read the latest in parenting, home & food, style, health & fitness, travel, money & business and a completely upgraded TwitterMom of the Week (could it be you?).
Announcing the TwitterMoms Featured Contributors
We reviewed hundreds of applications for featured contributors, and may I just say, you ladies are all very impressive! But I did have to select a limited number -- this go around! Our featured contributors are volunteers, and as we get further along we will add more featured contributors from our membership. Stay tuned! But, without further adieu, it is with great pleasure to introduce you to our new featured contributors:
* For all you moms out there, Molly Balient, Terreece Clarke and Lynne Kenney will be posting stories and advice on parenting.
* Laura Zavelson, Mary and Beth Ann Bentley will be covering crafting, decorating and all things home & food.
* To keep up on the latest fashion and beauty trends, check out Kristen Andrews style blog - she's got all the inside scoop.
* Holly Rigsby and Lisa Druxman will be sharing their expertise for losing weight and keeping fit in 2009 in the health & fitness section.
* And, if you are taking a vacation this year or just want to live vicariously through a mom traveling Europe with her husband, child and dog, be sure to read the latest from Alice Griffin and Jamie Pearson.
* Beth Feldman, Lyn Mettler and Lauren Barack will be helping us keep our businesses and finances in order with their advice and expertise in money & business.
* Finally, Lea Curtes Swenson will be introducing us to the TwitterMom of the Week every Monday!
Join us! www.twittermoms.com/profile/LynneKenney
Announcing the TwitterMoms Featured Contributors
We reviewed hundreds of applications for featured contributors, and may I just say, you ladies are all very impressive! But I did have to select a limited number -- this go around! Our featured contributors are volunteers, and as we get further along we will add more featured contributors from our membership. Stay tuned! But, without further adieu, it is with great pleasure to introduce you to our new featured contributors:
* For all you moms out there, Molly Balient, Terreece Clarke and Lynne Kenney will be posting stories and advice on parenting.
* Laura Zavelson, Mary and Beth Ann Bentley will be covering crafting, decorating and all things home & food.
* To keep up on the latest fashion and beauty trends, check out Kristen Andrews style blog - she's got all the inside scoop.
* Holly Rigsby and Lisa Druxman will be sharing their expertise for losing weight and keeping fit in 2009 in the health & fitness section.
* And, if you are taking a vacation this year or just want to live vicariously through a mom traveling Europe with her husband, child and dog, be sure to read the latest from Alice Griffin and Jamie Pearson.
* Beth Feldman, Lyn Mettler and Lauren Barack will be helping us keep our businesses and finances in order with their advice and expertise in money & business.
* Finally, Lea Curtes Swenson will be introducing us to the TwitterMom of the Week every Monday!
Join us! www.twittermoms.com/profile/LynneKenney
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Think Thin with Dr. Fred From MotherHoodLater.com
I think we can all remember back when it was "so easy" to lose weight - if not so easy then at least easier than it is now. Time is definitely not our friend when it comes to weight loss, especially for women. The reason for this is mainly the hormonal changes that start to occur at this stage of life. That's right, peri-menopausal changes. These changes start anywhere from 35 to 40 and will last until you start to experience the more common menopausal symptoms like hot flashes, memory loss, and vaginal dryness - to name a few.
I have designed a program with stubborn weight loss issues in mind. These issues are interesting because many women complain of the inability to lose weight after having children (but that has never stopped Angelina Jolie) or some women find that for the first time in their lives, without changing the way they eat, they are finding that the pounds just keep piling on. It's all about hormones! The diet program I recommend is geared toward regulating those hormones and allowing you to lose weight and, most importantly, to stay healthy while setting a good example for your children.
In my first diet book for adults, Thin For Good, there are specific chapters designed for both men and women at different times in their lives. My more recent book, The Hamptons Diet, applies more to everyone and includes all of the insight I've gained since the first book was written. Each book has over 200 recipes. The Hamptons Diet Cookbook is also available if you truly get hooked on this way of eating.
