I said, "Make your bed!"

Getting kids to complete tasks of every day living is important to their development.

If each morning you hear yourself saying, "I said, brush your teeth," or "I said, make your bed," consider the value of clear expectations.

Instead of making a battle out of it, consider your approach. Are you clear in what you expect? Do you assert your expectations modeling peace not anger? Are you enhancing family relationships over asserting control.

Teach your children the value of contributions early on. Do it peacefully and calmly and simply expect that it will be done.

Tasks: Are part of being a healthy family.

"We use task lists to keep the children focused on their brief responsibilities each morning," says Diana from Chicago.

Diana offers this advice,"At our house, the kids are expected to help the “family community” for which they do not get paid money. Just as I make their breakfast or dinner and do their laundry, they have ways in which they contribute to the community. Making their bed, wiping the sink after they brush their teeth, setting the dinner table, and clearing their plates from the table are typical every day expectations."

Make each child a task list and hang them on the bathroom mirror. These are tasks of daily living and do not confer money they are just a part of being a responsible family member.

Establish a weekly task routine. Make play dates, sports and family fun dependent on their accomplishing specific tasks. It's very simple, you give to the family and the family gives back.

Write the tasks down.

JAMES, age 9

Get up
Make bed
Get dressed
Put PJs under pillow
Eat breakfast
Clear the table
Brush teeth
Brush hair
Get backpack
Out the door

Place a 4 x 6 task card on the mirror in the bathroom for each child to check off daily.

"This helps the children feel some mastery over their daily activities, they don't have to keep checking with me to guide their responsibilities, they know clearly what they are," offers Diana.

Chores: Teach children the value of money.

Remember, children do not earn money for doing what is expected. They are expected to be a productive part of the family, their tasks are a piece of that, just as listening respectfully and being kind are expected.

Jane from Scottsdale agrees. "We have some “chores” for which they may get allowance if they choose to help out. Each chore is assigned a specific fee, if they do a chore on the “Family Helper” list, they will get paid every Friday," reports Jane.

"On Saturday there is a pretty good chance that our preschool and school-age children will help out, as they can earn valuable spending money for their participation. This money goes to things they care about like horseback riding, going to the water park and having movie night at home. Without hard work there are no horses and there are no sleep-overs, that's just the way it is," Jane says confidently.

Model your values.

If you are going to give allowance for everyday household tasks, make sure you establish a specific amount, be consistent in giving it out each week and make sure the children complete the tasks assigned to earn allowance.

It is important to also suggest that children do not need to "consume" everything they like. Children can enjoy things in a store and leave them in a store. Life is not about accumulating stuff it's about caring for people.

Kim from Boston offers some clear advice, "When we go to the store, I do not agree to buy them small toys or objects that they can purchase with their allowance. We have a ten dollar per week maximum of allowance earned and they can use that to buy the newest Polly Pocket or Lego toy."

"Further, they are encouraged to put one dollar in savings and one dollar in our “community jar” to give away at the holidays to families in need. If every child contributes, they often have more than one hundred dollars to give away at the holidays, which teaches them to be compassionate as well as generous. They learn the value of hard work early with a spend, save, and donate system," asserts Kim.

Consider delineating what are expected family contributions in your home. Create a morning and evening task list for each child. Keep it simple with (3-8) discrete tasks. If you wish to help your children learn about money management, develop a chore list, assign fees, and encourage your children to spend, save and give.

Teach your children the value of contributing to the family in the early years.