Family meetings can be a valuable way to make family decisions, communicate information and discuss issues. Many families have never had a meeting, and aren’t really sure how to use this forum with their families. Your family meeting is the time to share opinions, reflect on current events, talk about life experiences, plan for the future and solve challenges. They can be structured or unstructured, just make sure that everyone has a say in how the meeting will be conducted. One family I know begins with an agenda, another passes around the "talking stick" so one person speaks at a time.
Here are some tips to get you started with your family meeting.
• They need not be a formal affair– Family meetings don’t require a lot of pomp and circumstance, just that everyone is present and tuned into the matter at hand. They can be held during dinner if that’s what’s most convenient.
• Use this time to praise in front of everyone– Offer congratulations for accomplishments at family meetings. Let everyone have the chance to recognize other family members.
• Keep it positive - Sometimes family meetings will have to address negative issues, but if you keep the tone of the meetings positive overall, they’re more likely to be viewed as helpful by your family.
• Family meetings are not group punishment – If your children are driving you nuts, busting their collective chops in a family meeting is not the answer. You don’t want your kids to dread family meetings. This is also not the time to single out a child for something they’ve done wrong. Do that in private.
• Family meetings are not for “laying down the law”, either – Successful family meetings involve everyone providing their opinion and input. Go around the table and ask for an opinion if someone’s not speaking up. If you plan to dictate change with no input from anyone else, use another venue.
• Do something fun once in a while – Throw in a surprise now and then. Why not have your family meeting at the bowling alley or the go kart track? Even playing a game at home at the end of the meeting can be a nice change.
• End on a happy note – Even if you’ve had to deliver bad news at this meeting, find something positive to end with. It will leave a better memory about the experience.
• Don’t have them too often – You don’t need to have a family meeting to discuss every little issue. They’ll carry more weight if you use them only for important issues.