In case you don't want to buy the books, allow me to share the top ten tips for losing weight (at any age!)
Cut out Sugar!
Seems simple enough, right? Yet sugar can be found in most foods. In fact, there are 300 foods that the government says do not have to include the sugar content in the ingredients label although the food does contain sugar (such as iodized salt - most iodized salts add sugar to keep the grains from sticking together). Did you know that ketchup contains more sugar than ice cream? How can you find the hidden sugars? Look at the ingredients list for words that end in "-ose" or "-ol" - these are sugars. Fruit juice should be avoided - studies show that those who consume more fruit juice are more prone to obesity and diabetes. Soda is also loaded with sugar. You may be hearing a lot about high fructose corn syrup these day too - what you may not know is that this product is even more deadly than regular sugar. Be wary of labels that say "no sugar added" - check the ingredients list. You will be surprised at what you find!
Note: Stevia (a non-caloric herb) is a good and healthy sugar substitute that can easily be found in a health food store.
Eradicate Simple Carbohydrates from your Diet:
That means bye-bye to all the "white" foods such as bread, pasta, pretzels, etc. They are metabolized in the body just like sugar. I should also mention that honey, succanat, and agave are still just sugars albeit in a "healthier" form; yet for the purposes of losing weight, they are metabolized in the body identically to sugar so get rid of them.
Cut out "Diet" Products:
Most of these will contain an artificial sweetener of some kind. Not only are these toxic chemicals which will kill you at some point, but they set up blood sugar reactions in the body and will have you craving sweets just as if you were eating sugar.
Choose Lean Proteins:
Don't be afraid of meat or eggs. They fire up the metabolism and it is okay to eat eggs every morning. 80% of the cholesterol in your blood stream is produced by the liver and not by what you eat - a very common medical myth. I would advise eating organic animal products whenever possible.
Choose Healthier Snacks:
Cheese, nuts, nut butters, seeds are all significantly heart healthy snacks. The fatty acids found in these products not only satisfy hunger, and boost your metabolism but will also aid in decreasing cholesterol and raising the healthy HDL cholesterol.
Vegetables are you Friends:
So many of us forget that vegetables are a wonderful source of carbohydrates and fiber. They are filling and most of them are filled with lots of water hence giving them the ability to satiate you.
Drink Plenty of Water:
You should be drinking about ½ your body weight in ounces of water each day. I know that sounds like a lot, but once you start doing it you will start to feel the thirst. This helps to flush out toxins and keep your bowels moving regularly.
Eat at Home More Often:
Not only will this save you money but you will know exactly what is in your food; no guess work and no added growth hormones or antibiotic residue from non-organic or non-natural food.
Exercise:
This not only decreases stress levels which decrease cortisol levels (the hormone that increases fatty deposition around the mid section) but also helps in the weight loss process. Even if you only exercise for a few minutes a day - it's better than nothing.
Get a Buddy:
If all else fails, get support from those around you. Encourage your husband, a girlfriend or anyone to join in with you. It is easier as a team. And if your family doesn't go along willingly, if you do the shopping and the cooking, then they will be forced to eat what you are eating - don't buy foods just for them. If they want something different, they can go to the store themselves.
Good Luck and Happy New Year!
Think Thin in 2009
Tips for Healthy Weight Loss
Dr. Fred Pescatore, MD, MPH, CCN
from www.motherhoodlater.com
Dr. Fred Pescatore, MD, MPH, CCN is a regular contributor to the MLTS Newsletter. He is the author of The New York Times best-selling book, The Hampton's Diet, and The Hampton's Diet Cookbook, which combine the Mediterranean lifestyle with the palates of Americans emphasizing a whole foods approach to health and weight management. He lectures around the world and has been seen on such televisions shows as, NBC's Today Show and ABC's The View. He is a correspondent for Women's World, First for Women, In Touch, US Weekly and Life & Style magazines.
