Model Behavior - Lead By Example

Following our conscience can be tough at any age. But, for children, whose conscience is still developing, it can be a real challenge. So, how can you help your child do the right thing when faced with a dilemma? Here are some helpful hints to get (and keep) your child on the right track.

• Lead by example – We all have situations that require us to make moral decisions. When these situations arise, make sure you’re doing the right thing yourself, and make sure to talk about it with your kids. I’m not talking about tooting your own horn. But, if you’re in a sticky situation and your child is aware of it, letting them know that you had a choice to make – and that the choice was difficult, will help them to think through situations when they arise. If they see you taking the moral high ground, they’ll be much more likely to do so as well.

• Teach empathy – Let your children see situations that help them develop empathy. We’re often so consumed with providing a good life for our children, that we fail to show our children that not everyone has it as good. Why not spend part of this Thanksgiving serving meals at a soup kitchen? Or helping out with Toys for Tots this Christmas? When your children develop empathy for others, they’re more likely to consider how their decisions might hurt other people. This gives them that little “voice” that helps them do the right thing.

• Praise Positive Behavior - When you witness your child doing the right thing, point it out. Sharing their toys, cleaning up a mess they made without being told, and following the rules at home without complaint are all situations that deserve your praise. If you make your children feel good about doing the right thing, they’ll want to do it.

• Have Appropriate Consequences for Not Doing the Right Thing – Sometimes, when your children choose not to do the right thing, the results include lying, cheating and stealing. These behaviors should be addressed with consequences that they’ll remember. Don’t cover up for your child help him be accountable.

For instance, if you catch your child stealing, you should make him return the item to the owner at once, and fess up to what he did as part of the punishment. It’s likely that having to own up to what he did will teach him a lesson he’ll never forget.

It is possible to raise empathetic, sympathetic and caring kids in today’s self absorbed world. It just takes some attention, calm and caring on your part.