I have designed a program with stubborn weight loss issues in mind. These issues are interesting because many women complain of the inability to lose weight after having children (but that has never stopped Angelina Jolie) or some women find that for the first time in their lives, without changing the way they eat, they are finding that the pounds just keep piling on. It's all about hormones! The diet program I recommend is geared toward regulating those hormones and allowing you to lose weight and, most importantly, to stay healthy while setting a good example for your children.
In my first diet book for adults, Thin For Good, there are specific chapters designed for both men and women at different times in their lives. My more recent book, The Hamptons Diet, applies more to everyone and includes all of the insight I've gained since the first book was written. Each book has over 200 recipes. The Hamptons Diet Cookbook is also available if you truly get hooked on this way of eating.
In case you don't want to buy the books, allow me to share the top ten tips for losing weight (at any age!)
Cut out Sugar!
Seems simple enough, right? Yet sugar can be found in most foods. In fact, there are 300 foods that the government says do not have to include the sugar content in the ingredients label although the food does contain sugar (such as iodized salt - most iodized salts add sugar to keep the grains from sticking together). Did you know that ketchup contains more sugar than ice cream? How can you find the hidden sugars? Look at the ingredients list for words that end in "-ose" or "-ol" - these are sugars. Fruit juice should be avoided - studies show that those who consume more fruit juice are more prone to obesity and diabetes. Soda is also loaded with sugar. You may be hearing a lot about high fructose corn syrup these day too - what you may not know is that this product is even more deadly than regular sugar. Be wary of labels that say "no sugar added" - check the ingredients list. You will be surprised at what you find!
Note: Stevia (a non-caloric herb) is a good and healthy sugar substitute that can easily be found in a health food store.
Eradicate Simple Carbohydrates from your Diet:
That means bye-bye to all the "white" foods such as bread, pasta, pretzels, etc. They are metabolized in the body just like sugar. I should also mention that honey, succanat, and agave are still just sugars albeit in a "healthier" form; yet for the purposes of losing weight, they are metabolized in the body identically to sugar so get rid of them.
Cut out "Diet" Products:
Most of these will contain an artificial sweetener of some kind. Not only are these toxic chemicals which will kill you at some point, but they set up blood sugar reactions in the body and will have you craving sweets just as if you were eating sugar.
Choose Lean Proteins:
Don't be afraid of meat or eggs. They fire up the metabolism and it is okay to eat eggs every morning. 80% of the cholesterol in your blood stream is produced by the liver and not by what you eat - a very common medical myth. I would advise eating organic animal products whenever possible.
Choose Healthier Snacks:
Cheese, nuts, nut butters, seeds are all significantly heart healthy snacks. The fatty acids found in these products not only satisfy hunger, and boost your metabolism but will also aid in decreasing cholesterol and raising the healthy HDL cholesterol.
Vegetables are you Friends:
So many of us forget that vegetables are a wonderful source of carbohydrates and fiber. They are filling and most of them are filled with lots of water hence giving them the ability to satiate you.
Drink Plenty of Water:
You should be drinking about ½ your body weight in ounces of water each day. I know that sounds like a lot, but once you start doing it you will start to feel the thirst. This helps to flush out toxins and keep your bowels moving regularly.
Eat at Home More Often:
Not only will this save you money but you will know exactly what is in your food; no guess work and no added growth hormones or antibiotic residue from non-organic or non-natural food.
Exercise:
This not only decreases stress levels which decrease cortisol levels (the hormone that increases fatty deposition around the mid section) but also helps in the weight loss process. Even if you only exercise for a few minutes a day - it's better than nothing.
Get a Buddy:
If all else fails, get support from those around you. Encourage your husband, a girlfriend or anyone to join in with you. It is easier as a team. And if your family doesn't go along willingly, if you do the shopping and the cooking, then they will be forced to eat what you are eating - don't buy foods just for them. If they want something different, they can go to the store themselves.
Good Luck and Happy New Year!
Think Thin in 2009
Tips for Healthy Weight Loss
Dr. Fred Pescatore, MD, MPH, CCN
from www.motherhoodlater.com
Dr. Fred Pescatore, MD, MPH, CCN is a regular contributor to the MLTS Newsletter. He is the author of The New York Times best-selling book, The Hampton's Diet, and The Hampton's Diet Cookbook, which combine the Mediterranean lifestyle with the palates of Americans emphasizing a whole foods approach to health and weight management. He lectures around the world and has been seen on such televisions shows as, NBC's Today Show and ABC's The View. He is a correspondent for Women's World, First for Women, In Touch, US Weekly and Life & Style magazines.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Financial Tips with Michelle Evard
Listen in to Michelle Evard http://www.blogtalkradio.com/The-Family-Coach Thursday January 8, 2009 1pm ET as we discuss money saving tips for 2009.
1. If you are trying stay on a budget, use cash instead of credit cards. When you do this, go to the ATM on a certain day and take out a certain amt. For example, I take out $200/wk and once that is gone, I know I cannot go out to dinner or pick up the dry cleaning.
2. If trying to save on food, read the flyers and buy more of the big items when they are on sale. Big items include meat, milk, bread – things you use all the time. Utilize coupons and buy produce that is in season.
3. If your child does activities and they would like to join all of them, give them a choice of 2 or 3 they can join and see if the local community center, YMCA or school already has a program. That way you do not have to pay full price for them. Stay away from traveling teams until your child narrows down what they like – so you aren’t spending needless amounts of money on gas and travel.
4. When you child is old enough to understand – usually around 7 or 8 – put them on a budget. For example, they are allowed $50 a month, if they ruin the carpet or you have to fix the neighbors house because they were careless, that $50 go towards their mistakes. You aren’t punishing them with money, you are showing them that those things cost money and that it doesn’t grow on trees.
5. For older children in high school, give them monetary rewards for finishing school, getting good grades, etc. It will have limits though, they have to use the money to invest and to grow, they can’t just spend it. This way they understand using their money to grow their net worth instead of buying material items.
1. If you are trying stay on a budget, use cash instead of credit cards. When you do this, go to the ATM on a certain day and take out a certain amt. For example, I take out $200/wk and once that is gone, I know I cannot go out to dinner or pick up the dry cleaning.
2. If trying to save on food, read the flyers and buy more of the big items when they are on sale. Big items include meat, milk, bread – things you use all the time. Utilize coupons and buy produce that is in season.
3. If your child does activities and they would like to join all of them, give them a choice of 2 or 3 they can join and see if the local community center, YMCA or school already has a program. That way you do not have to pay full price for them. Stay away from traveling teams until your child narrows down what they like – so you aren’t spending needless amounts of money on gas and travel.
4. When you child is old enough to understand – usually around 7 or 8 – put them on a budget. For example, they are allowed $50 a month, if they ruin the carpet or you have to fix the neighbors house because they were careless, that $50 go towards their mistakes. You aren’t punishing them with money, you are showing them that those things cost money and that it doesn’t grow on trees.
5. For older children in high school, give them monetary rewards for finishing school, getting good grades, etc. It will have limits though, they have to use the money to invest and to grow, they can’t just spend it. This way they understand using their money to grow their net worth instead of buying material items.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Seven Goal Setting Steps
Step #1: Consider all that you have accomplished since in 2008. Write down what has worked for you. What you wish to continue to achieve as a family and what goals you’d like to set for the next quarter.
Step #2: Write down 1-3 goals per domain in any of the domains that you value. Make your goals SMART - Specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. Consider goals for health, family time, behavior, school, friends, spirituality, sports, nutrition, hobbies, sports and personal time.
Step #3: Choose one goal at a time to work toward. Establish short-time frames to maximize success. If you are setting a health or exercise goal begin with small steps. As an example, “I will walk Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 7am-7:30 for two weeks.”
Step #4: Keep track of your daily progress toward goals by writing in a journal, jotting a note on your calendar or keeping track online.
Step #5: Reward yourself for small successes. Take yourself out to a movie, have tea with a friend or set aside an hour on a Sunday to read a book as a reward for your progress.
Step #6: Revise your goal if it was not attainable.
Step #7: Choose a new domain or goal within the domain you are currently working on. By taking small steps, monitoring your progress and rewarding yourself, you will remain mindful of your goal and move in the direction of success!
Step #2: Write down 1-3 goals per domain in any of the domains that you value. Make your goals SMART - Specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. Consider goals for health, family time, behavior, school, friends, spirituality, sports, nutrition, hobbies, sports and personal time.
Step #3: Choose one goal at a time to work toward. Establish short-time frames to maximize success. If you are setting a health or exercise goal begin with small steps. As an example, “I will walk Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 7am-7:30 for two weeks.”
Step #4: Keep track of your daily progress toward goals by writing in a journal, jotting a note on your calendar or keeping track online.
Step #5: Reward yourself for small successes. Take yourself out to a movie, have tea with a friend or set aside an hour on a Sunday to read a book as a reward for your progress.
Step #6: Revise your goal if it was not attainable.
Step #7: Choose a new domain or goal within the domain you are currently working on. By taking small steps, monitoring your progress and rewarding yourself, you will remain mindful of your goal and move in the direction of success!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Motherhood is an Emotional Rollercoaster Ride
Motherhood is an emotional rollercoaster ride with all the highs and lows, twists and turns, and nauseating moments you get from the one at your local amusement park. However, unlike your typical two-minute ride, this one lasts a lifetime and begins moments after you pee on a stick.
Hop in and I’ll share a seat with you on my rollercoaster ride so far!
* When I found out I was pregnant, I was elated. I couldn’t wait to be a mommy, again and again.
* During the first trimester, I panicked. What came in the easy way, had to come out the hard way.
* During the second trimester, I was calm. I knew if millions of women could deliver babies, so could I.
* During the third trimester, I was desperate. I felt like I couldn’t wait another minute to get my body back again.
* The moment my children were born, I felt relief. They were healthy.
* Three days post-partum, I was depressed. I couldn’t bear the fact that one day my babies would leave home. Yes, only three days later. While that thought still brings tears to my eyes, the baby blues made me sob at the unbearable notion.
* Three weeks post-partum, I was overwhelmed. How could I possibly take care of a baby, then a toddler and baby, then two kids and a baby all by myself during the day?
* Three months post-partum I felt capable. I had mastered breastfeeding, the car seat and how to get a shower in during the day.
It’s been over ten years since I started this rollercoaster ride and during that time I’ve also felt:
* Immense pride for all that my children are . . . smart, beautiful, thoughtful, fun, generous, polite, creative . . .
* Guilty for raising my voice, being impatient and taking my stress out on them.
* Crippling worry about their emotional and physical well-being.
* Grateful to be blessed with three incredible daughters.
* Stressed at the amount of tasks I have to do while being the primary caregiver.
* Lucky to be their mommy.
* Angry when they are disrespectful to me.
* Content knowing that my decision to not work outside the home was the right one for me.
* Regret on days I’ve spent more time nagging than playing.
* Happy just being with my daughters.
I know there will be more highs and lows on this emotional rollercoaster, but there’s no better ride than motherhood!
Written by: Shannon Hutton http://www.sparkplugging.com/believer-in-balance/
Hop in and I’ll share a seat with you on my rollercoaster ride so far!
* When I found out I was pregnant, I was elated. I couldn’t wait to be a mommy, again and again.
* During the first trimester, I panicked. What came in the easy way, had to come out the hard way.
* During the second trimester, I was calm. I knew if millions of women could deliver babies, so could I.
* During the third trimester, I was desperate. I felt like I couldn’t wait another minute to get my body back again.
* The moment my children were born, I felt relief. They were healthy.
* Three days post-partum, I was depressed. I couldn’t bear the fact that one day my babies would leave home. Yes, only three days later. While that thought still brings tears to my eyes, the baby blues made me sob at the unbearable notion.
* Three weeks post-partum, I was overwhelmed. How could I possibly take care of a baby, then a toddler and baby, then two kids and a baby all by myself during the day?
* Three months post-partum I felt capable. I had mastered breastfeeding, the car seat and how to get a shower in during the day.
It’s been over ten years since I started this rollercoaster ride and during that time I’ve also felt:
* Immense pride for all that my children are . . . smart, beautiful, thoughtful, fun, generous, polite, creative . . .
* Guilty for raising my voice, being impatient and taking my stress out on them.
* Crippling worry about their emotional and physical well-being.
* Grateful to be blessed with three incredible daughters.
* Stressed at the amount of tasks I have to do while being the primary caregiver.
* Lucky to be their mommy.
* Angry when they are disrespectful to me.
* Content knowing that my decision to not work outside the home was the right one for me.
* Regret on days I’ve spent more time nagging than playing.
* Happy just being with my daughters.
I know there will be more highs and lows on this emotional rollercoaster, but there’s no better ride than motherhood!
Written by: Shannon Hutton http://www.sparkplugging.com/believer-in-balance/
Sunday, December 28, 2008
2009 Teleconference Schedule
You asked... Now They're Here!
Teleconferences 2009
With Dr. Lynne Kenney
Tuesdays at 11 am we're the Lunch Bunch
Learning What it Takes To Create Your Extraordinary Family
Join in, Chime in, Offer Ideas - "Cause Mom Knows Best"
January 2009 11 am-12 pm MT
6th Lead your life don’t be led by it
13th Building health and reducing stress with routines
20th Asserting your family values leads to effective discipline
27th Getting your children to do as expected
February 2009 11 am-12 pm MT
3rd Thriving with ADHD
10th Seek to understand before you intervene
17th The Thinker and The Caveman
24th School strategies for success
March 2009 11 am-12 pm MT
3rd Sensory interventions for today’s children
10th Parental Teamwork – RESPECT RULES
17th Collaborating with oppositional children
24th Managing anger and anxiety in children
Sign-up for Dr. Kenney’s Teleconferences at www.lynnekenney.com
$59.00 Per Month
Call-in Information will be sent via email upon registration
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
The Family Coach as a lot planned for 2009!
The Family Coach is an educational service provided by North Scottsdale Pediatrics. Family Coaching regards you, the parent, as the expert. Through coaching we identify your goals for Better Family Living and we implement strategies for success.
Families improve skills in the following areas:
• Family behavior and discipline
• Family health and wellness
• Family schedules & routines
• Improving attention and focus
• Improving friendship skills
• Improving school success
• Parenting with confidence
• Parenting with consistency
• Working together with the other parent
We will be doing a teleconference series for families who wish to enhance their family lives.
We are also teaming with Pediatric Speech-Language Specialists (Anita Werner) and On Track Tutoring (Dana Herzberg) for a free in-school educational lecture series for teachers and parents.
We have classes planned for 2009 as well.
Family coaching in home or at school is also on the menu.
Visit www.lynnekenney.com for more information.
Families improve skills in the following areas:
• Family behavior and discipline
• Family health and wellness
• Family schedules & routines
• Improving attention and focus
• Improving friendship skills
• Improving school success
• Parenting with confidence
• Parenting with consistency
• Working together with the other parent
We will be doing a teleconference series for families who wish to enhance their family lives.
We are also teaming with Pediatric Speech-Language Specialists (Anita Werner) and On Track Tutoring (Dana Herzberg) for a free in-school educational lecture series for teachers and parents.
We have classes planned for 2009 as well.
Family coaching in home or at school is also on the menu.
Visit www.lynnekenney.com for more information.
Monday, December 22, 2008
What your kids need most this holiday season
While we are busy shopping and wrapping presents I was reminded what our children need most this holiday season.
Alone time with mom or dad.
A date with their favorite family member.
To give time at a local charity.
Presents that keep them active not just sitting around.
Music lessons.
Time playing sports with mom or dad.
A good bedtime story.
Their manners, don't forget yours either.
Remember, your child's favorite toy is you.
Happy Holidays! Dr. K.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
How Moms Shop Online
Study: Mothers Know Best for Online Shopping
Moms were also more likely than non-moms to single out customer product reviews or ratings as the most influential source for obtaining holiday gift information
Dec 17, 2008
By Katy Bachman
Mom knows best when it comes to shopping, and there's a good reason for it: She's big on conducting research before plunking down the dollars. That's according to results from a new Mindshare Online Research study released Tuesday (Dec. 16) that found that 61 percent of moms research holiday gifts compared to only 48 percent of non-moms.
Moms were also more likely than non-moms to single out customer product reviews or ratings as the most influential source for obtaining holiday gift information, 23 percent versus 12 percent.
Another valuable tool is the Internet with 54 percent of all shoppers surveyed doing the bulk of holiday shopping online.
Overall, women are the family members most likely to handle the holiday shopping--77 percent of women compared to 36 percent for men.
As expected, 64 percent of all shoppers said they expect to spend less on gifts this year than previous year and more than three-fourths said they will shop around to find the best prices.
Conducted in December by BuzzBack Market Research, Mindshare's online study was based on a survey of 350 adults.
Moms were also more likely than non-moms to single out customer product reviews or ratings as the most influential source for obtaining holiday gift information
Dec 17, 2008
By Katy Bachman
Mom knows best when it comes to shopping, and there's a good reason for it: She's big on conducting research before plunking down the dollars. That's according to results from a new Mindshare Online Research study released Tuesday (Dec. 16) that found that 61 percent of moms research holiday gifts compared to only 48 percent of non-moms.
Moms were also more likely than non-moms to single out customer product reviews or ratings as the most influential source for obtaining holiday gift information, 23 percent versus 12 percent.
Another valuable tool is the Internet with 54 percent of all shoppers surveyed doing the bulk of holiday shopping online.
Overall, women are the family members most likely to handle the holiday shopping--77 percent of women compared to 36 percent for men.
As expected, 64 percent of all shoppers said they expect to spend less on gifts this year than previous year and more than three-fourths said they will shop around to find the best prices.
Conducted in December by BuzzBack Market Research, Mindshare's online study was based on a survey of 350 adults.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Defining Yourself as an Entrepreneur
Yvette Craddock decided her entrepreneurial fate at six years of age. In 2002, she began her journey by establishing Click Marketing Solutions, a full-service marketing firm, which received immediate industry recognition and has garnered over a dozen awards, including international recognition. In 2008, Yvette launched another business that derives from her personal passion for fashion. ShopStyleFolio.com is devoted to bold, modern and luxurious women’s jewelry and offers only one of each item. Through her entrepreneurial outlets, she continues to design her life and inspire others. www.click-marketing.net
4 P’s
Path - What activities/interests are you attracted to; people or causes.
Passion – What are your strengths; things that you do effortlessly for free if you had to.
Purpose – Combine path and passion to define opportunities for change in your area of expertise/interest.
Plan - What is your realistic, comprehensive business plan? How does that factor into your life plan.
Visit Yvette Craddock at
www.click-marketing.net
www.twittermoms.com/profile/LynneKenney
4 P’s
Path - What activities/interests are you attracted to; people or causes.
Passion – What are your strengths; things that you do effortlessly for free if you had to.
Purpose – Combine path and passion to define opportunities for change in your area of expertise/interest.
Plan - What is your realistic, comprehensive business plan? How does that factor into your life plan.
Visit Yvette Craddock at
www.click-marketing.net
www.twittermoms.com/profile/LynneKenney
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